


Tattoo (The Search For Emma Swan)

by SnappleApple11



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bonding over food, Dark Emma, Dragons, Drinking to Cope, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Friendship, Gen, Minor Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Multi, POV Female Character, Self-Acceptance, Speculation, Storybrooke, overcoming depression, search for emma swan, triggers for depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-04-02 14:44:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 76,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4063879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnappleApple11/pseuds/SnappleApple11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't until Emma disappeared that Lily found herself wanting to open up to anyone in Storybrooke, and it wasn't until she opened up that she realized she might be more important to finding the missing Savior than anyone realizes. Post 4b. Established CS and OQ</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A series of linked one-shots chronicling the hiatus when the Storybrookers are likely turning over every rock, leaf, and spell book searching for a way to find Emma and bring her home (And also coping with her being gone in their own ways). Told from Lily’s perspective because as the outside view and newest ‘citizen’ to Storybrooke she has the freshest view on everyone’s interrelatedness. 
> 
> Note: There’s absolutely nothing canonical about Lily having or not having tattoos, but my head canon is that she has a couple meaningful ones that kind of match her birthmark (I read somewhere that Emma’s wrist/flower tattoo was also seen on a crest in one of David’s EF outfits? Idk).

Walking out of the Rabbit Hole that evening, barely two drinks deep and her feet already tripping over themselves, Lily was sure of two things. The first was that bad things always happened when she was around, and in her mind the vanishing of Emma Swan only a week before was no exception. The second sure thing was that there was not enough alcohol in the lone bar to drown the sorrows of the entire town over their missing sheriff (Or Savior, or Princess, or whatever the hell they wanted to call her, Lily thought with forlorn disdain), even if the town’s populace seemed more than eager to challenge that claim when they weren’t feverishly pouring themselves into ancient books and funky smelling yellowed scrolls and potions. 

It was the weirdest mix of devoted gumption and unmatched sorrow Lily had ever seen in such a large population of people. 

But two drinks were all Lily could find it in herself to stomach that evening. She had spent too many years drinking herself into oblivion at the state of her life, and something in her insisted that now was not the time to fall back into destructive habits, no matter how much she wanted to use liquor to chase away the loss of her friend. 

Were they friends? Friend enemies? Lily didn’t honestly know, but she was starting to let herself believe Emma’s bullshitty nonsense about coming back into each other’s lives for a reason, and so far she really didn’t like the reason.

Lily guessed she could have gone to Maleficent to talk about the melancholy and depression she was feeling, but the idea of having someone to talk to, especially a blood relative, was still so new to her that she immediately nixed the idea. She didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts back in the eerily silent rented room above the diner, but she didn’t have anyone she trusted yet to talk to about Emma either. 

So she let her feet carry her around Storybrooke, telling herself it was better than drinking alone and trying to fill her head with the sounds of small town existence that permeated the evening. She followed the mostly empty streets and ducked her head when anyone passed by, avoiding eye contact and interaction as she had most of her life. The night air was brisk and Lily used it’s chill as an excuse to wrap her arms around herself in comfort, feigning warmth. 

Lily didn’t pay attention to where her feet brought her, so when she finally looked up and realized she was near the docks she was a little surprised. Emma had mentioned during the car ride to Maine that the docks were a good place for thinking and hardly anyone went there, but Lily didn’t necessarily like the ocean. 

She didn’t hate it, per se, just didn’t seek it out. If she wanted somewhere out of the way and near nature to be alone she would have preferred the forest. Something about the sound of wind rustling through the trees and the earth-scented atmosphere was more soothing to Lily than salty waves lapping noisily against a dock.

So why had she ended up here? Glancing over the darkened pier, she took note of just how many ships and boats there were, and how many of them seemed so out of place in a modern setting. Motorboats and modern fishing vessels were docked next to wooden ships that looked like they had been taken straight from a museum display. Lily half expected to see information signs in front of the vessels, describing the age and history of the floating wood, but the only sights that greeted her were the seagulls perched indiscriminately on all the ships. 

She wondered if that was part of the whole Storybrooke curse, that not just people but also their possessions came from their world to this one. More questions to ask nobody, Lily mused, growing just a little frustrated not for the first time since she had come to this ridiculous non-existent magical town.

One ship in particular caught her eye, docked by the end of one of the nearer piers with it’s sails tied away. There was no other way to describe the colorful heap of wood in Lily’s mind then as a very old, and highly decorated, pirate ship. As Lily walked closer to inspect the vessel, she quickly concluded that was exactly what it was, a pirate ship with the name Jolly Roger emblazoned on its bow. 

“The fuck?” Lily muttered. “It’s not enough that Captain fucking Hook is real and dating Emma, his ship has to be here? There better not be any giants in this town too. I don’t think I can handle that.”

“Well do pardon me for existing, lass,” An exasperated, accented voice slurred from behind her. Lily whirled around and caught sight of the famed captain himself (Jones, Lily reminded herself, Emma said his name was Killian Jones), slouched on a bench with a flask in hand and the smell of rum heavy in the air. “Although quite honestly, shouldn’t I be the one questioning your existence? Dragons are hardly commonplace, even in the Enchanted Forest.”

Lily would have laughed at that, the idea of a fairy tale character questioning the existence of a magical creature, but that would have meant acknowledging that she herself was a thing from a children’s book, and there was absolutely nothing about that train of thought that Lily wanted to even remotely think about.

He shifted in his seat, working to sit up straight but only succeeding in slouching even more as he spoke. “And I’ll ‘ave you know Anton’s a dear friend, so however you plan on ‘handling’ him I would discourage you from tampering with his garden of beans. The giant does dote on his beans, magical or otherwise.”

She stared at the pirate, quiet, not knowing how to respond or if to respond at all to the obvious drunken ramblings of a sorrowful man. The quiet must have stretched on too long for his liking though, because the look he sent her was impatient and exhausted. 

“Well aren’t you quite the conversationalist,” The pirate bit out sarcastically, his blue eyes boring through her with a distracted intensity. “No quips then, lass? No snappish one-liners? For a friend of Emma’s I’d have thought your tongue would be just as sharp. Not to worry, I’ve silver enough in my tongue for both sides of a conversation.”

For someone so clearly drunk the man was remarkably well spoken, and if he weren’t still mostly a stranger that Lily had grown up believing to be a notorious villain then she would have let herself be impressed. As it was, Jones kept talking, annoyance and anger rising in his tone. 

“You can speak, you know. I’m rather bloody tired of people tip-toeing around me. Like they assume I’ll either break down in tears at the mention of Emma or I’ll go on a violent spree the likes of which none have seen since my earliest days of piracy.”

Lily watched the pirate bring the flask up to his mouth in a too-smooth motion that she recognized all too easily as one of a frequent and practiced drinker. But she watched in fascination as the bottle failed to reach his lips, stopping short before falling back into his lap. 

His blue eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot, darkened by what had to be too many sleepless nights and too many tears. She knew her own eyes were just as darkened, but definitely not tear-streaked. All the moments of waking she experienced in the middle of the night left her feeling partly empty and like she was cut in half, but there was nothing sad about it, not really. There were still too many questions about the state of her and Emma’s ‘friendship’ that needed answering for her to know if ‘sad’ was even a feeling that qualified for those waking moments and nothing would be solved unless Emma was found.

It was then Lily caught sight of a piece of paper under the pirate’s hand, wrapped around the flask. Jones noticed the shift in her gaze and his anger seemed to melt away, pure sadness and loneliness falling over his features. 

“Ah, that’s… I’d meant to show Emma…” He let the flask fall to the ground, cap undone, clattering noisily on the dock. Lily noted distantly that he barely seemed to register the falling flask and that hardly anything spilled from it, leaving her to wonder just how much the man had drunk earlier and how quickly, given that she had spotted him scouring library books and maps just as feverishly as the rest of the town only a matter of hours before.

Jones held the paper in his hand lovingly, running his thumb along the page in a sweet caress. Lily realized he wasn’t going to offer to show her, and took several slow, measured steps until she was standing directly in front of him, looking down at the paper he so gently held. The paper had clearly been folded and unfolded countless times, and the ink had begun to run in scattered spots that closely resembled teardrops, but the image itself remained strikingly clear. An outline of a swan with a crown of five-petaled flowers on its head, its long neck curved gracefully in a gentle swoop that mirrored the curve of the visible wing. 

“Is that a…”

“A tattoo sketch, aye.”

“It’s nice,” She replied after several quiet moments. Jones barely acknowledged her reply, and began elaborating on the details of the picture.

“I’d thought to add some bean leaves to it,” He explained, “For our first excursion, but I rather prefer the flowers. It would be a match for her wrist tattoo then.”

Lily opened her mouth before she could stop herself. “Captain Hook wants a matching couples tattoo?” 

As soon as the words left her mouth she realized her mistake and cringed. 

The glare he shot her should have burned her alive, and in that instant Lily thought she would understand what it was to feel the pirate’s wrath, but could only feel a wave of jealousy roll through her, jealousy over Emma Swan who had someone like Killian Jones, someone who obviously cared about her deeply, and would defend her to the last. 

Lily thought maybe Emma had cared about her that much once, that their friendship had meant something to her the way it had to Lily, but now Lily wasn’t sure of anything regarding Emma.

Jones’ glare softened into sadness almost as quickly as it had risen to anger, his gaze dropping back to the swan picture. “Apologies, I uh…” He trailed off; silver tongue turning to lead as he let silence engulf them both. 

“Um, Emma has a wrist tattoo?” Lily found herself asking, knowing the answer already but wanting to move past the jealous clenching inside her. 

Jones seemed to want to move past his prior anger too, and nodded toward his hand. “Aye, inside her left wrist she has a flower with five petals,” He said. “A flower she told me she got not long after meeting you. The odd thing of this flower though, lass, is where else it comes from.”

Lily narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“The flower, it’s from the crest on her father’s shield,” He answered smoothly. “She wore a family symbol before she even knew of the family she was missing.”

A shiver went through Lily and she swore she felt a prickling dance across her shoulders, an odd sort of discomfort and realization flowing through her. Throughout her life Lily had gotten several tattoos, hidden from public sight but visible to her when she wanted them to be. On her ankles, her lower back, her ribcage; anywhere she felt like decorating her skin, if only to maintain a semblance of control in the downward spiral of her life. Her first tattoo, inked on her eighteenth birthday in a fit of drunken celebration and melancholy, had been a pair of dark and scaly reptilian wings stretching across each shoulder blade. 

At the time, the dragon wings had seemed like the best decision she had ever made. Something about the wings inked into her skin felt right and familiar, and she had never questioned it. But since coming to Storybrooke she began to wonder if maybe there wasn’t a hidden reason for that spur of the moment teenage choice. After all, nothing connected to the small town seemed to happen without reason, and Lily learning she was Maleficent’s daughter and turning into a dragon was definitely no coincidence. 

Lily was pulled back from her musings when she realized Jones was still talking about the flower. “… So I wanted to add it to the swan tattoo, because of what she’s given me, love and hope and even a family of sorts too.” 

“Where would you put the swan?” She interrupted, needing to move her thoughts elsewhere and hoping the pirate’s drunkenness would distract her. 

Jones lifted his hook to tap against his chest. “Right here, over my heart,” He said. “It belongs to her, after all.” 

Lily bit her tongue to stop a remark about Jones being a romantic sap and wondering why he didn’t just get ‘property of E. Swan’ tattooed there instead. She had learned her lesson the last time she said anything like that, and wasn’t eager to revisit that glare. 

Jones, however, seemed to read the quip in her face anyway, despite her silence. “Aye, I’ve a soft heart when it comes to Emma Swan, I’ll not deny that. There’s no one else I’d trust to hold my heart in their hands.”

“Please tell me you’re not being literal with that heart holding thing,” Lily snipped, responding to the pirate’s declarations of devotion with the sarcasm and snark that had always kept her distant and safe. 

Instead of answering sarcastically like she thought he would, the corner of his mouth tipped upward in a belligerent smirk. “There she is. There’s Swan’s friend. Knew you ‘ad a quip in you,” He smirked. 

Lily snorted at that. “We’re not friends,” She insisted, trying to convince herself more than anyone else. 

“But you are,” Jones replied, just as adamantly. “Even if Emma hadn’t told me so herself, I know what I’ve seen in your interactions. You’re friends. And any friend of Emma’s is a friend of mine.”

“Pfft. She didn’t seriously say I was a friend.” After everything that had happened between them there was no way in hell Emma would ever consider them friends. But weirdly enough, Lily wanted it to be true. She wanted to have Emma as a friend, as someone to talk to about the craziness of their lives, about growing up in reality only to learn they were the kids of fucking fairy tale characters. Learning everything from the old apprentice was one thing, but actually experiencing it and living it was something else all together, and Lily was starting to realize that she didn’t want to face it alone. 

She wanted a friend. She wanted Emma. 

Instead, what she had right now was Emma’s drunken boyfriend, Captain fucking Hook, who was currently being a stubborn and insistent ass. “Is that really so hard to believe? She could have left you outside of the town line and shoved Maleficent after you for your little family reunion, but she brought you inside instead. She even showed me a moving picture of the two of you. Two friends, laughing together, forever captured in a moving image.”

Lily stared at the pirate in disbelief at this slip in information. “She still has that video?”

“Aye, she does.” There was a twinkle in the man’s eyes that said he knew he had her attention. If Emma had actually kept the video after all these years, maybe there was hope for their friendship yet. 

“Can I- Can I see it?” Lily asked, voice more nervous than she wanted. 

“Course lass. Right this way.” Jones stood up, stumbling only for the briefest of moments before righting himself. He took one last look at the swan picture in his hand before folding it slowly and tucking it into his jacket’s inner pocket. He took several steps toward town before pausing and turning to wait for Lily to catch up. 

“I believe ‘enry had the device last,” He explained while she stepped toward him. “Shouldn’t be a problem to wake the lad, if he’s even asleep at all.”

As they walked away from the docks side by side, Lily’s steps nervous but steady and Jones’ surprisingly balanced, Lily found she was sure of two more things. The first was that Emma was gone and whatever friendship they had or didn’t have anymore had been put on hold until her return. The second sure thing was that even though Lily didn’t have access to Emma as a friend right now she had access to the people Emma had come to care about. It wasn’t at all the same thing, and the only thing she really had in common with these people was a connection to Emma, but Lily thought she could use that as a start, as a way to break the ice, so to speak. 

It was better than drinking alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So when I said this would be a bunch of one shots, I was lying to myself. These are going to be more or less fully connected in a semi-cohesive story. Same premise, same Lily POV, but more connectivity.

As it turned out, Emma’s kid was wide-awake that night. Jones sent him a text asking about the video and got a reply within moments, telling them both to come over to the loft so they could all watch it. 

Lily was feeling less and less sure of her sudden desire to watch the video, wondering if this was all just the booze talking. But then she remembered she was barely two drinks deep and had more or less sobered up by then so she couldn’t blame anything on the alcohol. 

Jones on the other hand…

Every step the man took next to her was coordinated but weary, his feet only barely dragging along the sidewalk. It was easy to see he was well used to walking places while intoxicated, and Lily wondered if she ever looked like that when she had been a heavier drinker. 

A howl filled the night air and Lily whipped her head toward the sound in curiosity. It resonated from somewhere across the town and deep in the woods, bouncing off buildings and trees in a way that immediately filled Lily’s mind with thoughts of sad, missing, and lonely. 

“S’not the full moon yet, is it?” Jones commented lazily next to her, head turned toward the woods where the howl had come from. Another great echoing howl filled the air and the pirate shrugged nonchalantly in answer to his own question, feet continuing to drag him forward one step at a time. His lack of worry about what was definitely a wolf made Lily more than a little nervous. She didn’t think she was scared of the wolf, but she didn’t like how the pirate was so at ease about the sound, as if such a thing happened all the time. 

“Loft’s just up here, lass,” He said, pulling her from her thoughts as he pointed to a small brick building a block ahead of them.

Entering the building and walking up the stairs sent a small shiver through Lily, leaving her uneasy for some reason. Maybe it was because she was a blatant outsider about to enter a family’s home. Families always made Lily uncomfortable, especially those as tightly knit as the one Emma seemed to have found for herself. There was a closeness between them Lily never understood and knew she would never be part of, so learning how to act around groups like them had always been hard for her. 

So when Emma’s kid opened the door before either Lily or Hook could knock, it startled her. “I heard you guys coming up the stairs. Grandma just put Neal back to bed so I think we have a couple hours until he wakes up again,” He offered in explanation. Jones didn’t seem surprised at all and walked right into the apartment without preamble, Lily following behind him with slower, more measured steps. 

“I’m Henry, by the way,” The kid said in a stage whisper, hand held out toward her in obvious greeting. 

Lily stared at the offered hand in confusion. “I know,” She replied dryly. Topics of conversation during the car ride from Boston to New York and then to Storybrooke had varied between one of two subjects, either Robin Hood or Henry. If Emma and Regina weren’t plotting the rescue of the Queen’s thief-boyfriend slash soul mate then they were rambling on distractedly about their son’s latest activities. They spent a good portion of the trip talking about how smart the kid was, about his love for literature and how to help with his constant frustration with math. By the time they reached Maine, Lily felt confident she could recite the kid’s life history backwards. 

Henry didn’t let Lily’s dryness affect him though. “Mom probably told you already, but I just figured we were never actually introduced.” The hand was still hanging between them and in a moment of politeness Lily decided that being rude was probably not the best way to begin her stay in town, especially if she was being rude to Emma’s kid. 

“Lily,” She answered, taking gentle hold of the kid’s hand. Henry tightened his grip on her hand and shook it in several meaningful shakes before dropping it with a satisfied smile and gesturing toward the couch, saying he would be right back with the video and some hot chocolate. Lily didn’t have the heart to tell the kid she wasn’t a hot chocolate fan, and instead moved to stand by the couch, feeling awkward about sitting while the others stood. 

“The Queen has certainly drilled manners into you lad. You’ll make a proper gentleman yet,” Jones quipped from the kitchen where he was pulling mugs from a cabinet. Lily saw Henry roll his eyes when he joined him and even with their continued stage whispers she could still hear the remnants of their conversation. 

“Thought you guys might want something else to drink while we watched the video,” Henry said.

The pirate’s reply was quick and flippant, meant to de-emphasize the gravity of his words. “Admittedly we’ve both been imbibing in something a tad stronger this evening, although I’ll gladly take some of your famous hot chocolate.”

“I know. I can smell it,” The kid deadpanned. 

Jones’ next words were too quiet for Lily to hear but she heard the kid’s reply clear enough. 

“It’s ok Killian, I get it. But you know we’ll find her.” Henry bumped shoulders with the taller man and Jones smiled at him, rubbing a hand on the kid’s shoulder in comfort before they both returned to preparing the drinks. 

It was moments like those that made Lily uncomfortable, moments of trust and reassurance. She felt like an outsider watching a TV family in their own perfect little world, and even as she worked to hold her face in its usual stony exterior she could feel her mask crumble just a little in the presence of such obvious companionship. Another familiar shiver ran through her, along with the briefest wave of something unfamiliar, something new that clenched around her heart just a little and she shook both feelings aside. 

She sat down quickly on the very end of the sofa but instead of meeting a soft cushion she landed on something hard and something else that crinkled loudly, forcing her to shoot back up to standing. Looking down, Lily saw she had inadvertently sat on a pile of paper scribbled with notes and a thick book titled “Once Upon A Time” that she eyed curiously. 

“Sorry! I was gonna put those away,” Henry explained in a rush, walking over with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, Jones following behind him with a third. 

The kid put both mugs on the coffee table and took the book and notes from the couch, setting them on the other side of the coffee table. He picked up a mug and handed it to Lily before stepping toward the TV to set up the video. Lily took an experimental sniff of the offered beverage, wrinkling her nose when the scent of cinnamon wafted together with the decadent chocolate in a combination that did no favors for Lily’s mood. 

Jones noticed her distaste, and immediately offered her his own mug. “Apologies, lass. We weren’t certain whether you took cinnamon in yours or not. Have this one. There’s no cinnamon in it.” Trading mugs, Lily took another tentative sniff, but didn’t bother pretending to drink. Instead she wrapped her hands around the mug to leech some warmth from the beverage, fighting off a non-existent chill as she took a seat on the edge of the sofa once again. 

While Henry finished setting up the video Jones started rifling through the kid’s papers. 

“Still hard at work I see. Find anything of note?” The pirate asked, taking a seat towards the other end of the couch. 

Henry came back from the TV to sit between them, remote in hand and sitting decidedly closer to the pirate than to her, Lily noticed. 

“Nothing yet, but I figure there’s gotta be something about the Dark One’s curse in the book from when Gold had it, or when he first got it. Just some detail or whatever that I’m not seeing,” He replied, leaning back against the cushions and clicking the remote. Jones only nodded at him in acknowledgment. 

Lily thought she knew a good deal about Storybrooke and it’s citizens. The Apprentice had told her the essentials that Lily thought she needed for her revenge, how the feud between Snow White and the Evil Queen had sent Snow and her husband Prince Charming to find protection for their unborn daughter, and how that search had led to Lily being sent to this world at birth. But the existence of this book was news to her. An entire book filled with the history of the Enchanted Forest. The idea of it tempted Lily to take a look but she shoved the feeling aside, turning to face the TV.

As the screen flashed and flickered to life, an image of two girls, one blonde and one brunette, enveloped the screen, and Lily couldn’t tear her eyes away. The obvious happiness and spontaneity of that captured moment was lost to her now, and for the life of her she couldn’t remember what had caused it. Whatever it was, it had obviously been enough to make Lily and Emma carefree and happy in a way neither of their lives really allowed. 

The image sent a trickle of that strange, new, heart-clenching feel through her, and Lily wasn’t sure she wanted to suppress the feeling this time. 

“Hold on a sec, let me get the sound on,” Henry said next to her. Lily hadn’t even realized the video was muted, but a moment later girlish laughter filled the silent loft and Lily suddenly felt sucker-punched. 

The hold around her heart tightened painfully and Lily visibly shuddered, spilling some of her untouched hot chocolate onto her hands and the floor. The heat of the drink startled Lily from the feelings churning through her and in that moment she was sure of only one thing. 

“I- I gotta go,” She stammered, rising quickly from the couch and nearly tipping the still full mug of hot chocolate over when she hastily set it on the table. Henry rose with her a moment later and followed her to the door. 

“Lily?” Henry questioned.

“Lass, wait,” She heard Jones say. It was the last thing she heard from them as she raced out of the apartment, not bothering to close the door behind her while she flew down the stairs and into the night. 

This time, she wouldn’t let her feet carry her wherever they wanted. This time she was going to be in full control of her destination, and right now that meant doing what she did best and retreating somewhere she could think and recollect herself. Somewhere like a cave. That was what dragons did anyway, right? Hid away in caves? But Lily didn’t have a cave of her own. She had a rented room above the local diner. And where before she had feared the utter and complete silence the room presented, now she craved it. She craved the stillness the room would provide, and the sanctuary. 

Maybe she could deafen the video’s mocking laughter with the roar of silence instead.

She couldn’t explain it, the feeling that welled up in her when she watched that video and the sudden panic and tightening inside her when the sound came on. There was just something about it that unnerved her and sent her running in fear. So Lily raced down the street, picking up speed until she was running across the pavement, streets and buildings flying by in a blur of muted night colors. The adrenaline now pumping through her kept her focused on her destination, kept her mind off the burning in her legs and lungs. It brought her back to the diner in what felt like moments, and she was soon pounding up the stairs, slamming the door to her room open and shut and collapsing against it.

The first thing her mind registered as awareness came back to her, was the hard wooden door pressed painfully against her back, holding her upright and rigid. The second thing she noticed was the rasping sound of her breath, wheezing and heavy and echoing too loudly in the silent room. 

Good, she thought distantly, at least it would cover up that God damned laughter. 

The instant Lily’s thoughts began to take coherent shape again was also the instant that pain and sensation returned to her legs. It reminded her that she had just sprinted across town and that her legs were now going on strike, burning and bending underneath her as they collapsed and lowered her to the cold floor. The ache in her chest was still there, still fighting to tighten its way around her heart, but it was being smothered by the burn in her lungs and her body’s desperate need for oxygen, a burn that Lily allowed to consume her. 

Lily chased the burn filling her lungs, and as the tightening in her chest lessened, she started to welcome the dark and heavy cold now trying to consume her. Cold and dark were things Lily was all too familiar with, and she was only too happy to let them carry her off to yet another night of fitful sleep. Her last thoughts as she drifted into unconsciousness were of smothered warmth, familiar cold, and something far darker and more foreboding than she had ever experienced creeping its way closer to her. 

When Lily woke up the next morning, she couldn’t remember actually falling asleep, only the sensation of falling into a cold haze. Just like she couldn’t remember the strange numbness that now seemed to tingle along the edges of her awareness. She shoved the thoughts aside. Thinking about the strange sensation somehow made it worse, or at least more noticeable, and Lily didn’t want anything to do with that right now. 

All she really wanted at that moment was some coffee. 

Pulling herself from the floor by the doorway where she had collapsed the previous night, she winced as her neck and limbs cracked in stiffness. She had slept in worse places over the years, the backs of cars, hallways, even alleys. Once she had even fallen asleep in the back office of a bar in a drunken stupor. The bartender had hauled her back there after deciding that calling a cab for her would have been too much trouble, especially since she had been underage at the time and no one had realized until she was well-past the point of no return. 

The stiffness of the morning was accompanied by the usual cold and the new tingling sensation that danced along her mind, but as far as Lily was concerned, there was nothing a cup of black coffee couldn’t fix, even in a town as magically whacked out as Storybrooke. 

Making her way out of the room, she stumbled down the hallway, feet unsteady and heavy as lead. A sardonic smile graced her lips as she carefully navigated the stairs to the diner. If it had been the old her, a night of heavy drinking would never have left her so uncoordinated, but she hadn’t considered herself a truly heavy drinker in several years, so maybe the unsteadiness she felt now was a sign she was actually getting better. 

She felt shitty therefore she was getting better. The logic seemed fine enough in the muddled and frozen haze of her early morning thoughts, and she didn’t question it as she pushed the back door of the diner open, fully intending to walk right up to the counter and demand a coffee from the old woman who owned the restaurant. 

Then again, Lily realized, she hadn’t been drinking the night before apart from the two drinks, so maybe this was part of the whole ‘family’ thing that she was experiencing second-hand. Maybe that sort of thing just took it all out of a person. She certainly felt shitty enough to have experienced something like that, given the way her encounter with Jones and Emma’s kid had gone the previous night.

And thinking of family…

Sitting at a tiny table in the middle of the diner with coffees, eggs, and a fake flower perched between them, was Snow White and Maleficent. Lily could only see Snow’s face but given the soft turn of her mouth, the heart felt shine in her eyes, and the adamant way she was speaking Lily had no doubt the conversation was about her. More specifically, it was about how Maleficent was going to try to establish a mother-daughter relationship with her, despite both of them being grown adults. 

Lily realized she could have snuck out of the diner by using the back stairwell, or even retreated with a few silent backward steps, but she was already standing part way into the diner and had already been noticed by several other diner-goers, including Snow White, whose dark eyes locked with hers in a moment Lily could only attribute to serendipitous misfortune. The petite woman’s face lit up like a fucking Christmas tree and Lily shrank back, but it was too late.

“Lily! Good morning!” Snow greeted too cheerily, effectively pulling the attention of every diner-goer to them. Maleficent’s blonde head swiveled slowly around to face her with a mix of trepidation and eagerness that Lily had no idea what to do with except run away from, but she forced herself to stay glued to where she stood. 

“Lily,” Maleficent said softly, her eyes lighting up hopefully. Snow White cast curious, gauging looks between them, studying their reactions with an unguarded enthusiasm that unnerved Lily. In fact, everyone in the diner seemed to be eyeing the exchange a little too closely and Lily was all too aware of it. 

Lily stood frozen in place for only a moment longer before she brought herself to step closer to the pair’s table, deciding that standing so far away for a conversation would only mean more prying eyes and listening ears, something she desperately wanted to avoid. 

But Maleficent didn’t seem to be letting prying eyes stop her, and took Lily’s approach as her cue to talk. “I was wondering if perhaps,” Maleficent cast a quick look to Snow White, who nodded in reassurance, encouraging her on. “If perhaps you wanted to meet up later today? Maybe we could work on controlling your dragon form?” 

“Oh, um…” Sure, Lily had talked about learning how to be a ‘scary dragon bitch’ from Maleficent, and yeah, maybe it would’ve been nice to not worry about losing control if she ever found herself in dragon form again, but the hope and nervousness in Maleficent’s face, that fearful eagerness and desire to move forward, it was something Lily didn’t want to understand because it never led to anything good anyway. But somehow Lily couldn’t pull her eyes away from the older woman. “Sure…” 

Maleficent’s eyebrows tipped upwards in the slightest acknowledgement of pleased surprise, and Lily finally realized what she had just said, coughing and backpedaling in answer to herself. “I uh, I should get going. I’ll find you later,” She stammered, looking anywhere but at the two mothers. When her eyes locked on the front door she decided that skipping coffee and feeling somewhat hungover for the day was preferable to sitting and sharing brunch with two women who had likely spent the morning discussing her. 

“Lily…” She heard Maleficent start to say. Not wanting to see the full range of either of their reactions Lily turned on her heel and marched out the front door. 

“No, no! This is good! This is a good start!” She heard Snow say, the sound muffled slightly through the closing door and growing distance. 

As she let her feet carry her away from the diner Lily felt the cold that she had woken up to that morning push at her, and the clenching in her heart from last night push back. The sensation had her shuddering in discomfort and she wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt at relief. 

What the hell was she getting herself into?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really glad to hear I’m not the only one hoping Lily sticks around for a bit on the show. There was all that hype about her and Emma’s friendship and then her coming back into Emma’s life, so I’m kind of intrigued to see what happens with her next season. But until then, I’ll just have to stick with writing down what’s in my head.
> 
> Disclaimer: Recognize it? It’s not mine.

An hour after walking out of the diner after the encounter with Maleficent, it occurred to Lily that not only had she still not eaten anything, but she also didn’t actually know where she was going (The hunger wasn’t really an issue, Lily knew she had gone longer without food during lower points in her life.). The only thing that had been going through her head was to get out of the diner as fast as possible and leave behind all the prying and curious stares. It hadn’t occurred to her that she would need an actual destination once she left the building. 

So against her better judgment she let her feet carry her around town. She didn’t necessarily want her feet carrying her anywhere today, not after last night’s debacle at the docks and then Emma’s loft. No, her feet had done enough damage for 24 hours, and she needed to rein them in. But maybe if she kept walking clear across town and then wandered around the woods until she was exhausted beyond anything? If she was tired enough, it might keep her feet from needing to bring her anywhere, and then maybe she could sleep a little more easily too, and this time in a bed.

Waking up on the floor wasn’t something she wanted to repeat anytime soon. 

All around her, people puttered their way around town, meandering into shops and along the sidewalk. Families walked hand in hand and Lily couldn’t stop her traitorous ears from picking up on the gleeful laughter of children and their mothers, the sound doing decidedly uncomfortable things to her. One such family across the street had dissolved into a giggling, cooing mess as they walked out of the ice cream parlor with their frozen treats and Lily bristled at the sight. 

(What parent let their kid have ice cream at ten in the morning anyway?) 

It was another scene straight out of the suburban house sitcom she had stumbled into last night at Emma’s loft. Just another reminder of how much she didn’t belong. Was that what Maleficent wanted with her, that level of domesticity? Somehow, she couldn’t imagine the dragon-woman as any kind of PTA parent and frankly Lily couldn’t be part of such a picture. 

The clock tower rang out loudly with ten booming clangs of its bell and Lily’s eyes darted toward the dated structure, briefly wondering how the old building managed to hold together when it looked like it would fall apart any second. Like the docks from the previous night, the buildings and cars around town were an eclectic mix of old and modern, or at least, old and what passed for modern in the 1980s. Even the things that managed to be snuck in from out of town seemed dated despite their newness, like Cruella DeVil’s car, and Emma’s beat up Volkswagen. Maybe the curse itself had nothing to do with people’s possessions from the Enchanted Forest following them to Storybrooke. Maybe instead there was something about being from a land stuck in time that made its citizens want to cling to the past in whatever capacity they could, be it physical, familial, or emotional. 

Lily continued down the sidewalk, destination still undecided, when the roar of a motorcycle engine echoed through the air, breaking the monotony of small town life and sending a shiver down Lily’s spine. The thunderous sound yanked fervently at something in Lily’s memories and she forced back the unwanted deluge of emotions that the sound still welled up in her years later. 

There was no way ‘he’ could be here of all places, Lily reasoned. The bike probably belonged another fairy tale retro-seeker. 

Part of her wanted nothing more than to find the bike and hotwire the thing and drive it straight out of town, away from a mother she barely knew and magical suburban nonsense. The more practical part of her reasoned that she hadn’t driven a motorcycle in years, and even then it was only a handful of times, however blissful they were. 

Her thoughts drifted briefly to the asshole ex-fling who taught her to shift gears properly, but only did it so she could act as an escape driver from their latest dine and dash. She could count on one hand the number of times she had actually driven a bike, but she would never forget the feeling of freedom it gave her, and the feeling of possibility that came with the wind whipping through her hair mile after mile.

Lily shook the memories aside before the tingling heat and biting cold that always came with thoughts of ‘him’ could battle it out any further inside her. Maybe she would skip town and go on that forest walk after all, she decided, feet pivoting in the other direction and carrying her out of town and into the woods. 

It should have scared her how easy it was to lose all sense of time and awareness as she walked toward the shaded forest, but Lily was honestly grateful for the distraction and she couldn’t find it in her to be surprised with herself anyway. Walking in the woods somehow made sense to her. It always had. Growing up, when her foster family stopped feeling like a family, which was almost always, Lily ran to the woods to clear her head. Something about the earthen scent that filled the air, and the towering pine trees dappling sunlight through their branches, bathing the forest floor in glimmers of sunlight, just soothed her. It was a feeling of calm she hadn’t found again until she got on the back of a motorcycle for the first time. She was sure that calming effect was the reason why she had run to the woods during her first transformation into a dragon. 

After her first meeting and subsequent fall out with Emma as a teenager, Lily had gone to the woods then too, spending several nights camped out in a makeshift lean-to under the stars. It was only after this meeting that she recognized the inescapable chill of darkness that had held her in its clutches all her life, and it was only after her second and arguably more disastrous meeting with a teenaged Emma that some subconscious part of Lily seemed to rebel at the idea of being left alone in the dark. It was this part of Lily that had hated Emma for years, hated that the blonde had seemingly gotten ahead in life while she had been left behind to suffer. 

The strange and timely arrival of the apprentice on Lily’s bus not long after that had simply given her focus for her anger in the form of revenge against Snow White and Charming. 

But Lily knew she wasn’t supposed to let herself think like that anymore. Her attempts at revenge against Emma and her parents had been pitiful, to say the least, and evil-incarnate herself Maleficent wanted to make a go of being a semi-decent person and mother. Lily wasn’t at all content to let go of her revenge, not yet, maybe not really ever, but she could at least try and make amends with people who didn’t deserve the blame, like her mother, and Jones, and Emma’s kid. 

Lily sighed at that. She shouldn’t have run out on the kid the night before. Looming magical darkness or not, the kid didn’t know any better. It wasn’t his fault Lily had been a nostalgic masochist and wanted to watch a video of her and Emma as teenagers last night. And it wasn’t his fault that she had what probably amounted to a magical breakdown both during and after the viewing. 

If she happened to run into the kid, (Henry, she reminded herself. Henry, after the Evil Queen’s dad) then she would try and apologize. The gesture might go a long way toward building something like friendship between her and Emma again if she was at least polite to the kid. 

She would just have to find the kid first though, but not until after her walk in the woods. The trees overhead and the soft ground underfoot were currently doing wonders for Lily’s mood, easing the tension from her until she thought she could finally just breathe and be alone with her thoughts. She wasn’t that eager to expose herself and apologize any time soon, even to Emma’s kid. 

Unfortunately for Lily, the universe seemed to have other ideas. 

Normally Lily didn’t care about her thoughts meandering away from her while she was in the woods. It helped her clear her head and soothe the darkness that was constantly aiming for her heart. Then again, normally she wasn’t wandering through a semi-magical forest, and this particular magical forest wanted to deliver her into the presence of an ominous and strangely located children’s play structure in a small clearing of trees, far away from the nearest road or building. 

This same play structure happened to be occupied by Emma’s kid, sitting on a low platform nose deep in a thick book with papers and pencils strewn about him. True, she wanted to apologize, but this was just ridiculously soon for her. Lily was about to chalk it all up to divine intervention and slip away back where she had come from behind a tree, apology be damned, when the kid chose that moment to pull his nose out of the book, catch her eye briefly, and call her name.

“Lily! Hey Lily! Over here!”

Lily tensed but she didn’t move toward the kid. If she made eye contact she would feel obligated to stay or say something, but she’d always had a soft spot about kids being on their own, and the brief sight of Henry sitting there on the play structure alone in the middle of the woods tugged at the faintest heartstrings of what Lily could only assume was empathy. 

She would just have to somehow apologize for running out the night before without sounding pathetic, she decided. 

“Hi, uh, Henry,” She replied, unsure how to proceed. 

“Want something to eat? I’ve got extra sandwiches,” Henry offered, voice far too enthusiastic and chipper. 

“You just happened to have extra? Why?”

“Well, some are for Pinocchio but he isn’t here yet. He was gonna help me with some more research into the storybook. No one knows the book like he does. He’ll understand though, about the sandwiches.” 

“Pinocchio, the wooden puppet? Do people actually call him that around here?”

Henry’s face scrunched in amusement. “Well, no, but I just thought… Whatever. Anyway, he’s not made of wood now, you know.”

“Right, the whole real boy thing.” Silence followed and Lily shuffled her feet awkwardly, unwilling to move closer but not sure how to walk away. Was Henry studying the fairytale history book out here? The one titled Once Upon A Time? Lily wouldn’t deny that she was a tiny bit curious about what exactly was inside the book. Were there stories about her mother in there? Or even her unknown father? She decided she would have to get a look inside the book somehow without drawing suspicion. 

“So, sandwiches. You still want one?” Henry offered, childish brown eyes looking at Lily expectantly. 

She was always wary of anyone who freely offered anything, especially food. Nothing was ever free, even from a kid like Henry who probably didn’t know the first thing about blackmail and life-saving trades. But for all the caution that the foster kid in Lily held about ‘free’ things, another part of her was quick to latch onto the promise of food, reminding her how empty her stomach was and how much better she might feel if she would only fill it, not to mention it could mean access to the book. 

It was this part of her that urged her to move her feet forward, one step at a time, until she was standing next to the kid by the play structure, her hands clenching and unclenching nervously by her sides. 

If Henry noticed her wariness he did an excellent job of blatantly ignoring it, choosing instead to rummage through the small bag on the ground that contained the food. “So what kind do you want? You got any allergies? I think I have a meatless one in here, maybe. Actually, are you vegetarian? Wait, can dragons be vegetarian?” 

His stare was genuinely curious, if a little bemused, and Lily felt her jaw tense, whether in annoyance or anger at the casual mention of her dragon-nature, she wasn’t sure. Henry, however, didn’t seem perturbed by the rising tension, brushing it aside easily. The kid seemed unreasonably good at that. “Right, with meat then. Here’s a turkey and cheese. It’s either that, ham and cheese, or I think there’s a roast veggie one here? I dunno. I just kinda grabbed whatever was leftover in the fridge this morning and threw it all on some bread.”

Lily took the offered turkey sandwich, eyeing the homemade meal warily before taking a bite. They ate in mostly one-sided silence, Henry munching on a ham and cheese sandwich while he scribbled nonsensical notes on scrap paper. Lily stood next to him, reading over his shoulder as best as she could, trying to learn the histories of the fairytale characters she currently walked amongst. She missed some of the earlier pages, since Henry was already halfway through the book, but the stories she saw were oddly enlightening and filled in a lot of the blanks she had found in her research of Storybrooke over the years. (How was she supposed to know the Mad Hatter wasn’t actually from Wonderland? In fact, how was she supposed to know that Wonderland was real in the first place? It certainly had nothing to do with Lily’s revenge on Snow White and Charming.) 

Sometimes Henry would think of something out loud and then answer his own question, like how exactly Snow White had gotten a hold of dark fairy dust (Lily had never heard of such a thing, but according to Henry his grandmother had stolen it). Other times he turned to Lily with a hypothetical idea or general question, like why true love’s kiss didn’t fix more problems in the Enchanted Forest. 

(“There are curses and stuff all the time. Why not use the cure-all?” He insisted.)

(“Kid, that sounds like a cop-out. What kind of story would that make if everything were fixed that easily?”) 

(“Really? Oh, I guess,” Henry answered, a little disappointed and shoulders deflated. Lily tried to ignore the heaviness that settled in her at the sight.). 

He was trying to include her, she realized slowly, and an unfamiliar spark lit briefly inside her, warming a chilled corner of her by a fraction. No. He was only including her because he pitied her for being alone; another voice inside her declared, and the spark was gone. 

Lily resigned herself to memorizing every detail she could of the open book in front of her, not knowing if she might get another chance and not wanting to have to rely on a kid’s sympathies, real or otherwise, to have another look. Glancing over the open page of Snow White and Prince Charming she took in everything there, every word, every illustrated action, and every repetitive vine and tree and flower draped around the picture in an elaborate frame. 

She narrowed her eyes at the border of the picture. “That flower, on the edge of the page…”

“Huh? Oh, the buttercups? Yeah, they’re part of the crest on Grandpa David’s shield. See? Like in this picture.” Henry flipped forward several pages until he reached one depicting Prince Charming as the ever valiant knight in shining armor, his sword held high in attack and shield ready to defend, its surface emblazoned with the buttercup flower Lily knew was inked into Emma’s wrist. It was just like Jones had said the night before; Emma had been wearing a symbol of her family even before she knew they existed. 

“Could I, um…” Lily gestured helplessly toward the book, hoping the kid understood what she was trying to say. Luckily, he did, and he smiled as he wordlessly passed the book to her. 

Lily started flipping through the pages without reading the actual story, eyes fervently searching the illustrations for a symbol that she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to find. Towards the end of the book she reached a page depicting two women painted in darkened tones of purples and blacks, their decadent gowns bathed in the golden light of a grand fireplace. Lily recognized the two women outright as the Evil Queen and Maleficent, frozen in remorseful conversation over drinks, but her eyes didn’t stray on their forms long. Instead, she locked her stare onto the border of the picture, to where burnt ruins of castles lined the page amid sketches of dragon wings, wings that were shaped and colored exactly like those inked onto Lily’s shoulders. Her hands shook as she traced the edges of the page with her fingers, following the lines of the wings in gentle but trembling swoops. 

The wings were in the fucking storybook. 

How the fuck was that even possible?

Henry’s voice interrupted her darkening musings and fears in that unaware and unassuming manner of his.

“Mom, err, Regina, she and Maleficent were kind of friends back in the Enchanted Forest,” He started to say, his brown eyes soft and understanding as he took in the illustration. “Mom helped Maleficent get her spark back, and Maleficent taught her a little about magic. That’s how mom tells it, anyway. I don’t know all the details. The book doesn’t have it in there.”

Lily turned to him, confused. “What do you mean you don’t know? Isn’t everything in this book?”

“Nah,” He shrugged, nonchalant. “It’s mostly just about Grandma Snow and Regina’s history and the curse that brought them here. There are side stories, yeah, but it’s not everything. I think it was just supposed to be enough to help Emma believe and break the curse, but she didn’t believe right away. I mean, Pinocchio had to add pages for his story in later when Emma first got here to try and help her. I guess he thought it would help since he couldn’t lie.” 

There was Pinocchio again. Why did he keep coming up in the kid’s talks? Maybe this Pinocchio kid was a good friend of Henry’s? A kid like Henry had to have friends his own age, right?

Lily shook the thought of friends aside before the cold started clenching too tightly on her heart. Speaking of friends, even non-current ones, Lily still had an apology to make to Emma’s kid. 

“Henry I’m, um, I’m sorry for how I was last night. You and Jones weren’t being jackas- err, jerks, but I was just…” Apologizing wasn’t Lily’s forte. It just wasn’t something she let herself do. It wasn’t that she never felt guilty; it was that she usually ran and left before she could muster the courage to do any apologizing. But faced with the prospect of Emma’s kid being disappointed in her, something inside Lily decided it wanted to make amends, not that she would be analyzing that particular train of thought any time soon, unfamiliar and almost motherly as it was. 

“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine,” Henry answered, eyes locked back on the book in his lap. “You can sit down if you want? You don’t have to stand.”

Lily shook her head. “I’m fine,” She insisted.

Henry shot her an odd look, but inevitably shrugged. 

“So what is this place, anyway, apart from the weirdest looking playground ever?” Lily asked, not wanting to fall into an awkward silence.

“My castle.”

Lily knew her forehead was scrunched in confusion and Henry’s exaggerated eye roll at her expense didn’t clarify anything.

“I mean, technically it’s a playground and it’s not even the first original castle but… Look, I just do a lot of thinking here, ok? It’s my castle, my space,” He tried to explain. 

“And your space is in the middle of the woods?”

“Mom built this one after she tore the other one down in the park.”

“Emma did?”

“No, Regina,” Henry answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.   
Lily shifted uncomfortably at the mention of the Evil Queen, but Henry barreled onward. “I didn’t figure it out until recently, but she actually had it designed based on her old castle back in the Enchanted Forest.” 

“A kids playground based on an Evil Queen’s castle? Gee, who thought that was a good idea?” Lily asked, voice sarcastic and rhetorical. So she was right about fairytale characters needing to cling to the past in different ways. “It’s pretty isolated for a kids place, isn’t it? And don’t you usually have a babysitter or someone with you? Why are you out here alone?”

“I’m thirteen, I’m not a little kid. I do the babysitting nowadays, just ask Uncle Neal or… Err, never mind, don’t ask him. He can’t talk yet…”

“Right,” Lily deadpanned, fingers tapping the pillar of the play structure. “Creepy playgrounds in the middle of nowhere, pirate ships in the harbor next to motor boats. This whole town is weirder than Obscura.”

Henry’s ears perked up at that. “The antiques place in New York?”

Lily’s eyes narrowed further. “How do you know about-?”

“We bought an anchor there for the apartment wall. I mean, it was kinda far from where we lived but Emma and I used to go there sometimes back when we were living in…” He trailed off as a contemplative look came over him. “Hey, did you ever live in Arizona?”

“What?”

“Arizona. Have you ever lived there?”

“I never really live anywhere, I just… pass through places every few months.” Lily shuffled her feet, uncomfortable with being the subject of the kid’s curiosity. 

“But thirteen years ago, where were you ‘passing through’? Phoenix? Portland?”

“I dunno,” She shrugged helplessly. “I’ve been a lot of places. I don’t like remembering all of them.”

“But you could’ve gone through Phoenix at some point?” Henry asked. His eyes were locked on her like a detective grilling a key witness, insistent and eager and just a little obsessive over what had to be some half-formed crazy theory. 

“Fine, yes, why does it matter so much if or when I ever went through Phoenix, Arizona? Do you wanna know about every guy I ever dated too?” Lily exclaimed. To anyone else these would have been easy questions, but to Lily it may as well have been the inquisition, and she hated feeling attacked in such a way. 

Henry was clearly taken aback at her exclamation and held his hands up in surrender. “Ok, ok, I’ll stop asking. It’s just a question.”

She sighed, the twinge of guilt she was quickly associating with disappointing Henry coming back again to bury itself in her. “Why do you wanna know, kid?”

Henry shrugged again, not even bothering to look at her now. “No reason. Just an idea I had. I thought you might be able to help with it, but whatever. Don’t worry about it. Pinocchio will be here soon and he’ll have some ideas too.”

Lily knew a brush off when she heard one, and Henry was brushing her aside. She wished she could have been surprised, but apparently even kids knew not to associate with her for long, just long enough to try and get what they wanted from her. If ever there was a time to leave, it was now. 

She pushed off the play structure and pocketed the empty sandwich wrapper, almost missing the surprised expression on Henry’s face as he watched her start to walk away. 

“Lily? Where are you going?”

“Nowhere,” She told him, feet carrying her forward hurriedly but heavily.

“You can stay if you want to. I bet he’d love to meet you,” Henry suggested, eyes gleaming with childlike hope. 

“No, Henry, I really can’t.” She wasn’t going to stick around to play babysitter to Henry and his no-longer-wooden buddy. 

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Does it even matter?” She answered; walking away and missing the contemplative and saddened look on Henry’s face. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so there’s a lot going on in this chapter but it needed to happen here. Also, a huge apology for the delay on this story! I meant to get an update out sooner but alas, life. Read/Review/leave a prediction if you’re so inclined.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An uncooperative muse is a surly roommate indeed. 
> 
> Thanks for all the lovely reviews and faves/follows! You’re all sparkling gems of loveliness! I apologize for not responding to everyone’s individual reviews and for the general tardiness of this chapter. The mountains were calling and I needed to answer before my wilderness permits expired. 
> 
> To essentially everyone who reviewed and left a prediction about the mystery biker, the answer is yes. And worry not, a backstory is coming. Because who in this fandom doesn’t love a good backstory?

Walking away from Henry and the evil castle of a playground should have lightened the load in her heart. She wasn’t going to stick around where she wasn’t welcome, and the kid clearly didn’t want her there anymore. Lily ignored the twinge of a voice in the back of her mind that insisted that wasn’t true, just like she ignored the warmth fading from within her. 

The forest was supposed to be her safe spot. Quiet solitude and rustling leaves were better conversationalists than people any day. She never worried that she would be kicked out of the forest, and no animals were going to try and strike up a conversation with her about the weather or judge her for anything. But the encounter with Henry had left her ill at ease, and the dappled sunlight and earthy scent of the forest just didn’t feel quite as welcoming as it had earlier in the day. 

Maybe it would be better if she just went back to Granny’s for the afternoon. 

Mind dejectedly made up, Lily wandered slowly toward the edge of the forest, her feet retracing the path she’d taken before. At one point on her return journey she stepped on a fallen arrow, snapping the shaft in two. She narrowed her eyes at the weapon in suspicion, and lifted her head to see several arrows shallowly stuck in a tree trunk and several more littering the ground in front of it. The realization that she didn’t remember seeing the arrows when she first came into the forest sent a nervous shiver down Lily’s spine and had her pulse quickening. 

In a town that was such a mix of old and semi-modern she should have guessed there would be people who preferred hunting for their dinner instead of picking it up at the supermarket. She worried briefly that the hunters might still be around and mistake her for a deer or some other woodland game (Or worse, they could know about her dragon transformation and decide they wanted to hunt something bigger than a deer just for kicks), but the haphazardness of the arrows on the ground and the cluttering of them in the tree had Lily questioning whether she had stumbled upon a hunting area at all. If anything, the area looked more like a target practice zone for children. The tree-bound arrows weren’t embedded too deeply, and the sheer volume of arrows on the ground in front of them spoke of a lack of strength by the shooter. It had to have been a kid who shot them, and a young one at that. But then where was the kid, and where was the adult who had likely been out with them? 

Deciding it was better to just keep walking instead of risk running into anyone else, Lily shakily moved one foot in front of the other and walked away from the arrows. She curled her arms around herself, hugging herself in lieu of real warmth and comfort, not wanting to rely on the spattering of sunlight that had to fight it’s way through the thick foliage. 

With every step that brought her closer to the forest’s edge, Lily’s thoughts fell deeper and deeper inward as she recalled her morning. Fucking perfect, she thought. She’d gone and screwed up yet another encounter with Emma’s kid. Even her apologies never seemed to stick. She was doomed to mess those up just like she messed up everything else. Was there even a point in trying to apologize, yet again, to Henry, or would that just be another recipe for disaster? There had to be another way to prove to herself that she could stay in Storybrooke and not be chewed out by the locals as more than the usual freak. She wasn’t quite sure why it was so important that she try to stick around, but a flickering deep inside her insisted she could do it. Insisted that sticking around for dragon lessons and maybe to find her father, things she hadn’t even begun to do yet, were just outward excuses for something else. 

She groaned. Shit, dragon lessons. 

She was supposed to meet Maleficent sometime today for training, had even said she’d seek out the older woman herself. But after the way the conversation with Henry had gone and with Lily’s worsening mood she wasn’t sure learning to control an uncontrollable dragon inside her was the best idea right now, if ever. The consequences of her failed conversation with Emma’s kid were minor compared to the potential consequences of a failed dragon lesson. After all, what was a damaged non-existent friendship with a missing friend’s kid compared to a burned and demolished town?

The root came out of nowhere, grabbing Lily’s foot and holding tight. It sent her flying towards the ground and it was only at the last minute that she remembered to throw her arms in front of her before her face met the hard dirt. She landed with a thud, the air pulled from her lungs. Lily stayed unmoving on the ground, groaning at the ache now blooming in her chest and the frustration growing within her. 

Nothing was going right today. Not running into Maleficent at the diner, not her apology to Henry, and now she couldn’t even walk right, could she? If she somehow worked up enough nerve to actually start dragon bitch lady lessons with Maleficent everything would probably go horribly wrong with that too. All Lily wanted right then was to go back to Granny’s and hide for the rest of the day. Nothing could go wrong if she wasn’t around to make it go wrong, but the stupid root and stupid fucking day wouldn’t even let her do that much!

The sound of breaking foliage and muffled voices a ways behind had Lily snapping to attention, her senses buzzing on high alert. The voices came closer and a sense of dread filled her. She couldn’t let anyone see her like this, she realized. So Lily scrambled to her feet, racing to the thick bushes on the side of the path, and dove behind them. Belly flat to the dirt once again, Lily dared to raise her head a few inches to spy on the newcomers. 

Two men came into view from where Lily had been walking only a moment before. One was the size of an ox, thickly built and not to be messed with. The other was more average in size but looked almost twig-like next to the first man. Both men looked worried and exasperated, their eyes darting about the entire forest looking for something. They exchanged a look and more muffled words, gesturing around the path and the forest, before the ox turned off the path into the thicker brush away from Lily, who let out a breath of relief at the larger man’s departure. The twig continued forward, coming closer to Lily and calling out loudly. 

“Where’s he gone to? This in’t funny no more Roland! Where’ve you run off?” The twig finally came close enough for Lily to get a decent look at him. He had an accent, a buzz cut, and a broken bravado to his step. His leather jacket was all at once shield and second skin, and Lily let herself wonder at the life someone had to have lived to want and grow a skin that tough. 

“Roland, your papa’ll have me head if you’re not back to camp soon!” Lily’s eyes narrowed. Whoever this Roland was, he had to be a kid, maybe even a young one. She felt her heart clench at the thought of a kid so young being alone, and the hair-brained notion of secretly trying to find the missing kid flickered through her before she shook her head fiercely and shoved the thoughts aside. No more dealing with kids in the woods, she decided. Hadn’t the failed conversation with Henry been enough for today? What right or reason could she even have to look for a kid she didn’t even know?

The leather twig kept walking down the path, away from Lily’s hiding place as he kept calling for the missing Roland. He eventually walked out of sight beyond the trees and Lily let out a breath, releasing some of the tension from within her. Lily started silently counting to twenty, wanting to be sure there was plenty of distance between her and the searching ox and twig before she started her walk back to town. 

One. Two. Three. It really wasn’t any of her business if there was a missing kid in the woods. Four. Five. Six. Really, it wasn’t. If the ox and twig’s faces were anything to go by, this didn’t seem like the first time Roland had gone missing. Six? Six. Seven. Maybe the kid wanted to run, and if he did, who was she to stop him? A big fucking hypocrite, that’s who. Ten. Eleven. Thirteen. Lily had wanted to run from foster homes plenty of times growing up, and she usually ended up in the woods. It really wasn’t that big of a deal if some kid wanted to run too. 

Twelve. Fourteen. Fifteen.

It really, really wasn’t a big deal. 

She sighed. She wasn’t doing a very good job convincing herself of anything. Or counting. It was almost like she’d taken that high school GED for nothing. 

“What’cha doing?” A small, curious voice piped up from behind her, startling Lily into a gasp. She whipped around to face its source in the form of a little boy bundled up in a man’s jacket and hat, a long bow almost twice his size clutched in his tiny hands. He couldn’t have been more than five years old, if the roundness of his cheeks and wide-eyes were anything to go by. Lily would’ve bet money that this was probably the missing Roland. 

Jesus fucking Christ, the universe had it out for her. 

When Lily didn’t answer right away the small boy asked another innocent question. “Are you hiding?”

“Yeah,” She finally answered, wishing she didn’t feel as pathetic she sounded in that moment. 

But if the kid noticed her distress he didn’t pick up on it, instead, his face lit up childish inspiration. “I’ll hide with you!” He decided, rushing forward and curling into a ball next to her in the bush. Lily stayed frozen in place, still lying flat on the ground, eyes wide in disbelief at the kid who was far too trusting of strangers. 

“Kid, what are you…? This is my spot,” She sputtered weakly.

“No one saw you, so if I hide with you, then Scawett and John won’t find me!” He whispered insistently. 

Lily’s forehead scrunched in confusion. Scawett… Scarlett? Will Scarlett? Was that who the kid was talking about? Unbidden, an image of Errol Flynn’s red-clad companion from the original Robin Hood movie came to Lily and she grimaced. Of course they were real. Robin Hood was apparently soul mates with the Evil Queen, why wouldn’t his band of Merry fucking Men be real too? Complete with ironically-ox-like Little John and twiggy leather-clad Will Scarlett?

“Scawett’s a meanie,” Roland whispered, clutching the bow tighter to him, a bow that Lily realized was broken. The curved lumber and taut string that once made up the weapon were reduced to a broken piece of wood and snapped thread. A thousand thoughts raced through Lily’s head at what could have led to the bow’s breaking, and just how exactly Roland and Will Scarlett were involved that entailed meanness. 

She wasn’t very fond of any of the scenarios her active mind came up with. 

“Is that right?” Lily answered, not expecting a reply but getting one anyway. 

“He got mad at me. And he yelled,” The kid told her, dejected. 

Lily pursed her lips at that. “That is mean. What made him yell like that?”

Roland looked away from her guiltily. “I-I broke papa’s bow,” He managed to stutter before tears took over his eyes and voice. 

“Oh, shit kid, um… Hey, uh…” Lily twisted to sit upright, hands held out uselessly in front of her. She was completely lost and screwed. How the hell was she supposed to stop a kid from balling their eyes out? “Look, kid, I’m sure you didn’t mean to break it. It was an accident, right? Not your fault.”

Roland shook his head. “I-I bwoke it,” He insisted between sniffles. “I was pwacticing sh-shooting and I couldn’t pull the string enough so I…” 

“So you what? I’m not mad kid, I just wanna know what happened.” He’d actually been the one shooting those arrows she saw littering the ground earlier? How the hell had he managed to get any of those arrows to stick in the tree with a bow that was definitely way too big for him?

“I used my feet and it worked,” He said, looking at Lily imploringly. “Then Will came and I-I bwoke it and the stwing snapped and hit me and it hurt.” Roland continued to cry, lips trembling and hands quaking around the broken bow. It was then that Lily noticed the line on the other side of the kid’s neck. A thin, angry red line cut into the surface of the skin, the damning evidence of his engineering incident gone awry. 

“Hey kid, it’s uh, it’s ok. Really. You ju-oof!” Roland threw himself face first into Lily’s stomach, burrowing closer to her as he continued to cry quietly. 

Lily stared at the kid in wonder and disbelief. Why the fuck did this kid think hugging her would be a good idea? Lily herself wasn’t a good idea. Nothing good happened around her, and nothing good would happen to a kid like Roland being around her. The dark cold surged inside her, decidedly uncomfortable with the blatant affection and familiar gesture from the kid. It twisted and writhed in confusion, not knowing how to treat the child in front of her. Should she be worried that this was all some kind of trick? But then what five-year-old could come up with something so elaborate? Was it a trap by the ox and twig? Maybe, but it would have been hard to fake the concern on their faces and in their voices at Roland’s disappearance. If by some miracle there was no hidden agenda in the kid’s misplaced trust in her, then how was she supposed to act? Should she push him off, or let him stay? Was she supposed to find his campmates?

As she fought with her instincts and prior experience the glimmer of light and heat inside her, the one that reared its ugly head whenever Henry was around, the one that insisted talking with the kid was a good idea, that glimmer started growing. It whispered to her that Roland trusted her (A terrible decision for anyone really, but even worse for a kid.) and that he needed comfort. 

Lily dropped a hand onto the kid’s head, patting the hat-covered curls uselessly. “Uh, there, there. Don’t cry…” She didn’t know what else to do. What else could she do anyway? Let the kid cry more? Try and get him to talk it out? Lily didn’t have any real experience with moments like this one, on either end of the equation. What could she possibly do not to screw this up too? 

In the end she let the annoying warm glimmer stop her from pushing Roland away, letting the kid lay in a tired heap on her lap. She didn’t know how long he lay there, but he stopped crying pretty quickly, considering the throat clenching sobs he had been letting out before. 

“Doing ok there?” She asked quietly. She knew better than to ask if he was feeling better. She never felt better after crying, why would he?

Roland nodded slowly, head still curled into her but no longer crying. 

“Why were you trying so hard to shoot your dad’s bow anyway? That thing’s huge. I’m probably too small for it,” She asked, looking to break the silence. 

His reply was muffled against her shirt. “I’m no good. Papa’s amazing and I’m no good.” 

At least if you’re no good it’s cute kid, Lily thought. If she failed at dragon training there’d likely be a burned town and hell to pay. 

“I think you’re allowed to not be very good at this stage of the game kid,” Lily tried to reason with him. “Your dad’s probably had a lot more time to practice and get good than you have. That’s not your fault.”

Roland pulled back abruptly, sitting up and looking at Lily intently. His eyes were puffy and his small face was screwed in concentration. Finally he nodded slowly, as if coming to some great epiphany. “You’re warm. You’ll be a good dragon. You should stay,” He said sagely, as if the whim of a five-year-old could affect fate. 

She stared at him in confusion and muted horror at the surety of his statement. But Lily didn’t have time to wonder how the kid could possibly know that she had turned into a dragon before, because she felt a prickling along the back of her neck. The sensation shot awareness through her like a bolt of lightning and just as quickly she was tensed and alert, almost ready to act, but not ready enough when an accented voice popped into existence next to them. 

“Aha! Found you, you tricky little hobbit!” Lily recognized the twig’s, Will Scarlett’s, voice from before, and despite the relief in it, it immediately put her on edge. She curled in on herself, unconsciously pulling Roland closer to her. Roland huffed in disappointment, unhappy to have been found, and crossed his arms stubbornly, still holding the broken bow in his small hands. “Now let’s go back to camp lad.”

“No!” Roland cried, shaking his head in defiance and refusing to look at the man.

“What’cha mean ‘no’? You know it’s not safe to be out alone. It’ll be getting dark soon, we should head back for supper and bed,” Will tried to reason with the kid. It worked about as well as yelling at a TV. 

“Smaug was with me and we were talking,” Roland insisted. 

“Smaug? Roland you know that’s just a story…” Will Scarlett’s eyes finally met Lily’s and she watched in resignation as he connected the dots to her identity and her fiery, definitely not child proof, alter ego. The change in the man’s demeanor was instantaneous, even as Lily recognized the calm he was trying to maintain in front of the kid. “Roland, why don’t you, uh, say goodbye to Smaug and we’ll just, er, head back to camp with everyone else while we wait for your papa, yeah?”

But the boy shook his head even harder, actually moving closer to Lily. “No! I like Smaug!” Now Lily was just confused. Who in their right mind actually liked her? 

“Look, kid, you should go with your friend. He’s just taking care of you,” She told him, voice less sure sounding than she wanted it to be. She may not know this Will Scarlett well, but she was pretty sure he genuinely cared about the kid. Having Roland go with him would be a lot safer than if Roland stayed near her. 

Scarlett’s eyes narrowed at Lily in thought, flicking between her and Roland as he contemplated something. Whatever it was he was thinking about, he decided it quickly and the tension seemed to float off of him. He moved toward the pair in movements that Lily thought were too casual to be anything but a trick, and knelt in front of them almost close enough to touch. He looked the boy in the eye and spoke with a sincerity that Lily knew in her heart was genuine, but that experience tried to tell her was a trick. 

“Roland, I’m sorry for yelling. I didn’t mean to get mad. I just saw you playing with the bow like that, and using yourself as a bloody human slingshot and… And you got hurt, and that scared me. We can try to fix your dad’s bow; maybe even find you one for yourself that’ll fit better. Whaddya say lad? Am I forgiven for going off me rocker?” He looked Roland in the eye the entire time he spoke, actually managing to hold the kid’s gaze. 

Roland chewed on his lip nervously and clutched the bow even tighter, leaning just a little closer to Lily. He stared Will down with a surprising intensity for several long moments before he seemed to break. Lily thought the kid might start crying again, given the tears that were now welling up in his eyes, as he rushed forward to the kneeling man. Roland threw the broken bow and his arms around Will’s shoulders and buried his face in the man’s neck. “You gave us a fright, lad. Please don’t run off like that again,” Will breathed in relief. 

“I won’t. I’m sowwy Will.”

“S’alright lad.”

It was another sitcom drama scene, a family reunited and mending broken bonds, and Lily felt the familiar curl of darkness shudder inside her. She shifted uncomfortably in the dirt, fingers grasping the earth beneath her in an attempt to do something, anything, besides look at the blissful live action drama unfolding in front of her. 

Will Scarlett lifted his eyes to meet her gaze, his stare contemplative for a moment as he decided something else. He seemed to be doing that a lot, at least with her, staring off before talking. Lily wondered if he’d ever had problems controlling his head to mouth filter, and if this was his new way of coping. 

He shot out a hand in front him. “Will Scarlett, and this lad, if he didn’t remember to introduce himself proper, is Roland Locksley.” 

Lily stared at the offered hand, twisting her lip in annoyance at yet another handshake. “I know who you are. I figured that out already,” She told him dully. 

Will rolled his eyes, letting her dismissal roll off him easily, hand still hanging between them. “An’ I’ve not been under a rock the past few weeks, lass. I know full well who you are and who your mum is. It’s not about putting names to handsome faces like mine, it’s about using manners in front o’ the lad. Besides, it’s not like you’ve really done wrong.” 

She hadn’t done anything right either, Lily thought as she shrank back, sheepish and frustrated with herself for how quick she was to assume the worst. “I’m Lily,” She finally replied, shaking his hand begrudgingly and guiltily. “Lily Page.”

“Good to meet ya, Lily Page.” Will wound his hand back around Roland, whose face was still buried in his neck. 

Lily’s curiosity got the better of her and she gestured helplessly at Roland and the broken bow. “So, what exactly…?”

“What happened? Ah. Well, Roland was sittin’ on the ground, feet braced on the limbs of the bow, hands on the bowstring, and using his body like a bloody slingshot and crossbow while he tried firin’ arrows at the tree,” Will started to tell her. “I yell for ‘im to stop, and what happened then? The bow snapped. Right then and there, it snapped clean. The wood shattered, the bowstring flew back and hit Roland in the neck, and I lost it. Lost hold of me temper and yelled at the little hobbit for putting himself in danger like that.” He looked guilty as he spoke, and ran a soothing hand along the kid’s back, but whether that hand was meant to soothe the kid or him, Lily couldn’t say for sure. 

Roland burrowed his face further into Will’s shoulder and clenched his arms tighter around him. “Not a ‘obbit,” He insisted weakly, leading Will to chuckle just a little at the claim. 

“Oh yes you are, little lad. You go ‘round barefoot all the time, not to mention your feet’ll probably be covered in hair when you get older. You’re a regular Halfling,” Will told him. Roland grumbled something into Will’s shoulder and the man smiled gently before turning to face Lily again. “Regina and his dad’ve been reading to him. The Hobbit’s one of his favorites right now. He’s absolutely mad about it,” Scarlett informed her, still holding Roland tightly to him. 

“That’s why he called me Smaug,” Lily realized. It wasn’t exactly an ego boost to be compared to a creature described as a greedy and selfish worm, but the kid had made a connection between two dragons and for some reason he didn’t seem to hate her. A flicker of warmth tingled inside her and Lily decided maybe that flicker wasn’t so bad. Hell, maybe she kinda liked that flicker after all. 

“The villainous dragon? Yeah. It’s his favorite part of the story. Not sure why though. I think her majesty might do a wicked dragon voice when she reads it to him. But no matter, Roland here loves that dragon. Don’t ya mate? Don’t ya?” Will started tickling the kid, sending the child into a round of uproarious laughter and lifting Roland’s mood. 

“Scawett no! No tickling!” Roland managed to say between fits of laughter. 

Soon Will was laughing with him, and Lily had to fight the smile that threatened to turn her mouth upwards. What was that thing about laughs being contagious like yawns? “Alright, alright. I’ll stop. But yeah, whenever Smaug the Magnificent comes up in the story this little hobbit gets all sorts of riled up and putting ‘im to bed gets to be a real challenge. And speaking of beds, we oughtta get you to yours lad.” Will stood up smoothly from his knees, still cradling Roland and the broken bow in his arms. 

“Smaug come visit soon, pwease?” Roland asked, eyes pleading and mouth pouting cutely. 

To say Lily was surprised by the request would have been an understatement. “Oh, I don’t think…”

“He’s right, Lily. You should,” Will interrupted, surprising Lily.

She looked at the twig curiously, thrown off by the man’s lack of distrust. She didn’t think she’d really done anything to earn anyone’s trust, so why was he telling her to visit the kid? “Why would you… I mean, why…?”

Will shrugged. “Kids’re ‘onest lass. Well, kids an’ animals. Roland sees some good in you an’ I’m liable to believe the lad. Plus, I trust you wouldn’t try to purposefully hurt ‘im.”

His words shot through Lily almost painfully, wrapping her heart in heat and stealing her breath. But she didn’t mind the sensation, not when it was accompanied by almost fuzzy warmth surrounding her in a blanket she could float on. She wondered if the magic carpet from Aladdin was real too and if this was what it felt like to fly on one. Like weightlessness and surety and faith. She couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. Someone actually trusted her? Someone she didn’t know and didn’t have to buy off with favors actually believed she wouldn’t go off like a gun at the slightest touch? 

Will apparently didn’t know how to take her extended silence, and fidgeted on his feet for a moment. “It don’t have to be tonight, but soon, yeah? Robin and the rest would love to meet’cha. Just stop by whenever.” 

“Uh, yeah, sure I guess I could, uh… Yeah,” Lily managed to stutter out, her mind still trying to catch up with the turn of events. 

Will smiled and started to turn away before stopping mid-step and turning back to Lily; a look of what Lily thought was supposed to be concern on his face. “I meant what I said to Roland before. It’s dangerous in these woods alone. So unless you’re coming back to camp with us now you’d best get on lass.” 

“What, is some big bad wolf gonna eat me? He’s gonna have his paws full, don’t you think?” Lily managed to laugh. 

Will laughed too, but it came out sarcastic and knowing. “You mean ‘she’, lass. ‘She’ won’t have a problem eating you if you sass her like that.” With another laugh he turned around and walked away, Roland tucked safely in his arms. 

Roland lifted his small head enough to smile at Lily, waving to her. “Bye-bye Smaug. See you later.”

She watched them walk away, further and further into the dense trees, a swirl of something growing inside her. There was the usual cold and dark that she felt whenever people left, even people who had places to be like the kid and Will Scarlett, but there was also that flicker of warmth that Henry’s incessant questioning and Roland and Will’s ridiculous trust had sparked in her. The warmth miraculously wasn’t leaving like it normally did. If anything, it was growing just a little. 

Lily’s hands were clenched in the ground again, the dirt stuck under her nails by now, and she slowly uncurled her fists. Will Scarlett was probably right; she really should get back to town. Maybe she’d swipe some food from Granny’s kitchen in an unpaid grocery run; it wasn’t like the old woman would notice. 

More voices in the distance, too muffled to make out, had her staying still though. Just because things hadn’t gone to shit during her encounter with Roland and one of the Merry Men, that didn’t mean she was willing to push her luck elsewhere. If she stayed hidden, nothing could go wrong. The voices came closer, and Lily started to recognize one of them as Henry. She flopped down flat on the ground, hiding herself and blocking her own view of the on-comers. Now she definitely couldn’t show herself. If Henry really didn’t want to see her, then she wouldn’t make him see her. 

“It’s gotta be a clue! She told me she was in New York at the same time as us, and Mom said she used to live in Boston near her old place. Plus my moms found her just a few miles from Storybrooke. I’d bet money she was even near Phoenix thirteen years ago when mom was there. It’s not a coincidence,” Henry insisted to someone. The kid seriously needed to work on his maternal pronouns, Lily thought with a roll of her eyes. Her annoyance with Henry’s word choice was quickly outweighed though, by the sinking feeling in her gut that he was talking about her. But what the hell did her old living situations have to do with anything, and why was Emma’s kid still so hung up on it? And who was he talking to, his buddy Pinocchio?

“You’re right Henry, that can’t be coincidence. You said she was even at the same island castle as Emma in Isaac’s twisted story. We just have to figure out what it all means.” A chill went through Lily, clenching her heart and stealing her breath all over again, but instead of the comforting warmth from before, a frozen wave of fear and anger and hurt washed over her, sobering her from her previous elation. More than ten years may have passed since she’d last heard it, but she would never forget the timbre of his voice and how it always sent her heart racing. The pounding heartbeat in her ears told her that was still the case, and she silently cursed herself for letting that voice continue to hold power over her after what he’d done. 

How the fuck was he even here? Of all the places in the world for her to ever have the cursed misfortune of seeing him again it had to be here in magical bumblefuck, didn’t it? And if he was here, that meant he was one of them, one of the fairy tale characters. But which one? She had started to realize that not everyone in Storybrooke had a story that went with their life, so would she even recognize his real name if he said it? A thought came to Lily then and she blanched. If Henry said he was meeting his friend Pinocchio earlier, then that meant… 

Fuck. 

August W. Booth, her lying ex, was actually a no-longer-wooden fairy tale puppet incapable of lying.

Fuck her life. 

Suddenly all of Lily’s teenaged memories of morning wood held an entirely different meaning. 

“Hey, speaking of…” August started, and Lily felt herself shudder. “You saw Lily earlier today, didn’t you? Is she doing ok?”

“Pretty ok. I think. She looked tired when Killian and I saw her last night. I think she’s kinda lonely and overwhelmed. She doesn’t really know anyone here and Storybrooke’s a lot to take in if you’re new.” 

“Or if you just found out you’re a dragon,” August pointed out dimly. 

The pair was close to her hiding spot; their voices clear and louder than Lily wanted them to be. Her already pounding heart went into overdrive. 

“You knew her before, didn’t you?” Henry challenged. “Why don’t you talk with her? She might like a familiar face.”

She heard feet shuffling, and could practically see August’s nervous gesture as if she were staring right at him, but she didn’t dare move. It was bad enough she had to hear his voice again but she didn’t think she could handle actually seeing him in person. “Trust me when I say that I’m probably one of the last people she ever wants to see again. We didn’t exactly part on good terms, if any.” 

“But you’re hoping to see her again, right?” Fuck, the kid’s voice sounded so fucking chipper and optimistic. He didn’t understand, he was just a kid and probably had no idea what a broken heart felt like. What it felt like to wake up alone and cold at night after months of waking up to a man that was sunshine incarnate. Or what it felt like to carry that cold inside everyday for years, knowing nothing would ever feel warm again, but still hoping, dumbly and naively, that the sun would walk through the door and shine again. 

It had taken her a few years after he was gone, but Lily had finally realized that hope really was overrated. 

“You know, that’s always been a problem for me Henry. I hope too much, but I’m too scared to want to actually do anything about it till it’s too late.” He was so resigned as he spoke, and the sound of defeat in his voice pulled at something deep inside her. Something she refused to acknowledge. 

“Maybe this time, don’t let it be too late?” Henry reasoned with all the wisdom and hope of child. 

“We’ll see kid. We’ll see.”

When their voices finally faded away Lily was left alone just like she always was, alone with her swirling thoughts and the now silent forest around her. The silence was deafening and only made her thoughts louder as they buzzed in her head. Her mind replayed everything August had said, not paying attention to the actual words but treacherously just trying to focus on his voice, re-committing every syllable and inflection to memory. It had changed surprisingly little over the years, still the same deep timbre as she remembered, but it sounded tired and resigned. The man she once knew was bright and hopeful to the extreme, weaving elaborate tales and bullshit stories over late night diner food and stolen beer. 

She didn’t know what to do about the speck of thoughts that wondered what happened to him since they’d seen each other. Just like she didn’t know what to do now that her revenge had failed and she was lost in a forest of fairy tales and magic. 

Lily didn’t know what to do, so she settled for what she did best. She ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, read and review!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let it be known that this chapter was 80% written before the previous chapter was even started. The muse wants what it wants, it seems. 
> 
> Thanks again for all the kind words and support!
> 
> Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it’s not mine.

It was her stomach’s continued insistence for food that finally woke Lily for good, pulling her treacherously upright from the bed, but it was the calendar on her phone, quietly telling her she’d been locked up in her room for two solid days, that had her flopping back down onto the creaky mattress. At least this time she’d fallen asleep in a bed, Lily reasoned, eyes bleary in the morning light. Sleep had been restless and slow coming, if mostly non-existent, the previous nights, the sandman only pulling her under for a few hours before she was woken by a twisting and wrenching sensation in her heart that gnawed and cut her all at once. 

She knew her sleepless nights weren’t just because of the nightmare she’d had, one where her skin glittered ominously in the dark and she held a man’s beating heart in her hands (Although that chilling imagery probably hadn’t helped much). Lily rolled over onto her side, the bed creaking underneath her as she lay under the flimsy covers. Her eyes fell on several jagged rips in the sheets next to her that reminded her suspiciously of claws, and she felt a curl of panic and frustration rise inside her. 

Fan-fucking-tastic, she thought. She was transforming in her sleep. Soon she wouldn’t even be allowed to have nightmares safely. She clenched her fists, expecting to feel talons digging into her palms like knives, but instead was met with the blunt edges of her recently trimmed nails. Lily let out the faintest sighs of wary relief at the feeling. 

The lack of sleep had to be because of him. 

The ex-puppet, ex-boyfriend, and ex-wooden, August W. fucking Booth. 

What was he even doing in Storybrooke, anyway? And how could he have ever been out in the real world instead of locked in the curse like everyone else? As far as Lily had been led to believe by the apprentice, she and Emma were the only ones from the Enchanted Forest to live outside Storybrooke. So had the apprentice lied to her? It wouldn’t be surprising; Lily had been lied to all her life, why would a weird old man do any different? Even if he had been right about who was responsible for her growing up an orphan. And besides, it didn’t change the facts of what August did when she and him were together all those years ago. 

There was a faint tug on her heart as she thought of him. The tug threatened to overtake the warm speck emblazoned by Roland and Will Scarlett’s crazy trust in her, and Lily tried unsuccessfully to ignore it. 

She didn’t honestly remember much after the fateful not-meeting with her ex only days before. Only that she had run through the woods, legs on autopilot as she went barreling through the trees and thick underbrush instead of on the path, until she burst free of the forest and reached an alleyway off the main street of town wheezing and doubled over. Her thoughts were a vivid and terrible daze, a violent onslaught of memories piercing through her mind and her heart, forcing her to relive each heartache, every sleepless night, and every lie. 

She must have gotten her breath back at some point, because she vaguely recalled wandering around the town at twilight, lost and dazed and ducking her head from view of the locals. There was probably even a meal or two in there somewhere; She remembered stopping by the diner’s back storeroom for an unpaid grocery run, and maybe even watching some mindless TV in her room at Granny’s before collapsing under the covers in a foggy stupor still wearing her clothes from the day. 

A dim voice in the back of her mind chimed in to remind Lily she had skipped meeting with Maleficent, and she groaned, eyes clenching shut in guilt and annoyance and further blocking the sight of claw-torn sheets. 

It seemed like she was doomed to at least one or two guilt-inducing encounters per day since arriving in Storybrooke, if not traumatic revelations too. If it wasn’t to do with skipping dragon lessons with Maleficent, then it was about the stupid motherly complex Lily seemed to be developing over Emma’s kid and Roland, or the cursed almost-encounter with her lying ex. The whole thing was ridiculous and Lily wanted nothing more than to be done with it all, just like she wanted to be done with the constant darkness and numbness that had followed her for a lifetime, chasing her as she ran nowhere. 

She sighed in defeat and pulled herself upright from the bed. Reaching for one of the absconded diner apples from her bag of stolen goods, Lily considered her choice of breakfast and then considered her options for the day. The woods were definitely out, adorable hobbits aside. Lily mentally added them just above the docks on her growing list of ‘Storybrooke places to avoid.’ She supposed the library was an option, especially if she wanted to avoid more awkward interactions with fairy tale characters or their kids. Plus, the books and ancient texts inside would give her a chance to finally look into the identity of her father. Even if that were probably a hopeless search, it would give her something to focus on other than the cold, the confusion, and her utter and complete failure at revenge. 

Revenge had been her priority for so many years that she wasn’t honestly sure what to do with herself since she had failed. Another search for answers was the next logical step, wasn’t it?

The muffled sounds of early morning diner patrons filtered through the thin wooden floor, signaling the restaurant’s crowdedness and filling the room with unfamiliar warmth that prickled Lily’s skin. Walking through the diner when it was so obviously busy was not an option right now. She could wait it out until it quieted down, hiding out in her cave of a room and hoarding back-stored food until she could sneak out to hide in another cavernous room while hoarding books and avoiding everyone that could hurt her. 

God, it sounded so pathetic in her head. Was that really what she had come to, running and hiding and just shutting out the world at large like a hermit? Lily had never been a very social person. Close encounters with people never led to anything good; She had learned that again and again every time she tried to open herself up. Sure, she could interact with people and use them as needed, but the meaningful, get-to-know-you talks that Storybrooke had presented her with during her stay were anything but impersonal and they cut into Lily in such a way that she wasn’t sure she would heal quite the same as before. 

What was scarier was the growing flicker in the back of Lily’s mind that whispered maybe changing wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world? It was the same iota of brain space that Lily now associated with thoughts concerning Emma’s kid and her own conflicted feelings about Maleficent. 

Just why the hell did that speck even stick around anyway? 

A muffled knock on her door echoed through the room, overpowering the sounds of life downstairs and setting Lily on high alert. 

“Lily? Lass, are you in there?” Shit, it was the pirate. 

She said nothing, naively hoping to wait the man out until he left so she could avoid what would surely be an awkward encounter for all. Lily paused at that. Why was she still trying to hide? She wasn’t the best excuse for a human being but Lily Page was sure as shit better than this. She was cautious and reserved, not cowardly, and she wasn’t about to turn into a fucking pushover because her kinda-friend’s one-handed pirate boyfriend came knocking. No, she wouldn’t let herself hide anymore. She was her own person and apparently a dragon to boot. And in what world or realm did a dragon ever sit and hide?

Resolve strengthened, Lily sat up straighter with her shoulders back, chin up, and half eaten apple in hand, ready to either throw the door open and tell the pirate off for knocking so early or scare him into thinking she was going to turn into a dragon right there and spew fire. She hadn’t decided which. 

“Lass, I’ve a need to search your quarters. There might be dust in there.”

“Dust?” Lily said, incredulous and her gusto deflating just a little. Jones had come for an unannounced visit over some dirty furniture?

“Aye, dust,” Came the pirate’s impatient reply.

“The fuck? This isn’t the Hilton but it’s not a pigsty either. What do a few dust bunnies have to do with anything?” She answered, grateful that her voice carried more confidence than she felt at the moment. 

“Bloody hell, no, not that sort of-” There was a heavy sigh and then silence. “May I please come in?”

Lily gave herself credit for only hesitating a moment before rising to open the door, where she was met with a partly disheveled pirate. His dark hair was askew and there were still bags under his eyes, but he was otherwise sober-smelling. “So if this isn’t about my room not being up to inspection standards, then what is it about Jones?”

“Tinkerbelle,” He replied, as if a pixie’s name could answer everything. Lily hadn’t even considered that the green Neverland pixie would be somewhere in town, but if Hook was alive and kicking then there was no reason to think she wouldn’t be too. 

“What?” Lily continued to stand in the doorway, blocking Jones’ entrance even as his eyes darted about the room frantically searching.

Hook didn’t miss a beat in answering. “She has stickier fingers than people realize. Granted, you don’t survive Neverland without them, so don’t take it too personally if you find yourself missing things in her presence every so often. It’s mostly harmless, although she cost me more than a bottle or two of rum back in the day.” 

“And I care about some klepto-pixie why?”

“This room is one of her hiding places. Whenever she pilfers things she tends to hide them in very specific places for later use. In Neverland I knew where a number of her reserves were kept hidden from the Lost Boys, and since her arrival in Storybrooke I’ve made sure to keep tabs on them here as well.” 

“And you think she left dust in here? So she’s not a neat freak, what’s it matter if there’s a little dust on the floor?”

“Bloody fucking hell, fairy dust, lass. We’re hoping to find some fairy dust. Maybe even pixie dust if we’re lucky. Now may I please enter and search? Time is rather of the essence,” He insisted, fiery blue eyes meeting hers in a wide and pleading stare. 

Lily finally stepped aside and let the man rush in. Jones moved in a methodical flourish, hand running and knocking along the wall looking for something, and smiling brightly when his hand made an echoing sound against one board. He twisted the board aside and pulled several small items from the wall. Flashlights and gold coins and several plastic bottles full of water were tossed to the bed in frustration, before he replaced them all in the hiding spot and slid the board back into place. He then began stepping lightly on the floor, listening to the wood creak and groan with a careful ear. Lily watched curiously as Jones found a loose board on the floor and pulled this one aside too, the space beneath revealing several necklaces and small canvas bags which he eagerly pilfered through, only to growl in anger when he was met with a disappointing cache of dollar store toys. Jones looked frazzled as he searched, hand rubbing anxiously over his unshaved chin and muttering quietly in a string of curses that surely gave all pirates their reputations as note-worthy cursers. 

“Lass, are you certain you’ve not seen anything at all that might resemble fairy dust?” He asked wearily, his eyes still darting around the room searching in vain for something that wouldn’t be there. 

“I don’t know. What does this stuff even look like?”

“Inconspicuous, usually, unless imbibed with further magic, then it tends to glitter…”

Lily huffed. “Well how the hell should I know if one pile of normal looking dust is any more magical than another? I don’t have magic!”

“You can transform into a bloody dragon, does that not require magic?”

“How the fuck should I know? Last time, I got angry and then I got scaly! Where’s the magic in that?” 

Jones looked unconvinced but didn’t respond. He instead turned to the door to call out, “Ruby! Have you finished searching the hall spots?”

“Yeah, be right there Jones! Just let me re-hang this painting,” A vibrant woman’s voice called out from the hallway. 

Lily felt herself blanch. Someone else was coming in now? What was this, social hour? She was trying to be less of a shut-in but didn’t this count as too much too soon?

“It’s hardly a masterpiece to curate, lass, just hang the damn thing on its bloody nail and be done with it,” Jones snapped at the air. 

“Relax Jones, Regina still needs like twenty other ingredients for this spell, and she and Belle probably have half the town searching for everything by now, like that map and the water and all that stuff. We’re not gonna be the last ones back.” The owner of the voice turned the corner into the room and Lily was met with a statuesque brunette made of legs. The woman brushed past Lily hurriedly, sniffling her nose and darting around the whole room with all the precision and grace of a dancer (Ruby the diner waitress, Lily remembered, wrinkling her own nose in indignation at the woman’s apparent need to sniff her room as she searched). Ruby’s skintight jeans and shirt left little to the imagination and her red streaked hair was pulled back from her face, sharpening her already angular features into a look that was less dancer-like and more predatory. 

“Besides, that ‘thing’ used to hang in King Midas’s castle but Abigail said we could keep it here to give the diner some class,” Ruby said, before whirling around on the pirate and shaking an accusing and threatening finger at the man. “And don’t you even think of any wisecracks about the diner and class. We’ll start selling ‘special’ meat pies and everyone’ll know where we got the meat and why it tastes like rum.” 

The pirate seemed unperturbed by the ferocity of the woman’s voice or her threat of bodily harm, and quirked an eyebrow at her. “Wouldn’t dream of it, lass. Granny’s pies and fried onions and frozen cheese blocks are the envy of the town. Truly there is no classier establishment. Don’t you agree Lily? In all your years of travel have your taste buds ever experienced something so truly unique as Granny’s lasagna?” 

Lily flinched and shrank inwardly, desperately wishing the pirate hadn’t called attention to her. It was only then that the other woman seemed to even acknowledge her presence, ignoring Jones’ stab at the diner food. “You’re Lily, right? Emma’s friend,” She asked, hand offered up in greeting (There really was no end to the handshakes in this town, Lily thought). Lily tried not to tense at yet another person referring to her as Emma’s friend. “I’m Ruby.”

Ruby. The name wasn’t so familiar that Lily could place the woman into a particular fairytale, and she couldn’t recall seeing the woman in Henry’s book the day before, unless she had just missed her presence all together. Lily had gotten into the habit of placing the people she met into their stories, trying to put herself on more even ground with a populous that already seemed to know all about her thanks to her connection with Emma. Some people were easier to identify than others, like the one-handed Jones as Captain Hook and Mr. Gold as Rumplestiltskin. Others took a little longer, like Cinderella, whose Storybrooke life included being named Ashley and teaching Mommy and Me classes, among other things. 

The offered hand still hung in the air between them and Lily quickly reached for it when she realized it had been hanging longer than was probably polite. “Yeah, Lily,” She replied in a rush. 

“Food preferences aside, I’m guessing Killian already asked if you’ve seen fairy dust around?” Ruby asked. 

“Dust that doesn’t look like anything unless it has magic running through it? Yeah, who could miss that?” Lily deadpanned. 

Ruby chuckled. “I know it’s not a helpful description and I don’t know the extent of your magic but I just thought that-” 

“For the last time, I don’t have magic!” Lily snapped. 

Ruby looked taken aback at Lily’s rush to anger, recoiling slightly. “I just thought since your Maleficent’s kid that you might have magic too. I didn’t mean-” 

“Well I don’t, ok?”

Killian stepped forward. “Magic or not, we could certainly use your help if you’re willing to give it.” 

Ruby nodded enthusiastically at the suggestion. “Yeah, why don’t you come with us while we search, Lily? Another set of eyes would definitely help and we’ve got a bunch of other ingredients to find for this spell.”

Lily’s eyes flitted between the two in disbelief. They didn’t know what they were asking. No one actually wanted her help; they just wanted something from her. And if they didn’t, then no good would come from her being near them. The incident with Roland had been a sweet, once in a lifetime sort of experience, but August’s arrival almost immediately after had shown Lily once again that she wasn’t allowed to have nice things, not even nice moments. Most people waited for bad things to happen to them, but not Lily. She didn’t have to wait for the other shoe to drop; it always fell for her. And this particular dropped shoe was a blow to her heart and soul that left Lily apparently incapacitated for several days. “You really don’t want my help.” Lily shook her head in denial. 

“Lass, of course we want your help. I told you, you’re Emma’s friend and therefore our friend. And frankly we could use all the help we could get in finding her.” 

Lily snorted at that. “So I’m a last resort.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Jones replied, irritation and a rising temper clear in his voice. 

“Killian, hey,” Ruby interrupted him sharply, shooting him a severe look that had the pirate grunting in frustration and turning his gaze to the side. She turned deceptively softer eyes onto Lily, and Lily got the distinct impression the other woman was disappointed in her, a feeling that shot through her in a familiar and dulled stab. “Look, Lily, if you honestly don’t want to help us, then whatever. We’ll just get out of your hair. See you around. Come on Killian, let’s check the other spots.”

The pair walked out of the room with their shoulders dropped, their heads low, and their quest unsuccessful. Lily wanted to let out the breath she was still holding, wanted to lower her own shoulders in relief at their departure, but found she couldn’t, because she didn’t feel relief. She felt alone. Again. 

Hadn’t she wanted to be brave today? Hadn’t she wanted to prove to herself that she wasn’t such a fucking hermit or coward? When Jones and Ruby had shown up at her doorstep asking her to essentially rejoin the world she hadn’t taken them up on it. Instead, she shoved them back and said no way, never ever, and they let her. They let her shove and push and let her run from the world she so desperately wanted to join. 

Now that they were gone the room felt too big, too quiet without their loudness and energy filling the space. It wasn’t a safe cave anymore; it was a prison of her own making. The curl of darkness in her purred at the notion of continued solitude, and the cold washed over her and settled like it always did. Lily could practically see the darkness strutting around like a self-important cat, full of itself and wanting to be waited on like the master of the house. The image shifted something inside her, pulling at the faintest speck of heat that remained and Lily wondered at it. 

The apple in her hand was mostly eaten, the browning core all that remained. Lily stared at the fruit for several moments in thought. She was letting herself rot, she realized. She was letting herself fall prey to the darkness that she was supposed to be master of, and it was rotting her and consuming her from the inside out. Every time she let the cold come over her it pulled her away from what she wanted, whatever that was. Hell, the cold didn’t even have to do much pulling anymore; Lily was doing a damn good job of running away all on her own. After years of growing up with the cold and dark reminding her of everyone’s treachery and inevitable betrayal she had, at some point, internalized it all, becoming the voice of her own pain. The darkness didn’t have to fight to keep her because it already had her. 

Some silently rebellious part of her fought this idea. It didn’t have her, it cried desperately, it’s fading warmth flickering dangerously dim. The darkness didn’t have her so long as there was hope. 

Lily snorted out loud at that. Hadn’t she learned hope was overrated? Hope meant that she had something to look forward to, something to fight for. Lily couldn’t think of much worth fighting for at that moment. 

Then why stay in Storybrooke at all, the flicker whispered. Revenge was a bust, why hadn’t she left town and run again, if that was really what she wanted? Surely something else must have made her want to stick around? She must have hoped for something?

Lily somehow knew the flicker was right, that she was still in Storybrooke for some reason beyond revenge. But whatever it was she refused to see it. Maybe she was too scared to see it, to hope that there was something in her cursed existence worth staying somewhere for. Or maybe she was scared that there wouldn’t be a reason at all, and then she would inevitably get hurt again. 

She shook her head at that last thought. No, she couldn’t let herself think like that. If she wanted to take her life back from the darkness, then she was going to have to do what the darkness didn’t want her to do. It wanted her to hide herself away and shove the world aside? Then she was going to have to start letting people see her for her, not as Emma Swan’s wayward friend or Maleficent’s missing daughter. She was going to have to show people the real Lily Page. 

The very idea of people really seeing her terrified Lily to her core and the darkness screamed at her to stay right where she was unless she wanted to get hurt again. She did her best to ignore the heavy blanket of cold that started to wrap around her, trying to suffocate her into obedience. Instead, she tried to focus on that stubborn warm flicker. The one that wouldn’t shut up no matter how much she ignored it and pushed it aside in favor of the familiar cold. She could have imagined it, but the longer she focused on that flicker the warmer it seemed to get, even if it was still just a tiny speck of nothing. 

It wouldn’t be all at once, she reasoned, but she was sure that little by little she could at least try and make a change. Roland trusted her, for some reason. Maybe she could start there, at the Merry Men’s camp. Somehow, opening up to the kid didn’t seem quite as scary as anyone else. All she had to do was take it one step at a time. 

And the first step was leaving her room. 

She tossed the apple in the garbage, grabbed her jacket, boots, and room key, and walked slowly out the door. Lily glanced nervously down the hallway, finding it blessedly empty, and made her way down the stairs and out the back door of Granny’s. The late morning air was cold compared to her room, but not as cold as the darkness she was currently running from. All the same, when a light wind rolled through she shivered at the feel of it on her skin, pulling her jacket tighter around her. 

Lily took a breath of the crisp air, feeling more frighteningly vulnerable in that moment than she had in a long time. 

“Step by step,” She reminded herself out loud. The words helped her move one foot in front of the other, albeit very slowly, but forward nonetheless. With every moment that passed she moved further down the street, her head ducked so she wouldn’t have to face the rest of the citizenry of Storybrooke as she walked toward the forest. When the darkness started to gain a hold of her again she reminded herself that Will Scarlett said to stop by whenever and that Roland wanted her to visit. It was enough to keep her going. 

As she neared the edge of town Lily dared to lift her head, and was met with the sight of Maleficent and the Evil Queen walking down the sidewalk straight toward her. Lily panicked for a moment, her stride stopping at once. She’d missed dragon lessons and had been essentially gone without word for two days. What did Maleficent think of her now? Had Lily already fucked up as a daughter before any family time could even start? She must have, what else was Maleficent supposed to think except that her daughter didn’t want anything to do with her?

And there was the darkness again, urging her back, and trying to tug her inwards toward the cold. Trying to convince her that everything would go wrong if it hadn’t already, and that she should really save herself the trouble and go back to the room where she could be left alone. 

The flicker was back too. The sight of Maleficent strengthened it somehow, giving Lily enough motivation to stay where she was and wait for the two women to come closer instead of hiding. The growing flicker gave Lily an idea; one that scared her even more than her previous plans to drop in on the Merry Men on the invitation of a child. But if the way the darkness in her cowered at the idea was any indication, it couldn’t have been all that bad. 

Maleficent and Regina’s heads were bowed together in intense conversation, the world passing them by unnoticed. Whatever they were talking about, Maleficent didn’t look happy about it. Lily only caught every few words, but the mentions of a ‘complicated spell’, ‘magnet’, and ‘source’ by the Evil Queen had her confused as to what they were talking about at all. 

Their conversation stopped all together when they noticed Lily quietly standing in front of them. Maleficent’s face lit up and she stood a little straighter. Regina’s face would have been a stony mask of indifference had Lily not noticed the quick gleam in her eyes, a gleam that made Lily very nervous. 

“Lily,” Maleficent greeted, voice just as in awe as it was the other day at the diner. Maybe there was hope for them yet, Lily thought. 

“Hey um,” Lily stopped abruptly when she saw Regina was watching her curiously, the woman’s dark eyes narrowed and calculating. Lily fought the urge to fidget under the woman’s stare but Regina noticed her nervousness anyway. 

The woman rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’ll go. Have your family time. Just think about what I said Mal,” Regina said, a little put out. Lily waited until she was at least a block away before turning slowly back to an expectant Maleficent. 

“So uh, I just thought we could…” Lily took a breath through her nose, steadying herself for the onslaught of turmoil that was sure to come from this misadventure. “About those dragon lessons…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked it! Next time, Dragon lessons and family bonding!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Threes cheers for the civic undertaking that is jury duty! Whereupon dozens of people are called in to sit in an overly hot and humid and decidedly not air conditioned waiting room to hang around for several hours just in case the attorney’s need any of us for a trial (Assuming they don’t settle their cases out of court instead). My pain is your gain, it seems, since waiting in that room all day gave me the time to whip all of this together in addition to the next chapter. As promised, some Mal and Lily bonding time! 
> 
> Read and review!

Walking next to Maleficent left Lily hyper aware of everything around her in all the worst ways. She was aware of the rough texture of her skin as her fingers rubbed together at her sides, and of just how much space her tongue took up in her mouth, sitting there uselessly silent. She was aware of the air around them, thick and full of an awkward tension that Lily had no clue how to break, and of the flicker of warmth that seemed to dance its way through Lily’s veins at being near Maleficent.

Lily still had no idea what to make of that, and it terrified her. 

Lily was even more aware of how composed Maleficent seemed to be, her steps sure and purposeful even as her heels sank into the dirt. How was it possible that the woman managed to look poised and in her element while walking through the woods in a pantsuit? Lily tugged her ill-fitting jacket tighter around her and wished not for the first time that she had clothes that weren’t so threadbare. She snuck another glance at the older woman, noticing for maybe the first time the rigid line of her jaw, tense and nearly twitching, the only indicator that she may have been as anxious as Lily. 

The mutual anxiety didn’t make Lily feel any better. 

They hadn’t even done anything yet and Lily was already feeling inadequate. It would be another few minutes before they reached the clearing in the woods where Maleficent said there would be enough room for them to work (“There’ll be no one around but us Lily. The Merry Men’s camp is several miles off,” She’d assured her. “It’ll be quiet and out of the way.”), but even walking next to the older woman had Lily severely second guessing her earlier courage. Where did her bravery go? That gusto that told her it was ok to take on the world one hobbit-filled conversation at a time? Her confidence had practically up and vanished, evaporating into thin air and abandoning her in her time of need. 

She shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, wasn’t abandonment the story of her life anyway?

Lily barely paid attention to where exactly they were walking, her head bowed toward the ground and only glancing up every so often to keep her bearings. She absently kicked at some twigs and leaves in front of her as she walked, letting her feet scuff along the forest floor in yet another nervous tic. Maleficent watched her with a sideways glance, eyes curious, confused, and while not outright judgmental, not entirely amused either, as if she were struggling with something herself. Lily’s shoulders tensed at the unintended glances. 

Another distracted kick of her foot against a small pile of leaves revealed a patch of dirt littered with small creatures. Worms and newts and bugs scurried away before they could be stepped on, but Lily just paused to stare at them hurriedly fleeing the scene. She looked up again to realize she had stopped moving altogether and that Maleficent was waiting patiently for her several steps ahead, that same curious and conflicted look spread over her features.

“Um, newts,” Lily said, gesturing helplessly toward where the newts had run off under another pile of leaves and branches. 

A monosyllable about an amphibian probably wasn’t what either of them expected in an icebreaker, but Maleficent nodded slowly, and seemed to latch onto the word in hopes of expanding their dialogue. “I once turned a woman into a newt. She stole an item from my castle,” She offered, her voice as wistful as if she were recalling a childhood memory. 

Lily’s eyes widened in surprise and she fell back into step alongside the older woman, the two of them continuing their trek. “A newt? You can do that?”

“With the proper training magic can let you do a great number of things Lily,” Maleficent told her, seeming pleased that they were talking instead of dwelling in the prior silence. 

Lily still wasn’t sure about the whole talking thing, but so far the conversation didn’t seem too dangerous so it couldn’t hurt to indulge the older woman a little, right? “So what happened to her after? Did she get eaten by a bird or something?”

Maleficent’s answering shrug was non-committal and evasive. “Perhaps she got better…”

“Seriously?”

She sighed. “I don’t know, Lily. I only changed her into a newt after she returned what was stolen. It didn’t matter to me why she needed to flee the realm or where the bruises on her skin came from. It was punishment and I wanted to make an example of her. The looking glass she stole was taken later by someone else anyway. I can only assume their fate matched hers.” The change in Maleficent’s voice was so fast that Lily almost missed it entirely. It shifted from evasive to nearly guilty, which just confused Lily. What did Maleficent have to feel guilty about? Someone took something from her so they were punished. That was justified. 

“Didn’t you do that to everyone who stole from you?” Lily asked, somehow already knowing the answer. 

Maleficent turned to her looking just a little offended and more hurt. “Perhaps enough in my early years to earn my reputation, and certainly when there were those deserving of such action, but not every time I was slighted. I have more restraint than that. Rumplestiltskin likes to say that all magic has a price, but actions do as well. More often than not, people bring about their own doom whether they intend it or not.” 

Her words only annoyed Lily. “But if someone deserves to be punished then shouldn’t they should be punished by the person they hurt?”

Maleficent shook her head, adamant. “It isn’t always about punishment, Lily. It’s about balance. Magic has a price because it needs to be balanced, and actions need balance too. There are times I stepped in to return balance but other times the world has it’s own way of balancing things. Snow and her Charming kept us apart so their daughter could live a better life, but they were separated from her just as we were, and their daughter’s life was hardly the painless and joyful one they wanted for her. Was that not punishment enough?”

No, it wasn’t, Lily thought, a wave of cold rushing through her in delight at the admission. She knew better than to say that out loud though. Just like she knew better than to listen to the flicker inside her that said it was plenty enough, and to move forward and let the past be the past. The flicker of warmth was right about opening up to people, but she wouldn’t let it be right about her revenge. 

Lily pursed her lips, trying to think of something else to say. Arguing with Maleficent seemed like a dead end and the thought of tumbling back into their prior silence was unwelcome, so she asked a question that had been bothering her for some time. “So what should I call you exactly? I mean, Maleficent’s kind of a mouthful.”

Maleficent opened and closed her mouth several times; clearly struggling with her thoughts and Lily carefully watched the play of emotions dance on her features. There was caution and reservation, but also a lot of hope and fear. “I… I know mother might be a strange thing for you to use at this point but perhaps…”

“How about Mal?” Lily interrupted all too eagerly. She’d heard Regina call her that. Mal was fine. Mal was safe and middle of the road. Mal could have been a cute nickname for all anyone else knew. 

Outright calling her Maleficent really was mouthy, but mostly it was an acknowledgement of Maleficent’s otherworldly origins, as well as Lily’s own. It was easy to think of the woman in Lily’s mind as being from some fantastical far away land since having a mother or any sort of family was always nothing more than a fantasy for Lily, but even the mental admission that Lily herself had never belonged in this world wasn’t freeing, it was isolating and lonely. It always had been ever since the apprentice had confirmed her suspicions as a teenager about her inability to belong anywhere. Admitting that she didn’t belong didn’t give Lily another family or place to belong to; it only took away the world she tried to be a part of in the first place, leaving her all alone and adrift. 

So ‘Maleficent’ was out as a name, and there was no way in hell that Lily was going to call her ‘mother’ either. She’d barely met the woman a few weeks before, and they hadn’t exactly had a heart to heart chat about much since then. Families bonded with each other in a way that Lily didn’t think she would really ever be able to with this woman. Sure, the connection between them still existed, but Lily still didn’t know how she was going to address it, if she even wanted to. 

Then again, she was here for dragon lessons, so wasn’t that an acknowledgment of sorts?

The flicker of something across Maleficent’s face was too fast for Lily to identify. She wasn’t sure if she could call it hurt or relief and frankly she didn’t want to call it anything. Maleficent finally smiled softly at her. “Of course. Whatever you want Lily. Whatever makes you comfortable.” 

“Thanks, uh, Mal,” Lily replied, her eyes narrowing in thought. “You know, you don’t have to say my name every other sentence.”

The smile that graced Maleficent’s face was soft and only partly apologetic. “I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. I spent all those years wondering what had happened to you, if you were even alive, and once I learned you had been adopted and named I only…” She paused, gathering her thoughts. “Saying your name made you real. Made you part of my life again, even though we hadn’t met yet. It meant more to me than you’ll ever know.”

Lily considered her for a moment. “You didn’t name me Lily. That really was the name I got here.” 

“That’s right,” She admitted. 

“So what were you gonna name me instead?” Lily asked curiously. 

Maleficent shook her head in resignation. “It doesn’t matter. You’re Lily.” 

“What? How can it not matter? It’s another thing that was taken from us,” She said hotly, temper rising. 

Maleficent’s resigned stare stopped Lily short. “Because it shouldn’t matter what we call each other so long as we’re there to call each other something. I’m just grateful you’re here and that we’re together at last. I could call myself Themis or the Dark Sorceress or any other name or title, but it would never change the fact that I am your mother, and you are my daughter, and that is the natural order of things. So I’ll be Mal, and you’ll be Lily. And we’ll be together.”

Lily could only stare at her mutely, feet planted to the ground and mouth slightly open. She was still angry, her temper growing inside her bit by bit as the seconds ticked on, the cold creeping its way back into her and quietly moving the warm flicker aside. How could it not matter that Lily’s name wasn’t really her own? Emma was always meant to be Emma. She’d told Lily about her hand knit baby blanket when they were teenagers. But Lily didn’t even have that much. All she had was a useless dragon scale necklace from a father who probably didn’t know she existed and a weird birthmark. She had too many questions about the life she never had and no way to find answers. How could Maleficent not want to punish those responsible for taking that life away from them? 

“We’re here,” Maleficent said calmly, moving further into the clearing Lily didn’t even realize they had arrived at. “You’re angry, that’s fine. He said you probably would be…”

Lily narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “He who? Who the hell are you talking about? Henry? Jones?” 

But Maleficent ignored her question. “Transformation is a form of magic so essentially, I’ll be teaching you magic. Magic comes from emotions, but you must maintain an element of control as well.”

“I don’t have magic,” Lily snapped, remembering her earlier spat with Ruby and Jones. 

“Yes, you do Lily,” Maleficent insisted. “It’s untapped and untrained, but there is magic inside you, and I’m going to train you to use it exactly as I would have if we were back in the Enchanted Forest.” 

“So what are we gonna do, watch Sesame Street for Dragons? Meditate or something?” Lily asked sarcastically. 

“Not quite, although meditation is a fine idea,” Maleficent replied, thoughtful. “No, we’re going to take this step by step and practice partial transformations.” 

Lily knew her face was probably the picture of confusion and fear and Maleficent quickly picked up on her trepidation. “I think your first transformation occurred primarily out of anger. When you let that anger take over you lost all control over yourself, falling into a full and very powerful transformation that you weren’t ready for. By practicing partial transformations you should be able to pull yourself back from an unwanted form change and even keep a level of awareness and control when you do transform fully, so we’re going to practice with control in mind.”

Lily’s eyes widened at that. “I’d be able to control myself in dragon form?”

Maleficent fidgeted slightly. Lily didn’t think she’d ever seen the woman fidget, and it definitely wasn’t a comforting sight. “You’re learning all of this as an adult. It won’t feel quite as natural as if you had learned when you were younger, so I’m not certain just how much control you’ll be able to maintain,” She admitted. 

“Well isn’t that fan-fucking-tastic,” Lily deadpanned. She was met with a decidedly motherly glare from Maleficent, and she didn’t fight the urge to roll her eyes at the woman. “Oh come on. You’re an infamous magical villain known across worlds and you’re going to get parental on your grown daughter for cursing? Isn’t that kind of hypocritical or something?”

“Hypocritical or not, I’ll not have my daughter use such plebian and base language,” Maleficent replied smoothly. 

Lily could only stare at the woman. “You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

Maleficent seemed to want to drop the subject though and her eyes shifted on Lily, a hint of concern in their depths underneath a layer of curiosity. “Are you sure you want to practice now? You’re not too tired or-?”

“I’m fine, let’s just do this already,” Lily snapped. 

The older woman’s gaze held Lily’s for another moment, her face surprisingly blank among the warmth in her eyes. She nodded slightly in decision. “Very well. Perhaps the first thing we should try is to extend your claws.”

Lily tensed, remembering the ripped bed sheets from earlier that day and flexing her fingers nervously. “Are you sure about starting there? Maybe we should try scaly skin or something else…”

“Nail growth is one of the first parts to transform, followed by the eyes. It’s the most logical place to start,” Maleficent informed her. “You’ve already transformed once, so that should make this easier. Try clearing your mind of everything except to picture the shape of your claws during that transformation. Remember the curve of them, the sharpness at their point. Remember how it felt to dig those claws into the earth. The more you can recall those sensations, the easier it should be to reach it.”

“I don’t remember any of that,” Lily told her, shaking her head. “That whole change is kind of blank spot for me.”

But Maleficent was determined. “Perhaps if you imagine the sensation? What do you imagine it would feel like to have talons? Give it a try.”

Lily stood awkwardly in the clearing and unfolded her arms, holding her hands in front of her. She stared at her clipped nails, trying to imagine them longer, sharper, but it was impossible to keep her thoughts and fears from wandering everywhere. What if she couldn’t do it? Maleficent said this was supposed to be an easy way but what if Lily just couldn’t do it and she failed? Or worse, what if she did it, actually turned her nails into claws, but couldn’t stop? What if she lost control again and transformed fully, attacking everyone and everything around? A voice inside her told her it wouldn’t end well for anyone, especially for her. She would be attacked and chased out of town, ruining any chance she had at anything good. Not to mention that even though Maleficent was strong she wouldn’t be enough to stop Lily if she went full dragon. No one had actually stopped her last time, Lily had just flown away and landed somewhere else to unintentionally transform back into a human.

The cold ran through her and she shivered, despite the lack of a breeze. She bit her lip in an attempt at concentration, but the noise in her mind was too much to push aside and she dropped her hands in frustration, shoving them into her pockets in defeat. Lily knew she wasn’t imagining the flash of disappointment that streaked across Maleficent’s face and it’s brief presence, however unintentional, stung. Lily curled her hands tighter into her jacket and tried to shrug nonchalantly. “Is this how you learned? By imagining and whatever?”

“No, but…”

“So why don’t I just do whatever you did? You’ve got a handle on the whole dragon thing, so it definitely worked.”

“Never.” Maleficent’s eyes had glazed over briefly in memory and then lit up in anger and horror. “The circumstances of my so-called ‘training’ were a series of horrors I would never wish on my greatest enemies,” She seethed, voice coarse and almost reptilian. Moments later her face softened and she breathed deeply to calm herself. “I could never do that to my own daughter, not to you. I’m not going to teach you the way I was forced to learn, but we’ll figure this out together.” 

Lily was quiet for several moments before she answered with an “Ok,” that surprised her in its softness. 

Maleficent took another breath. “All right, I was hoping to avoid this by sparing you the emotional toll but perhaps if we focused more on the emotions you were experiencing at the time instead of a more controlled approach, it might help trigger the change more easily.”

“So you want me to focus on my anger? I can do that easy,” Lily said, thoughts of revenge beginning to cloud her mind when Maleficent interrupted her, her face nervous and anxious. 

“No, not anger. Emotions are necessary for magic but we want to avoid anger if possible. Anger lost you your control last time. Never go into your dragon form blindingly angry, you’ll simply drain yourself dry and inevitably hurt yourself. Besides, if it were so simple as anger then you would have transformed back at the diner when we were eating and talking about…” She trailed off, uncomfortably remembering their conversation from that day when Lily had first come to Storybrooke. “What exactly happened after you left the diner? Do you remember?”

Lily remembered. She remembered being so angry at Maleficent for not wanting to pursue her revenge, for wanting to just drop everything as if it never happened, as if she and Lily could pick up where they had left off when there was never anything between them in the first place. 

“I went to the bus stop,” Lily started. “I just wanted to leave. Nothing was happening the way it was supposed to and I just wanted to get out before anything really bad could happen to me again. I was confused and angry and then Regina just sat her ass down next to me and started, I dunno, pushing me I guess. She started talking about needing a dark savior and blood for something to work. It was weird and freaky and then she actually took some of my blood. I mean, who the hell does that?” Lily knew she was just getting angrier by the moment, but she didn’t stop. She was sure Maleficent was probably backing away slowly from her in preparation for some unforeseen but inevitable disaster, not that Lily would have blamed her. But instead of the pull back she was expecting Maleficent hadn’t moved an inch. 

Instead, her eyes were narrowed in thought and consideration as she asked Lily, “I was told you also transformed once in Isaac’s reality? Do you remember what you felt then? Was it the same as when Regina was next to you?”

Lily stared at her in confusion. “Yeah? No? I dunno. In that guy’s story curse thing I was the only guard on an island with Emma. Her kid and that pirate came and knocked me out cold and then freed her. When I woke up they were already on a ship leaving, but I knew I had to go after them or else…”

“Or else what?” Maleficent urged.

“I dunno, just or else. I wasn’t supposed to let her leave on pain of death or something,” Lily shrugged. 

“Fear then,” Maleficent said, her voice resigned. “Your trigger was fear and at least a brief contact with magic, not just anger.” 

“What?”

“Both of your transformations involved anger, as I first suspected, but only as a response to fear for your safety. You were scared, then angry, and your instincts took over to protect you.”

“What do you mean?”

Maleficent took several steps toward Lily and placed her hands gently on her shoulders. “Regina taking your blood for magic was a direct threat, and when you changed you fled to the edge of town, as far from Regina as possible. In Isaac’s story your fear of retribution at the hands of a dark Snow White in a magical reality was another threat, and your dragon chased after Emma to prevent that retribution from happening. Your dragon form has never been about aggression or attacking anyone for the sake of anger, it’s meant as protection. It was trying to keep you safe.”

Lily didn’t even try to shake off the hands on her shoulders, only stared at the older woman at a loss. “You’re shitting me. That ‘thing’ is supposed to keep me safe?”

Maleficent’s lips tightened briefly, and she rubbed her hands up and down Lily’s arms once before stepping back, a hurt smile back on her face. “That ‘thing’ is as much a part of you as your beating heart, Lily, and it will protect you if you let it.”

“Or it’ll destroy everything around it,” Lily retorted.

“Keep thinking like that and it will destroy you first,” She answered. “If you let fear and anger take over during your transformation, then you’ll lose control of yourself. But if you find a way to focus that need for protection, to channel it properly, then you need never fear anything. I want you to try and imagine your claws one more time. But this time, also think about that need for protection.” Maleficent urged Lily on with a nod.

Grudgingly pulling her hands from her pockets, Lily stared at her nails again. A need for protection, she thought. Long nails and a need for protection. 

“You’re defending yourself from something. You’ll need claws to do that. Imagine them and protect yourself,” Maleficent reminded her. 

Lily nodded absently, staring at her hands harder in an attempt to concentrate. Lily imagined a host of monsters, anything from a tiger to a fairytale ogre that could hurt her. She imagined them circling her, the predators surrounding her and coming at her with sharpened teeth and claws of their own. The vague monsters turned into the faces of those who had hurt her over the years. The exes, foster parents, social workers, and the nameless strangers who had judged her, they all blended together into a blurry picture that set Lily on edge, leaving her anxious and unsure. Soon enough the image only made Lily angry, and the darkness rose up in delight at the feeling, urging her onward, telling her things would be easier for her if she gave in. She thought again of long, sharp nails and a need. She could feel her anger rising, could feel the tremors and cold creeping through her veins, inching closer to her hands and heart. 

“Lily.” She ignored Maleficent’s voice and the warning in it, and thought again of long, sharp nails, and the people she would use them on, the people who had hurt her and deserved to be hurt. 

Her breathing quickened and the frozen tingling in her veins and fingers edged further out along her hands, dancing their way to the ends of her fingers. She kept her eyes locked on the digits, and watched the swirl of darkness edge around her nails. Her vision shifted, the colors of the forest muting to dull grays and darkness, and while the cold inside her reveled in it the flicker of warmth cringed at the sensation. She ignored the flicker in favor of the delightful rolling and cracking she felt along her back, right along the tattoos on her shoulder blades. Lily could almost imagine her tattoos sprouting free of her skin, growing into a pair of magnificent and hellish leathery wings. She could almost feel the wind against them, if she could only…

“Lily. Stop.” Maleficent’s voice was hard as it tried to snap Lily’s concentration, but it was too late. Lily had already lost her tenuous control over the dark magic now coursing freely through her. 

With a growl she dropped to her knees, sharpened fingers clutching the earth. Her skin grew tough and scaly while she grew larger, easily towering over the clearing and the forest. It was like breaking free from a cocoon, her wings finally sprouting free from her back, leathery and sure, and she beat them experimentally, testing their fortitude. Deciding she liked the feel of them, she let out a great roar, the sound echoing across the forest and leaving the trees to tremble in its wake under the afternoon sun. 

She rolled her joints, unused to the strange sensation of leaning on all fours and digging her claws into the dirt, and twisted her head in anticipation of… Something. Something was coming for her. She’d seen it in her mind, a monster of some sort, with sharpened teeth and claws and… No, not claws. It was the social worker, the one who brought her back to the fake family’s home time and again. He was coming to send her back. No, that wasn’t it either. All she knew was that she had been afraid and now needed to run from something. But what was that something?

“Lily!” A voice called to her from below. She thought she recognized the voice, and even the woman on the ground shouting to her, but something about her made Lily nervous and uncomfortable. “Lily, please listen to me!” The voice implored. “Just listen to my voice. Listen and know that there is nothing to be afraid of. Nothing is coming for you and nothing will hurt you. You’re safe here.”

Lily. That was her name, yeah. She remembered that. She was Lily and the woman down below was… Lily knew but she also didn’t know, and she wasn’t sure what to make of the woman trying to talk to her. For as much as Lily didn’t want to feel afraid of the woman, she could feel the magic rolling off of her in powerful waves. The woman insisted there was nothing to be scared of, but she herself was a threat. Was she lying? She must have been. There was always something out there threatening her. Why should this woman be any different? 

This woman was familiar, a flicker inside her insisted softly. This woman was safe and wanted her safe. Lily felt part of her soften at that. And the woman hadn’t attacked her yet either… Lily would leave. If the woman were friendly she wouldn’t attack, but if she were dangerous then it would be safer to leave. 

A thin plume of smoke rose from the forest a short distance away and Lily swiveled toward it. Fire. A campfire. She didn’t mind fire. The fire would be a safe haven. She would go there. 

Lily turned toward the fire and began to move toward it, one clawed foot stepping in front of the other. Her limbs crunched heavily into the dirt, collapsing the ground and trees beneath her. 

“Lily?! Where are you going? Stop!” The woman cried from the ground, racing toward her with her arms waving. But Lily ignored the woman, her destination clear in her mind as she stepped forward. “I know you can control this. Don’t make me stop you myself,” The woman threatened and pleaded. 

Lily turned her large head downward and narrowed her eyes at what she saw. The woman’s eyes were glowing and nails lengthening as her form began to change and grow. Lily snarled defensively. It was a blatant threat that needed a response, and she was going to answer it with everything she had to keep herself safe. 

A separate growl at the edge of the clearing caught both of their attention and Lily spotted a large wolf coming out of the trees. Its teeth were bared and snarling; it’s eyes a possessed black and it’s steps measured and purposeful. There was nothing about the creature that didn’t scream predator in that moment, and Lily shifted her gaze between the two threats, feeling weak and in danger on both fronts. 

The woman seemed to finally notice the wolf’s presence and the air around her shifted completely. Where she had been growing and transforming before, she stopped and reverted back into the smaller human she had been, her eyes confused and calculating as they darted back and forth between Lily and the wolf. 

“Why are you here?” The woman demanded of the wolf. “Lily’s done nothing wrong. There’s no need for this!”

But the wolf didn’t seem to be listening, instead it continued to snarl at them both threateningly, sizing them up and stalking toward them in measured steps. Something about the wolf’s behavior was unsettling to the other woman, but Lily didn’t honestly care why in that moment. All she was aware of was the calculating way the wolf was watching them both, deciding who to pick off first. 

The decision was made in an instant and suddenly the wolf was bolting toward the woman, racing forward with jaws snapping. A ball of fire formed in the woman’s hand and she threw it at the wolf, but the wolf smoothly sidestepped the blast, continuing to rush forward. In a heartbeat the wolf launched itself at the woman who threw another fireball at the creature and tossed the beast briefly aside. 

The wolf was ready to make another strike, and Lily swiped her long tail at both of them before it could, intending to strike them both down in one fell swoop before fleeing to safety. But wolf noticed her movement and danced aside, so Lily only managed to hit the woman, sending her flying to the ground with a hard thud where she struggled for a moment before lying unmoving. The wolf snarled at Lily who answered with a growl of her own, trying to intimidate the smaller creature out of a fight she wasn’t sure she could win. 

The wolf didn’t cower though, and started racing toward her. It snuck through to Lily’s legs and tried to bite down on the flesh, managing to break the skin without sinking its teeth in fully. It clawed at her, scratching and gnawing at her flesh as Lily tried to pull away, to fly upwards and out of the wolf’s reach. Lily managed to stomp her legs around the wolf, sending it back several steps while she beat her wings hard. A great gust of wind whirled through the clearing. The grasses and trees shook under the force as Lily’s wings flapped harder and harder, bringing her to rise over the trees and away from the wolf. 

In a moment of relief could feel the air under her wings, feel it rushing past her and around her. Combined with the expansive view from above the clearing it was the most empowering feeling Lily could have imagined. With the wolf down below howling uselessly at her, Lily was finally above it all, above everyone and everything that could and had hurt her. She was finally free. 

But her wings were too new and too unused to flying, and she was already unsteady in the air. Her strength was fading fast and as she sank closer and closer to the ground the wolf seemed to think it’s chance had come. It started circling her potential landing spot on the far end of the clearing from where the woman still lay unmoving. 

Lily inhaled deeply, breath held in her lungs for a moment before she unleashed a fiery spray from her mouth as she descended. The wolf dodged and sprinted around the clearing, the fire chasing it closely but never catching up. The flames never lasted long once they were on the ground, going out almost immediately and leaving a charred scar in their wake. Lily didn’t know what to make of that except to be annoyed by it. She needed the fire to last longer, to scare the wolf into leaving. That was never going to happen with such weak and short-lived fire. 

As her limbs touched ground Lily felt a rush of energy leave her and her breathing quicken. She hadn’t even realized how exhausting using her wings and the fire was, but she wouldn’t give in. She couldn’t, not if she wanted to survive this encounter with the wolf. So as her vision darkened and spotted on the edges Lily continued to spray fire at the wolf, keeping it at a distance on the edge of the clearing. 

Soon the darkened edges in her sight were too much and Lily felt herself collapsing, her fiery breath barely making it to the tree line and not even singeing the blades of grass it managed to touch. The wolf noticed her weakening state and slipped easily past the fading fire, launching itself at Lily once more. Lily managed to toss the wolf aside before she fell forward and a change came over her. Her wings folded inward and crunched sickeningly, her skin smoothed out, and the trees grew taller as she shrank smaller and smaller. By the time she had transformed back into a human and regained some semblance of awareness Lily found herself crawling hopelessly to lean against the trunk of a tree, facing the clearing and the oncoming wolf with spots still dancing in her vision. 

She was all too aware of the pain in her arms and legs, sharp and throbbing and leaving her limbs feeling like they’d been bruised and beaten within an inch of her life. Lily glanced down and saw a small spattering of blood seeping through her clothes, miraculously, not enough to scar but enough to need attention. The predator’s growls continued as it approached her again, stalking her just like it did when it first arrived. Lily’s fingers curled helplessly in the dirt and she winced at the movement, too exhausted and pained to put up a mask. 

The motion seemed to catch the wolf’s attention and the creature stopped suddenly; it’s beady black stare holding Lily’s fearful gaze. She couldn’t see any of what the wolf was thinking, but for some reason Lily thought the wolf looked confused and conflicted. Its eyes moved between Lily and the wounds it had inflicted on her, struggling with itself. The transition of its eyes from predator to human was almost seamless, if not a bit frightening to Lily. Where there once stood a deadly predator and killing machine, there was now a guilty and regretful oversized dog shifting nervously and unsteadily on its feet. 

The air crackled for a moment and Lily watched in muted horror and fascination as the wolf’s skin lost all fur, the ears and limbs and claws all retreating to reveal the form of a young woman. A young woman made of legs whose brown hair was streaked red. 

Ruby.

The brunette stood tall for only a moment before dropping her arms to her shaking knees, trying to stay upright. She was heaving for breath, shoulders rising and falling every moment in a desperate attempt to fill her lungs with air that Lily knew without a doubt she was mimicking. 

“The fuck was that? How am I here…?” Ruby muttered to herself between breaths, confused and scared. 

“You’re a…. How? Wolf?” Lily managed to pant. Her words were as jumbled as her brain felt. She didn’t know what she was trying to say, only that she was lost and confused and felt like she’d had the life sucked out of her. 

For her part, the leggy brunette was still breathing just as heavily as she rose upright, her chest heaving as she moved her hands onto her hips. She looked Lily up and down in consideration as she spoke. “It’s easier if you think of me as a werewolf.” The explanation came quickly, betraying the fact that she had given it countless times before. Her hands gestured in further explanation. “I mean, I’m not gonna turn you or anyone else into one but it’s the closest thing this world has to a comparison…” Ruby dropped her hands back to her hips and stared at Lily again, her eyes guilty and considering. “Are you ok?”

No, Lily wanted to say, but her mouth refused to cooperate, refused to let out another sound apart from her still heavy panting. 

A smile broke out on Ruby’s face, but it didn’t reach her eyes and looked more like a self-deprecating sneer to Lily. “If you need to vent a little more energy we could go hunting, maybe chase a rabbit? Or would a moose be more your speed?”

“I-I don’t…” Lily swayed even as she sat against the tree, somehow unbalanced, a little sick to her stomach, and still breathing harshly. She wasn’t sure if her eyelids were fluttering shut on her or if the world was going dark and light in very sudden turns. 

“Ok, bad joke. Forget I said anything. I’ll call Victor and he can… Lily? Lily!”

As awareness finally left her and Lily’s body fell to the ground, the impact hard and jarring, she dimly registered the sight of Ruby running toward, pulling out a cell phone, before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never said it was going to necessarily be happy bonding/family time. Fear not though, resolution will come and with it growth and understanding. Just not right away, we have some story to get through first. 
> 
> Fun fact, the story of Sleeping Beauty as Disney interpreted it from the Grimm Bros. fairy tales was actually an adaptation of an Italian story, which in turn was an adaptation of either a French story or an ancient Roman myth (Depending on your source material) that starred three goddesses at the birth of another goddess. Story goes that to celebrate the birth of the goddess Zellendine the three goddesses Venus (a.k.a Aphrodite), Lucina (a goddess of childbirth and new mothers), and Themis (A goddess of moral and natural order) were having a feast. Themis was jealous that her silverware wasn’t as nice as the other goddesses and cursed the newborn to prick her finger on some flax that would put her into a deep sleep. Zellendine’s cursed sleep was broken not by true love’s kiss, but by the removal of the flax seed from her finger by the kid she conceived and gave birth to while in a magically induced coma. My silverware is shitty so I’ll curse the newborn. Hmm… Gotta love that leap of ancient mythological logic.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the kind words! I meant to put this up last week but I kept re-writing parts of it and being indecisive. My apologies once again. 
> 
> Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it’s not mine, especially the Tolkien bits.

Lily dreamt of a dragon in a far away forest. 

It looked like a dragon at first anyway. But the longer Lily looked at it the more the dragon turned into a man; a scaly man with all the presence of a dragon and a voice that chirped and taunted, sending her skin to crawling. 

“The darkness bows to no one, dearie. So let it play,” It cackled, the sound like insects crawling under Lily’s skin. 

Lily felt a steady pulse of warmth try to grow inside her, felt it radiate outward from her chest to her hands where it tickled pleasantly. But the warmth was soon replaced with an uncontrollable frozen burning along her skin, and everywhere the icy flames danced along her body they left a scorched trail in their wake that was painful beyond compare. Lily couldn’t control it, couldn’t stop the magical flames that were all at once too hot and too cold from consuming her limbs and was forced to shoot them into the air to try and dispel them. The act left her panting, weakened, and disoriented. 

“That’s not the way you do it,” The dragon-man teased. 

“Well then tell me how to do it or shut up!” Lily cried out in frustration. But it wasn’t Lily speaking, was it? It didn’t sound like Lily, but she could feel her mouth forming the words as they fell off her tongue so she must have been talking. And it wasn’t her frustration either, but she could feel the frustration and anger towards the dragon-man even though a part of her knew those weren’t her feelings. 

So whose were they?

All around her was an unfamiliar forest surrounding an even less familiar clearing, filled with a heavy fog and a heavier chill in the air. It was almost like the cold that surrounded Lily, but the feelings imbibed in it were more ancient and powerful, almost oppressive. 

“Another barrier, if you please dearie. Wouldn’t want any prying eyes now,” The man said, his reptilian eyes locking with hers intently, seeing through her and beyond. A wave of confusion, not her own, passed through her quickly followed by a wave of fear that Lily knew was of her own making. 

All too soon Lily felt a tremor of something cold and sharp race through her limbs and she was pushed aside, kicked out of whatever forest the dream was taking place in until she landed in a dark void marked by infrequent chirps and a rhythmic and accented tenor whose words she could only just make out. 

“He did not wake… but went still on an’ on, till…. away. He was altogether alone. Soon he thought…”

“Chirp, chirp.”

“…and grew, till there was no doubt about it. It was a red light steadily getting redder… Wisps of vapor floated up an’ past ‘im and he began to sweat…”

“Chirp, chirp.”

Were those actually chirps? Or was that beeping? She wasn’t sure, but whatever it was, it made her headache ten times worse by bouncing around like a pinball inside her brain, every hit against her skull erasing some part of the earlier dream. 

“It was at this point that Bilbo stopped. Goin’ on from there was the bravest thing he ever did. The tremendous things that ‘appened afterward were as nothin’ compared to it. He fought the real battle in the tunnel alone, ‘fore he ever saw the vast danger that lay in wait.”

The lilting accent became clearer as Lily’s headache grew worse and sensation slowly came to her. There was the hard bed underneath her and the flimsy blanket over her, which did nothing to keep the cool air from chilling her. The distant chirping quickened briefly before settling again and Lily felt weight return to her limbs, the feeling pulling her more fully to awareness. 

She thought she heard a rustling somewhere to her side. “Oi, quit your squirming lad, or we’ll never get back to Smaug.”

“Smaug! Smaug!” A child’s excited voice filled the air. Lily wasn’t sure, but she thought she might have recognized the pair of voices. 

“Hush up already. Where was I? Ah. At any rate after a short halt go on he did; and you can picture him coming to the end of the tunnel, an opening of much the same size and shape as the door above. Through it peeps the hobbit’s little head. Before him lies the great bottommost cellar or dungeon-hall of the ancient dwarves right at the mountain’s root. It is almost dark so that its vastness can only be dimly guessed, but rising from the near side of the rocky floor there is a great glow. The glow of Smaug!”

“Smaug!” 

“I know lad, we’re back to the dragon. It only took us another three re-readings. Get’s better every time, don’t it?”

“No Scawlett, Smaug!”

“What’re you… Oh, oh! Lass! You’re up!” 

Lily groaned achingly and felt a tug on the covers of the cot that served as a bed. “Wha… Where…?”

“Easy does it lass. Oi, nurse! Grab the Franken-doc, Lily’s up and at it!”

Her eyes fluttered uselessly, opening quickly only to shut again when the harsh daylight from the nearby window blinded her. She tilted her head in the opposite direction to escape the rays, and dared to open her eyes one more time, only to be met with the sight of Will Scarlett and a very excited and wide-eyed Roland Locksley next to her cot.

The flicker in her heart warmed at the sight of them and Lily only half-heartedly tried to temper it. To say Lily was surprised to see the pair of them would have been an understatement. Sure, she wasn’t expecting to wake up in a hospital, but she definitely wasn’t expecting to wake up to people in the room with her. Not people who didn’t want her dead, anyway. Will and Roland couldn’t actually be there just to see her, could they?

“Y’know, when Roland an’ I mentioned coming for a visit I thought we made it clear you were s’pposed to come to camp, not make us trudge all the way into town. D’you have any idea the pains his papa and I went to just to get the little hobbit to wear shoes for once?” Will’s tone was annoyed but the upward quirk of his mouth said he was only teasing. 

“Um…”

Before Lily could respond Will was already barreling forward, shrugging his shoulders in nonchalance. “Then again, there’s free food here, an’ I’m always a fan o’ that, so it’s really no loss.”

“The wiggly,” Roland added, nodding his head sagely where it peeked out at eye level with the bed. 

Will shot him a look. “That’s right, the wiggly jell-o cups. People are just given’ ‘em to ya left and right. You’ll have a stomach ache soon enough. I mean, you’ve ‘ad how many now? Five?”

“Four.” Roland scowled. The kid looked so put out as he said it that Lily couldn’t help the growing flicker of warmth that inched through her at his childish antics, although she did manage to stop the smile that threatened to break out on her face.

But Will didn’t stop his smile. He let his grin have free reign over his face. “Ah, right. The pirate git took one, didn’t he? Now I’m not excusin’ him, but I don’t think he and Henry knew you were aiming for a fifth when you still had a fourth in your hands, lad.”

Pirate… Jones had been by? Henry too? Why would they have come by? Their last encounters had been unfriendly at best, and nearly hostile at worst. 

“My wiggly…” Roland interrupted.

Will rolled his eyes. “Well maybe if you ask that puppet man real nice he’ll give you another one? He’s already getting his papa to make you one o’ them rocking horses, yeah?”

It took her a moment to register that the sudden intake of breath that echoed through the room was from her. Puppet man. That had to be August. Will’s nonchalance almost made her miss the nickname but there was no doubt in her mind that it was August. A chill went through Lily as she remembered her lying ex was in town too and the circumstances of her finding him again. Another chill left her frozen stiff as she realized the implications of what Will was saying. August had been in the hospital. He’d been around to see her at what was probably her most vulnerable. She let out a shaky breath at the thought. 

“Y’alright lass?”

“Fine,” Lily insisted, turning her head toward the sunny window. Unfortunately, the change in view was a mistake, because sitting in a vase on the small table next to her cot, was a small arrangement of four calla lilies, two purple and two white, with a card labeled ‘For Lily’ placed neatly among the surrounding greenery. She swore her heart stopped at the sight, but the continuous, if not increased, background chirping of the heart monitors told her that the opposite was actually true. 

He really had come by. The flowers could only have been from him, four lilies for Lily, half purple and half white. Just like back then… 

What the flying fuck was she supposed to do with flowers from a man she didn’t think she wanted to ever see again?

“Oi, Franken-doc, there y’are!” Lily was pulled from her darkening musings by Will calling out the arrival of a man with sandy blonde hair and a white lab coat. The man took one step into the room and sighed in exasperation at the sight of Will Scarlett.

“For the last time, my name’s Victor Whale here. Not Franken-doc or Frankenstein.” Another chill went through Lily then. Dr. Frankenstein was a practicing doctor in Storybrooke? He was real too? How the hell weren’t there more zombies running around? Lily was doomed, she was sure of it. “Now let’s have a look at Miss Page. How are you feeling right now?”

“Um…” Lily shifted uncomfortably. “Tired, I guess?” 

“Tired how? Are you sleepy, a little drained? Is your head cloudy at all?”

“I dunno, yes? No? Maybe?”

The doctor took a small flashlight and asked her to look at it briefly. He shined the light at each of her eyes, watching her reaction carefully. He pulled back, replacing the flashlight in his coat pocket and picked up the chart at the end of the cot. He flipped between two or three pieces of paper for several moments, studying them too hard to actually be studying them. “Pupil dilation is still normal, and our earlier tests all showed normal brain activity, so it’s safe to say there’s still no head injury. I will suggest taking it easy though. There’ll probably be a headache for at least another day or two and it’s not like you and Maleficent got away clean here.” 

The mention of her mother’s name sent a jolt of guilt through Lily. “Wait, but Mal…”

“She’s fine,” Dr. Frankenstein reassured her with a dismissive wave of his hand. “She has a very minor concussion but she’ll be fine. We kept her overnight the first night just to be safe but she was discharged the day before yesterday. She was here visiting this morning but got called away for something. She’ll probably be back soon.”

“The day before… How long have I been here?”

The doctor was in business mode, or at least trying to be. He kept his eyes and hands busily glued to the chart at the end of Lily’s cot, pretending to be very interested in what was written there. “This is your third day. You would have probably woken up yesterday but some of your symptoms were… We kept you sedated to allow you to recover better.”

Lily narrowed her eyes at the doctor. She didn’t trust doctors in the first place, they were arrogant assholes who thought they were better than everyone because they went to school a little longer, but the man’s gothic literary background definitely wasn’t doing him any favors in Lily’s mind, and neither were his cryptic words or the way he talked about Lily without talking to her. “What about my symptoms?” She demanded.

The doctor shifted on his feet, the gesture less nervous and more annoyed. “I swear things were easier under the curse. I never had to think about magic getting in the way of medicine,” He said under his breath. 

“Magic? She’s really here because of magic?” Will interrupted, trying to simultaneously listen in on the conversation and keep Roland from crawling under and around the cot in boredom. 

Dr. Frankenstein sighed heavily and looked up at them, as if the very act of having to explain everything was an annoyance and they were all idiots for not understanding it right away. Lily’s eyes narrowed at the man and she felt her teeth and lips pressing together tightly. She really hated doctors. “She’s here because she essentially went into magical debt and it knocked her out cold. Whatever she’s been doing the past week has pushed her energy reserves past their limits and put a huge strain on her body.”

“But I haven’t done anything,” Lily said, adamant. “It’s not like I go and run a marathon every morning.”

“You turned into a dragon the other day, lass,” Will reminded her. “I’m no expert, but I’m told that requires an awful lot of magic.”

Lily shot him a narrowed and half-hearted glare. “Fine, but that doesn’t explain my being out of commission for two days earlier this week.”

“Wait, say that again. What do you mean out of commission?” Frankenstein interrupted. 

The weight of his overly inquisitive stare, now so much more involved than his previous detachment, was over bearing and uncomfortable. Lily rubbed her fingers between the sheets as she cursed herself for her admission of weakness. 

“I mean…” She shifted awkwardly. “The day I went out with Mal was the first time I’d left my room in two days.”

The doctor narrowed his eyes in thought. “Because you didn’t want to leave or…”

“Because I was passed out for two days, alright?” Lily spat out. She folded her arms across her chest as best as she could with the IV in place, defensive and curled inward.

Will looked at her with what she thought was supposed to be sympathy but felt more like pity, while the doctor didn’t seem to acknowledge her frustration and discomfort at all. Neither was particularly helpful, nor was the sight of Roland poking at August’s vase of lilies on the table next to her.

“What happened earlier that day, maybe something emotionally or mentally straining? Have you been eating enough lately? Sleeping poorly? Something had to happen to make you expend all that magic,” The doctor said. 

‘I had another nightmare, transformed in my sleep, found out that my lying ex is actually a fairytale character in town, and that he’s supposedly incapable of lying,’ She wanted to say, but she bit her tongue. Lily didn’t want them knowing she was weaker than they already thought she was, and admitting that running into her ex had essentially knocked her off her feet for several days was just that sort of admission. 

The doctor seemed to finally catch on to her hesitation and rubbed his fingers on the bridge of his nose. “Look, you don’t wanna tell me, that’s fine. Magic really isn’t my field anyway. I can say what happened physically and I’ve already told you the essentials about your magical debt, but you’re gonna have to talk to some higher magical authorities about this so we can get to the root of the problem.”

“Like who?” Lily demanded.

The doctor shrugged. “Regina should be by soon with Robin, Zelena’s check up is probably almost done.”

“No.” Lily’s response was firm and her hands curled tightly into fists. “Not her.”

Will actually snorted in amusement and the doctor shot him a dirty look before turning back to Lily in annoyance. “Well what do you want from me? I don’t exactly have Maleficent on speed dial. I have Regina’s number from our records and she’s already in the building anyway.”

“I’m not getting near her again,” Lily insisted. 

Will tried to reason with the doctor for Lily. “Can you really blame her doc, or anyone for that matter? Her majesty has bad blood with most o’ the town. It’s just that Lily’s cause is a bit more recent. Oi! Roland, don’t poke the flowers!” He dashed around the doctor and the bed, pulling Roland back from the table before he could knock the flowers and vase over in his curiosity. 

Roland seemed oblivious to the dangers of falling plants in hard vases and simply looked up at Will in question. “Whose A.W.B?”

Jesus fucking Christ, August was still signing things with all his initials? Who the hell did that?

“Yes, do tell us Miss Page, who is A.W.B, and why has he sent you such lovely flowers?” A cool and calculating woman’s voice joined the room, sending shivers down Lily’s spine and sending her shoulders up to her ears. The temperature in the room dropped with her words, but Lily was sure that she was the only one who felt it. 

“Papa! ‘Gina!” Roland scrambled to the door where Robin Hood and the Evil Queen had just walked in. He slammed into them, grabbing hold of one leg in each arm and hugging them tightly. “Is baby ok?” He asked, voice full of childish concern and worry. 

Robin chuckled lightly at his son’s apparent distress, brushing his head in comfort. “The baby’s fine Roland. Nothing amiss. Just a regular check up.”

The scene left Lily’s stomach rolling in discomfort and her feelings a complete mess. It wasn’t jealousy or confusion that she felt then; the adoring look on the father’s face was expected, if not a little sickeningly sweet, but the queen’s face left her dumbfounded. Lily couldn’t picture the Evil Queen as anything but, well, evil. So the warmth and awe in her gaze as she looked at Roland still clutching her leg turned Lily’s mental image on its head. 

Roland stared up at the pair with wide, pleading eyes. “Can we get ice cweam later?” 

“Oi! No! Roland, you’ve ‘ad four jell-o cups today. You’re not gettin’ ice cream too,” Will said, trying to maintain a semblance of authority. 

The queen leveled him with a stare and a raised brow, her voice steely and deceptively calm. “You let him have four jell-o cups?” 

“I didn’t let ‘im- It were them nurses! And the puppet! You know how they get ‘round the hobbit’s big eyes? Can’t say no to ‘em,” Will tried to defend himself, but under the continued scrutiny he paled slightly, shrinking back. “I’ll just, uh, I better get going…” He started to slink from the room and made it to the door, Robin Hood and the queen’s eyes on him the entire time, before he turned around quickly and called back to Lily. “Lass, the offer still stands. Drop by anytime. And maybe bring some o’ that hot chocolate from Granny’s. The lad’s almost as crazy ‘bout it as he is ‘bout Smaug.” 

“Not the chocolate, Will…” Robin sighed tiredly, lifting his son up into his arms. But Will Scarlett was already out the door, leaving only an annoyed queen, a tired father, and an over excited child in his wake. 

Roland seemed entirely on board with the idea of hot chocolate, and started bouncing and squirming in his father’s hold. “Chocolate!” He cried excitedly. “Hot chocolate please! Pwetty please!”

Robin and Regina shared a look and soon the outlaw was moving to collect his son’s things from the chair. “I’d best take him. Maybe run him around the park. There’ll be no calming him any time soon otherwise. We’ll see you for dinner later, yeah?”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” The queen answered, a bright smile lighting up her face as she reached up to rub his shoulder briefly in affection.

Robin returned her smile and turned to leave the room, arms full with a wriggling kid. “Four jell-o cups?” Robin questioned his son in disbelief.

Roland nodded excitedly before whispering slyly, “I got more in my coat too!” 

“How did you manage that anyhow? I’m not certain whether to be cross with my son or impressed with the littlest Merry Man,” He said, genuinely awed as they walked out of the room.

With only Lily, the queen, and Dr. Frankenstein left in the room the atmosphere thickened considerably, and this time Lily knew she wasn’t the only one to notice the change in the air. 

“So, Miss Page,” The queen started. “I’m well aware you would rather be anywhere I wasn’t, but we’ll have to put our differences aside if we’re going to figure this out.”

“Figure what out? Dr. Frankenstein here says I went into magical debt and I’m gonna have a headache for a few days. I’ll just drink some water and eat something and try to sleep. What is there to figure out?”

“For crying out… It’s Dr. Whale! Not Franken- And your cuts still need treatment and healing,” He insisted.

“Not now Victor,” Regina said with a roll of her eyes. “If it were so simple as a headache then you’re absolutely right Miss Page, I’d leave you be. But the truth is turning out to be a bit more complicated than that.”

Well that was never a good sign. “The hell are you talking about? What’s complicated?”

“I visited with Miss Lucas yesterday, and the circumstances of her transformation are, quite frankly, unsettling.”

The doctor’s head snapped to the queen. “You never said ‘unsettling’ before Regina. You said odd and out of character,” He accused, eyes suddenly more passionate and caring than Lily had thought him capable of. 

Lily narrowed her eyes. “Lucas… You mean Ruby? So she really is a…”

“Yes, Ruby the lone she-wolf. Thankfully we don’t have an entire pack in our woods,” The queen answered before turning to face the doctor. “And after some consideration I’ve amended my earlier statement about her condition. Lily was actively trying to transform, but the full moon isn’t for another two days and Ruby somehow lost control and transformed during the daytime with no memory or cause to do so. Just try and tell me that’s not unsettling to you.”

“So you’re saying anyone who can transform lost control at the same time as me and Ruby?” Lily thought out loud. 

The doctor shifted his feet again and tried to defend his friend. “But if it was just about people’s magic going haywire and losing control than wouldn’t Maleficent have transformed too?”

The queen shook her head at them both. “Not a chance. It’s a matter of control and experience. Mal had decades to train and learn to control her dragon’s instincts, not to mention she started that training at a young age. A little extra darkness in the air isn’t going to be enough to set her off, even when that darkness spikes for no apparent reason…”

Lily dropped her eyes to where her hands were fisted in the blankets, remembering the anger and horror in Maleficent’s eyes as she recalled the circumstances of her own early training, circumstances that, she claimed, she would never wish on her worst enemies. If things were that dark when Maleficent was learning to control her dragon and magic, then of course she’d be able to control it when times were better. 

Lily shivered a little at the realization that she had just admitted the Evil Queen was right. 

“Ruby’s not a novice with her wolf. She’s got control now, even if she didn’t learn till later,” The doctor defended. 

“Be realistic Victor, Miss Lucas’ control over her wolf will always be tenuous and shaky. You’re right, she has grown in leaps and bounds since accepting its presence, but she didn’t even know it existed until adulthood. By that time she was so accustomed to repressing it both mentally and with that damned red cloak of hers that her control will likely never be as good as if she learned at an earlier age. Combine that with the frankly blatant shift in magic in Storybrooke toward darkness since Emma was taken and it’s almost a miracle this didn’t happen sooner.” 

The doctor looked hurt for his friend at the queen’s words, but he seemed to realize something as he glanced between Lily and the queen. “Regina, are you saying…?” 

“She’s saying Ruby will never control her wolf just like I’ll never control myself in dragon form. Maleficent said basically the same thing,” Lily stated quietly, resigned to her continued failure. “I’m a danger to myself and everyone else.”

But the queen shook her head again. “I never said that much. I’m saying that the magic in this town has shifted and two days ago it spiked. Anyone properly trained in magic would have felt it, but you and Miss Lucas were simply the most unwittingly susceptible to it. Now, you may never be able to play a game of chess while in dragon form but you’ll certainly be able to focus yourself enough not to stomp on anyone. Current circumstances aside Ruby has learned to do so, and you can too. The incident from the other day was not entirely your fault.”

“But I’m still to blame. It’s my fault Maleficent got hurt and if Ruby hadn’t been there I probably would’ve gone stomping off to destroy something.”

The queen threw her hands up in exasperation as she shared a look with the doctor, who only shrugged helplessly. Her face scrunched in annoyance at his unwillingness to comment. “I’m not here to assign blame, Miss Page. I told you before that I’m here to figure out what happened and how we can stop it from happening again. Given what we know I have a few theories but I’m not sure you’ll be too fond of them…” 

“What the flying fuck does that mean?” Lily’s senses were suddenly on high alert, awareness dancing on her skin as anger blinded her momentarily. If the Evil Queen was admitting Lily wouldn’t like something then Lily wanted nothing to do with it.

“Language, Lily,” Maleficent’s hardened voice cut through the rising tension, pulling the attention of everyone in the room to her as if she’d tied all their heads on strings and tugged. The sight of her mother in the doorway, sunglasses uncharacteristically perched on her nose, suddenly had Lily feeling more at ease and entirely guilty at once, and the only thought that really crossed her mind in that moment was, ‘fuck.’ 

“Mal, nice of you to join us,” The queen deadpanned. “I called you almost an hour ago, where have you been?”

“Taking care of a personal matter. Not that it’s any concern of yours Regina,” Maleficent answered smoothly. Her shielded eyes locked on her daughter as she spoke and it made Lily just a little uncomfortable. She got the impression that the personal matter had everything to do with her and she didn’t like the idea. 

“Wait, you have a phone?” Lily realized, the question going unanswered. 

“Regina, if this is going to be just about magic do you even need me here still? I have other patients,” The doctor tried to interject.

“Other patients? You mean the wolf,” The queen said definitively. Whatever snarky comeback Dr. Frankenstein had in mind, he bit it back against thinned lips and took a visibly steadying breathe through his nose. “Go ahead, see to Miss Lucas. We can take things from here,” The queen dismissed him with a wave of her hand.

The doctor seemed glad for the chance to leave the room, but scowled at the queen’s flippant attitude. He turned back to Lily, business mode back in place. “Lily, you are going to be staying here one more night for observation and we’ll discharge you in the morning if everything still looks good. If this really is the second time this week you’ve been bed-ridden for more than 48 hours then I’m not taking chances. A nurse will be by later with some dinner for you.” He turned and quickly left the room, watched closely by the queen’s curious and narrowed stare.

“The second time this week, Miss Page? How curious,” The queen asked, her question more like an accusation as her eyes remained glued to the door Dr. Frankenstein had walked through. 

Maleficent’s head whipped around to Lily, motherly concern etched on her features, and Lily suddenly felt trapped between a rock and a hard place, more willing to face the Evil Queen’s harshness than her mother’s worry.

“So what? Maybe I had a stomach bug or something from that shitty diner food,” She tried to say.

“Granny’s may not be fine dining but it’s usually perfectly edible,” The queen replied. “And besides, I’m rather curious about what could have left you hung up for that long that wasn’t a botched solo attempt at dragon transformation. I’m assuming, of course, that wasn’t the case because at least someone else in this town would have seen you?”

“No, it wasn’t,” Lily admitted; remembering the sound of August’s voice in the woods, still a rich timbre that did nothing to settle her heart, even after more than ten years. 

A faint rattling caught her attention and she turned her head to see the vase of flowers trembling on the table. The queen reached a hand out and grabbed the vase, stopping the shaking instantly. “My apologies, I must have bumped the table,” She said, sickly smile not meeting her eyes. “Perhaps the day wasn’t physically exhausting, but would you say that particular day was emotionally or mentally trying for you at all?”

Lily didn’t answer, only narrowed her eyes curiously at the woman. It was bad enough the doctor and Will and Roland had started to hear about the aftermath of her ‘trying’ day, but now the queen wanted to know too. Lily’s silence seemed to be all the answer the queen needed though because she pursed her lips in an infuriating look of consideration and understanding that pissed Lily off. 

“Regina, would you care to explain?” Maleficent demanded, just as impatient as her daughter. 

The queen snorted in superiority. “She doesn’t even realize what she’s doing, Mal. It’s just like with Emma, a complete waste of untapped potential and she has no control over it. She’s let it build to the point where the slightest thing could probably set her off.”

Maleficent scowled. “I’m teaching her to control it-”

“And you’re doing a splendid job, really, just splendid,” The queen replied, sarcasm dripping from her tongue. “But the point is that she has no control over her magic or her emotions and she’s been throwing off magic unconsciously in heaps and waves since Emma’s disappearance, probably even before than too. It’s no wonder she’s so exhausted.”

“You’re making it sound as if she’s fighting the world on a daily basis,” Maleficent pointed out in disbelief. 

“Maybe she is, and maybe the world is fighting back.”

Lily couldn’t help but agree with that assessment, even if her mother didn’t quite believe it. If she thought about it she really was fighting an uphill battle all of the time, against the world, the darkness, even herself. She was constantly fighting and being pulled in different directions. She fought to fit in, but she also fought to be left alone. She fought the darkness that lived inside her, but she couldn’t fight it when it was the one thing that probably knew her best. 

“Well whatever she’s fighting is fighting back just as much, but it’s certainly not the world doing it,” Maleficent continued.

“Oh, so you do see it? And here I thought you were just going to take Lily and hide in your castle again, play mommy and me and shut out the world,” The queen retorted, ignoring Maleficent’s answering scowl. 

“Just because your little blood tracking spell didn’t work to find Emma Swan doesn’t mean you can come in and play magical overlord with my daughter to make yourself feel better. She’s not one of your helpless subjects.”

“Will you two shut up for one second? And stop talking about me like I’m not here! I’m not some useless bystander,” Lily interrupted. “Look, Mal, her evil majesty isn’t totally wrong, I’m always fighting, and I’m always losing too. I’m pure darkness and I’ve been fighting that darkness all my life. It’s like fighting myself and not myself at the same time. Do you have any idea what that’s like?”

Maleficent’s hand reached for hers, fingers running over the clenched knuckles until she loosened her death grip on the sheets. “Lily…”

Lily shook her head. “It’s only gotten worse since I got to Storybrooke and even worse since Emma disappeared.”

She couldn’t see her mother’s eyes behind the sunglasses, but could see the scrunched forehead that told her the woman was narrowing her eyes in thought. “Since Emma disappeared…”

“Mal?”

Maleficent’s hand continued to rub along Lily’s knuckles in a calming gesture that Lily knew was more for Maleficent than her. “Perhaps you’re right, Regina. She is fighting. She’s been fighting herself and something powerful if not equally as strong as her all her life, because that’s how long her heart has been made to be purely dark.”

The queen’s confusion lasted only a moment and then her jaw was dropping in understanding. “Of course,” She breathed. “A connection…”

“It makes sense, doesn’t it?” Maleficent urged. “Equal and opposite parts of each other, connected but opposed. They’ve always been connected and fighting.”

Lily’s attention turned between the two, her frustration growing at their ignorance of her. “What did I just say about talking over my head? And what are you even talking about?”

“I think we’ve established you’re unschooled in magic Miss Page. Why not let the grown ups talk?” The queen remarked. 

“Maybe I know more than you think,” Lily shot back, the queen’s eyes narrowing at her.

“You and Emma and have always been connected, ever since Snow and Charming hurt you and took you from me,” Maleficent started, interrupting the staring contest. 

“We’re just starting to understand the depth of that connection,” The queen added. “Isaac was able to use your blood in place of Emma’s for his twisted story, and according to my son and my own knowledge you and Emma have lived within a matter of miles of each other your entire lives. And when one of you moved, the other unknowingly followed.” 

Lily started to clench her fists again but was soothed by Maleficent’s continued presence. “And that’s not even including the most important part of that connection,” Her mother said. “Half of you is inside Emma, just as half of Emma is inside you. Pure light and pure dark, equal and opposite parts of each other.”

The gears were starting to turn in Lily’s head, thoughts and ideas lining up in a coherent sequence as she put together what the two women were trying to say. “You wanna use me to find Emma.”

“Blood finds blood, but for some reason neither Henry’s blood nor that of Emma’s parents was able to find her with my tracking spell,” The queen admitted. “You and your connection to the Savior might be our last chance, Miss Page.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roland can’t have lived with the Merry Men for his 5(+28?) years of life and not learned a thing or two about being sneaky and a good thief, hence the over indulgence and accumulation of jell-o cups. That, and he’s a kid who probably likes sweets. 
> 
> Read and review as always! Your words are fuel for the muses!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, anything recognizable isn’t mine, like the Tolkien bits. Read and Review.

A nurse had just left the room after changing the bandages on Lily’s arms and legs, commenting briefly how lucky Lily was to have magic since it seemed to be helping her wounds heal a bit faster than was normal. 

“It probably means your magic is coming back then,” The nurse had commented. “Your body can’t heal itself with magic it doesn’t have. It’s a good sign.” Lily hadn’t responded, and the nurse simply smiled, wished her a lovely evening, and left the room. 

Just like Dr. Frankenstein said would happen, another nurse stopped by later in the evening with some dinner for Lily. She assumed it was supposed to be some kind of generically cooked chicken, with sides of mashed potatoes, a bread roll, and a fruit cup, but wondered if it wasn’t just popped out of some strange machine that molded bits of mush into semi-recognizable shapes. There was a fluorescent jell-o cup wiggling in the corner, the sight of which brought an unbidden smile to Lily’s face, and she decided it couldn’t hurt to try the food. Should something happen to her she was already in a hospital anyway. Lily scooped up a bite of potatoes, barely chewing as she recalled her earlier afternoon. 

Waking up to Roland and Will had been a surprise, to say the least, but a strangely welcome one. Lily wouldn’t admit it out loud, but their presence and adorable bantering had probably helped her more than she could say, whether or not they knew it. 

Dr. Frankenstein still gave her the creeps, but at least he seemed to care about Ruby, so he couldn’t have been all bad, right? And as much as Lily didn’t trust or like doctors she knew he was probably right about her magical debt. She’d been a shit show and a mess all week long and it was ruining her. She wasn’t sleeping well, if at all, hardly remembering to eat anything, and letting her emotions get the best of her. 

It really was a fucking miracle she’d lasted as long as she had. 

And then Her Evil Majesty had shown up. How were Roland and his dad able to stomach looking at her? How could anyone in town, for that matter? People claimed she had changed and that she was turning over a new leaf, but Lily knew that was bullshit. No one changed, not really. The queen would always be evil, just like Snow White and Charming would always be self-serving, and Emma would always get to play the hero and have the happy ending. And Lily would always get the shit end of life as darkness incarnate. That point was proven well enough when she’d tried and failed spectacularly at controlling her dragon form. But that was her lot in life, and there was no point trying to change it. 

Lily thought about what the queen had said happened to Ruby, how the she-wolf had lost control and transformed during the day at the same time as Lily. ‘Unsettling’ was the word she used, and it didn’t inspire a lot of confidence in Lily. She had mentioned something about the air being darker, or at least the magic in town being darker ever since Emma disappeared, not that Lily had really thought to notice, and something about that magic spiking for no reason. Could magic do that? Act out like an angry teenager and spike? The queen had talked about magic like it was its own entity, a living thing with its own will. 

That thought scratched at the back of Lily’s mind insistently, trying to remind her of something she had seen or heard, but she couldn’t think of whatever it was. Something about magic wanting to play, and a scaly voice… 

Maleficent’s arrival had made things marginally better. She trusted Maleficent not to let the queen hurt her again, but there was still the matter of Lily having been the one to give her mother a concussion, a minor one, but a concussion all the same. How could Maleficent ever forgive that?

The conversation had turned to Lily’s lack of control over her magic, how she was letting it fly away from her and drain her dry. How she was fighting the world on a daily basis and how apparently that meant she was fighting Emma too, fighting her and following her. 

Now they wanted to use Lily like a tracking beacon to find their precious Savior. 

Well, the queen wanted to anyway. She may have claimed she wanted to understand the cause of Lily’s transformation so she could stop it from happening again but Lily was sure that all she really wanted was to use her to get Emma back, whatever the consequences. Maleficent seemed to be the only one who actually wanted to understand the connection for the sake of it’s existence. Maybe even for the sake of helping her daughter. 

“I’ll need another day or two to gather all the ingredients again. Now that I know where to look it should go faster this time,” The queen had said hours before. “It might mean I won’t need to test my other theories, which is admittedly a little disappointing, but when the spell is ready I’ll have Henry come find you.” Lily still didn’t know what sort of theories the queen had in mind for her that she wouldn’t be too ‘fond’ of, but she was sure she’d be hearing them eventually, no matter what the queen insisted. 

The queen had left the room in a flurry and dragged Maleficent behind her; determination set on her face and phone at the ready to call in her reinforcements. As the pair left the room Maleficent had called back to her, “Lily, could I call you later? Would that be all right?”

The resurgence of uncertainty and fear in the woman’s voice had surprised Lily, and it suddenly dawned on her that Maleficent might have been more scared of being rejected by Lily than Lily was of rejection from her mother. “Um, sure?” The hopeful smile on Maleficent’s face didn’t erase all doubt in Lily’s mind that her mother might have held any sort of grudge against her for the concussion, but she was sure it was supposed to. 

The pair walked out the door before Lily could question her mother about how they would communicate without exchanging cell phone numbers. 

Their leaving pulled all the energy and life from the room, and the space turned into another lonely cavern, just like when Ruby and Jones had left Lily’s room the other day. The room was just as vacuous and cold and it reminded Lily once again of the darkness still sitting in the corner of her heart and mind, biding it’s time until it could rear its ugly and knowing head. The only difference between then and now was that Lily couldn’t leave the hospital room even if she wanted to. Normally she would have been more than happy to get out of the hospital as fast as she could, but a niggling voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like Dr. Frankenstein and Will Scarlet rolled into one told her that was a dumb idea, and besides, there was free food here, and what kind of fool skipped a free meal? 

Lily picked at the hospital dinner slowly and with little thought, smiling to herself when she finally picked up the jell-o. The gelatinous mix, still an alarming fluorescent color, tasted like pure sugar and food coloring. It was no wonder Roland had eaten as many as he did. After polishing off the jell-o cup and scraping the sides clean, she reached for the next item of food on the tray only to find there was nothing left to be eaten. 

She blinked dumbly at the empty tray, realizing that it was the most food she had eaten in one sitting in almost a week. Her stomach was filled for the first time in forever, and what should have been a satisfying fullness only felt odd and a little uncomfortable. No, not uncomfortable, unfamiliar. Forgotten. Had it really been so long since she’d eaten a full meal? It wasn’t an unwelcome feeling, and she even felt a little lighter than she had earlier in the day, like she had a little more energy. 

Glancing to the side of the room she saw that Roland’s book lay forgotten on the hard plastic chair and Lily stared at it. She knew it was probably left there accidentally, but a stupidly hopeful part of her thought it was left it there on purpose to give her something to do. Feeling a little better and a little more energized than she had in days, Lily crept from the bed and grabbed the book from the chair, bringing it back to the cot with her. She looked at the cover for several long moments, the elaborate font of the title floating above an inked image of the titular Hobbit standing in front of Smaug, before making up her mind and opening the cover, starting at the beginning with a small smile. 

‘In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.’

Lily read and lost track of time, falling into the story whole-heartedly. She found herself angry for Bilbo whenever he was made fun for his newness to life on the road, and chuckling at the antics of the dwarves mere lines later. Despite the dangers she knew were to come for the characters, she was enjoying reading about their struggles. It was easy to laugh and be hopeful when she knew the outcome, when things were guaranteed to work out and all that really needed to happen was to slay a dragon and reclaim a home. 

If only things were that simple for her, she thought, wistful. 

Bilbo and company had just met the woodland elves when she finally fell asleep; book still splayed open in her lap as she dreamt of stubborn dwarves on a quest for home and redemption. 

Lily woke to the sound of nurses and gurneys scrambling outside the room, and she cursed the interruption of what had to be the first semi-decent night of sleep she’d had in a week. A nurse must have stopped by sometime after she drifted off the night before, because the empty dinner tray was gone and Roland’s book was sitting on the table next to the flowers, a piece of scrap paper tucked carefully between the pages as a makeshift bookmark. The same nurse must not have remembered to close the door all the way, letting the sounds of sleepless hospital life fill the room. 

She could hear every few words of what was being said outside the door. There was talk of something going missing during the night, or someone, but Lily didn’t particularly care to listen in. She was more annoyed about her sleep being interrupted. As far as she could tell it really was the best night of sleep she’d had in some time. The sheets remained un-torn and she definitely didn’t remember any terrifying nightmares, so that was an improvement in her book. 

The sun filtered in through the window blinds too brightly for it to be very early in the day. The clock on the wall confirmed Lily’s suspicions, reading a little past eleven, and she silently grumbled at the notion that she’d missed a free breakfast. Logically lunch would be sometime soon, and the mushy food would be welcome, even if she would have to endure the small-talking nurse again to get it. Until then, she was just going to have to stay busy, and the only thing she really had for entertainment was Roland’s book. 

Lily reached for the book at the edge of the table, her fingers brushing against the vase of flowers, and paused. August’s note still sat nestled among the leaves, untouched and unread, needling her curiosity. The note was hardly an out of character addition to the flowers, there’d been a note on the first arrangement he’d given her years before asking her forgiveness for unknowingly stealing her already stolen lunch and wanting to make it up to her with another meal. She had agreed and it led to even more notes from him. There were post-it notes with sweet nothings on them that she would wake up to, and tiny scraps of paper with doodles or cheesy hallmark card lines tucked into her jacket pockets to find throughout the day. So while the note itself wasn’t an unusual sight among the four calla lilies, it was the potential contents that piqued Lily’s interest. 

What could he possibly have to say after more than ten years, a fucking apology, or a list of excuses? Lily wasn’t going to have any of that, not after his broken promises, not after he’d told her they could finally quit their life of small time crime and go running off into the sunset together because fuck the world, they’d make their own destiny. At the time it was almost enough to make her give up her quest for vengeance, but she had shoved any semblance of warmth and affection aside on the morning his promises proved false, when she woke up to an empty bed, an empty wallet, and for the first time in their so-called relationship, no note. 

And yet, despite all that he’d falsely promised her and all that had happened between them, the flicker of warmth refused to stop needling her, refused to let Lily get away with not satisfying her curiosity and reading the note. What harm could it do, the flicker argued? All the harm, Lily answered, all the harm and pain and then some. 

But even as her mind fought with itself, her hand shakily reached out of its own volition toward the flowers, grasping the note and flipping it over to read whatever futile thing it was he’d scribbled there. 

‘I don’t expect forgiveness for what I did. You deserve more than I could ever hope to repay. There’s a $20 tab for you at Granny’s Diner to spend on anything you want. Be well. $20/$594 – A.W.B’

The trembling only worsened as she reread what had to be the least flowery and most straightforward note she’d ever received from him. He’d come right out and said he wasn’t expecting forgiveness (Although knowing his propensity to bend the truth that was probably a bald-faced lie), and he even claimed to have left money enough for two full meals at the diner. $20/$594. That was twenty dollars out of the $594 he’d taken from her the day he left. Did that mean he wanted to pay back every dollar of it? Did he expect her to stay in town that long? Or did he expect her to leave as soon as she got the money and whatever favors she could out of him?

Whatever the reason, it didn’t stop Lily’s stomach from choosing that moment to gurgle hungrily, empty again after the previous night’s proverbial feast. The thought of eating hospital mush lost all appeal, as did the idea that she needed to wait for the nurse or doctor Frankenstein to clear her to leave the hospital. A burger from Granny’s would be a welcome change in scenery, and if someone else was paying for it, then that was even better. 

Her phone and clothes were clean and neatly folded in a small bin under the table and she grabbed for them, not caring why she hadn’t noticed them before or why they were sitting right next to her bed. Sliding the clothes on quickly, her jeans and boots and jacket, felt a little like putting on battle armor, but she knew that was a ridiculous feeling to have. Lily was going to the diner for a fucking burger, paid for by the lying ex who was clearly just trying to get back into her good graces so he could feel better about being a lying douche. If anything, she was justified to her burger. And she was justified in throwing it in his face that she was doing just fine without him. 

Finally dressed for battle, Lily straightened her shoulders in false bravado and waltzed out of the room with the note clutched in one hand and Roland’s book in the other. None of the nurses or doctors stopped her as she marched down the sterile white halls, although a few of them did turn to her curiously. They all seemed too absorbed in whatever else was going on to care that she was walking out of the building so brazenly. 

Her bravado didn’t break as she walked through town, her steps mostly sure and her arms only coming to wrap themselves around her in the last few blocks before the diner. She found the energy and motivation to march into the diner and claim a booth at the far end with a clear view of the entire restaurant, even managed to order a burger with fries and a cup of coffee, before the fear crept back in. Her shoulders slumped forward and she curled inward, wondering why the hell she was even there, in public and alone in a town where everyone talked and knew each other’s business better than their own. 

Was it really worth the public appearance for a burger she was eating just to spite someone? Probably not, but leaving now would be even worse. People had seen her, knew she ordered food. She couldn’t just up and leave when people would notice and talk. And they would talk, wouldn’t they? 

A waitress in a too tight outfit came around with a mug of blessedly steaming brown liquid and Lily wasted no time taking the mug in both hands and letting the heat seep into her. She waited until her hands stopped shaking (When had they even started that? Or had they not really stopped since reading August’s note?) before taking a few sips. The warmth slid down her throat, satisfying an ache and a craving she didn’t know she’d had, and she felt herself begin to relax a little. 

She let her mind go mostly blank, the drink easing her restless thoughts. Lily was halfway through her drink when the waitress from before came rushing over to her. “I’m so sorry!” The waitress apologized. “I mixed up the drink order for you and the other table! I didn’t mean to give you the hot chocolate! I’ll get your coffee right away! Just one minute!”

Lily’s eyes went wide and she spat her latest sip of hot chocolate back into the mug. What the flying fuck?

She watched in confusion and horror as the waitress scurried off to correct a drink order Lily didn’t know needed correcting. She chanced a look down at the mug in her hands and sure enough, the brown liquid staring back at her was decidedly more solid and opaque than coffee, and if she thought about the taste lining her mouth and tongue it had a definite sweetness to it. Lily nearly dropped the mug onto the tabletop in her haste to get it away from her. She hated sweets, always had. Why the fuck hadn’t she noticed that her coffee tasted like edible cavities instead of liquid caffeine? 

The waitress came back with an actual cup of coffee (Lily sniffed it thoroughly this time) and another profuse apology, taking the half-empty hot chocolate away and promising no charge on the bill for either drink. Soon after, Lily’s burger came out with what looked like an extra helping of fries on top. 

Lily stared at the food for several moments, half her thoughts still fixated on the drink mishap. Her impatient stomach gurgled at the wafting aroma of the perfectly cooked meat, urging her to dig in, and she obeyed without further question. Every bite into the juicy burger, every salty French fry and gulp of invigorating coffee, it all settled warmly in Lily’s stomach, filling her quickly. In a matter of minutes she devoured most of the food on her plate and was forced to sit back and let the food settle. Two full sized meals in a little over twelve hours was a more than she could handle right then, but she couldn’t let any of the food go to waste; it wasn’t in her to leave food on her plate. 

“This seat taken lass?” A smooth voice interrupted her quiet. 

Lily jerked her head up and had barely shaken her head ‘no’ when the pirate slid into the seat, hand and hook coming to rest on the table. He seemed more weathered than when Lily had seen him last, his eyes and the circles under them a little darker, his shoulders hanging just a little lower. Killian Jones looked every bit like a man on his last leg, and it touched at something inside Lily to see him like that.

As Lily’s eyes continued to look him over, she noticed a thick bandage just under his nearly open shirt and her eyes narrowed. “Is that…?”

“Ah, well spotted. Aye, I got the tattoo,” Jones answered, his voice a touch bittersweet as his hand tapped the bandage hiding the newly inked swan. “First tattoo in this realm, that should be a cause for at least some celebration, no?”

“I guess?”

“Rum would have been my preferred method of celebration, however, as I’m attempting to cut back…” Jones reached across the table, swiping a French fry from Lily’s plate and saluting her with it before popping it into his mouth. “Cheers.” A look of forced contentment came over him, and his eyes closed to savor the taste. “The fried potato sticks are an addictive delight, I’ll admit, but Swan and I both have a fondness for the fried onions.”

“Onion rings. They’re called onion rings,” She corrected, wondering why the hell he was talking about food and why he was there at all. 

“Aye, those,” Jones answered with a dismissive wave. “Bloody intoxicating they are. Such a wondrous food from such a common thing as an onion. And lobster! In the Enchanted Forest lobster is a poor man’s food, but here, it’s a veritable delicacy! Is there nothing common in this realm that can’t be made deliciously divine?”

“You’re not just here to steal my lunch and talk about food, are you?” Lily questioned, growing frustrated with the pirate.

“No, I’m not.” Blue eyes dropped to the table in guilt and his fingers tapped and twisted a senseless and distracting pattern on the table. “Lass, is it true that…” 

“Is what true?”

“That you can find Emma?” He pleaded, gaze lifting to bore into hers. 

The intensity of his stare threw Lily for a moment. She had already thought of him as being on his last leg, but to see him looking at her so pleadingly, needing and desperate… Maybe unsettling wasn’t such a poor word choice after all. “I dunno. Her majesty thinks I can.”

“Her majesty Regina thought Emma’s parents could find her. Blood finds blood, you know. When that didn’t work Henry endeavored to try but even his blood couldn’t find her. You may be our last hope.” Hope. That was something Lily never had, and now they expected her to provide it? 

“She said that at the hospital yesterday.”

Jones’ face fell instantly into an even guiltier look. “My apologies, lass. That was rude of me. How are you doing after…?”

“I’m fine, I think. It’s nothing,” She insisted.

“It’s not nothing. How are you?”

“Why do you even care? I’m not gonna Hulk out or anything, if that’s what you mean,” Lily snapped. At his confusion, she rolled her eyes and added, “I’m not gonna, you know, transform or go all scaly or whatever.” 

He shook his head. “I never said… Lass, that’s not what I meant. I’m asking as a friend. How are you feeling?”

“Fine, hungry, tired, I dunno,” Lily quipped, wanting to talk about anything but herself. “Why didn’t the queen’s spell work? You said blood finds blood.”

Jones sighed quietly; finally aware he wouldn’t be getting a straight answer from her. “I don’t know the exact nature of the spell, but it involves pouring a few drops of one’s blood onto a special sphere of the Crocodile’s. Regina thought to extend the range of the sphere with a few additional spells, but they proved ineffective.”

“Crocodile?”

“Ah, the name I gave the Dark… Rumplestiltskin, when he was the Dark One. His skin was covered in scales much like a crocodile and his voice was just as reptilian and conniving.”

Something about the mental image of a man covered in scales was familiar, and pricked at the edges of her memory, or maybe not memory, maybe at the edges of a dream?

“I’ve no idea what will happen to the man now that the darkness has been torn from him, but as long as he doesn’t end his sentences with ‘dearie’ anymore, I’ll count it as a start to something better,” Hook continued, expression dark and a little bitter. 

“Dearie…” The mental image of the previous Dark One was coming together in Lily’s mind, in fuller detail than she could ever recall seeing. She could see a man with dulled, wavy hair, the color muted and aged; A man with claws for hands, sharp but not so sharp as his tongue; A reptilian looking man with all the presence of a dragon and a voice to match. “Was he in the woods?”

“Lass?”

She shook her head, willing herself to forget the dream. “It’s nothing, forget it.”

Jones didn’t want to let it slide. “That doesn’t sound like nothing. Have you seen something?”

Lily shrugged helplessly. “I don’t… The woods? I think? There was a bunch of mist and fog and this creepy reptile guy was telling me to put up another barrier so no one could watch.”

“Telling you? Or telling someone near you?” He questioned, eyes still dark but beginning to burn with a feverish need to know. 

“He was looking right at me Jones. I think I know when someone’s talking to me and not to someone else.”

The answer seemed to frustrate him and his mouth thinned briefly. “And did you raise the barrier like he wanted?”

“I didn’t- No, I couldn’t do anything. I don’t know how much control you think you have in dreams but I was just there and he was talking to me and someone else was moving around.” 

“Was it Emma?” He asked, voice turning to pleading again.

Emma. Always Emma. Fucking Emma. “I don’t fucking know!” She growled, not caring that people were starting to stare at her outburst. “It was just a dream, a really weird dream in a really creepy place with a seriously creepy reptile guy who called me ‘dearie’. What do you want me to say?”

Jones leaned back against the wall of the booth, his mouth partly agape. The corner of his lips twitched upwards and the darkness in his eyes receded to something almost recognizable as a fool’s hope. “Lass, whether or not you realize it, you’ve just shown Regina’s theory may very well be true.” 

Lily scoffed at that. “Which one? She said she had a bunch she wanted to test. Is this about the whole connection thing and me and Emma following each other around the country?”

“Partially, but it’s more about another theory of hers, one that I’m now inclined to believe,” He answered, his fingers coming up to rub at his chin in a cryptic manner that only annoyed Lily even more.

“The hell are you talking about? I told you it was just a weird dream,” She insisted, the words unconvincing even to her own ears.

“No it wasn’t, and I do believe I have a phone call to make to her majesty about it.” Jones stood up from the booth, pulling a cell phone from his pocket. “And we are friends, lass, believe it or not.”

“Says who?” She asked, knowing what his answer would probably be. 

“Says me. Friends call on each other when they want to, not just in times of necessity. My heart may be set on finding Emma, but that’s no reason to neglect the well being of a friend, hence my coming to see you on this lovely day. Also…” He walked over to one of the passing waiters and swiped a pen from their apron pocket, waltzing back to Lily’s booth in several sure steps. He reached for an unused napkin, holding it steady with his hook, and scribbled out a line of numbers. Jones pocketed the pen and held the napkin out in front of Lily. “Should you need it, the number for my talking phone. Call any time.”

The napkin dangled in front of her while Jones’ eyes held Lily’s expectantly. She reached out a tentative hand and took the napkin from him, glancing at the numbers and memorizing them quickly (A habit engrained in her as a teenager when stealing credit card numbers was a quick way to get some cash). A satisfied smile broke out on the pirate’s features and with that, Jones walked out the door and into the afternoon, his shoulders a little higher than before. 

Lily stared at the closed door for several long moments before turning her attention to the phone number and her mostly empty plate. Jones’ words about friends calling on each other mulled over in her head. 

“Hey, uh, Granny? Er, Mrs. Lucas?” Lily called out, pulling her phone from her pants pocket and quickly entering Jones’ number. It couldn’t hurt to have the number, she figured. 

The elderly woman came over with her hands on her hips and an amused grin face. “Just Granny, dear. It’s what everyone else calls me, you might as well join in.”

“Right, um, Granny…” The word stuck oddly on Lily’s tongue. “About the rest of that $20 tab, can I use it on one of those giant to-go cartons of hot chocolate?”

“Just one carton?” Granny asked. “You could get two if you want? There’s enough money leftover for it. It’s not all for just you, is it?"

The hint of a smile crept onto Lily’s face and her hand fell to the bench where Roland’s book sat next to her. “No, none of it’s for me. It’s for a gaggle of Merry Men.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact #2. Multiple geese are called a ‘gaggle’ or a ‘flock’ (Think a ‘school’ of fish or an ‘army’ of ants or even a ‘business’ of ferrets. Yes, that last one is true, although I’m not sure how much business they really get done when they’re constantly dressed like it’s casual Friday.) unless the geese are flying in the air, in which case they are called a ‘skein’. Gotta love those Snapple Cap Facts. 
> 
> Read and Review


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least this time when Lily goes to see the Merry Men she’ll actually get there. Thanks again for all the kind words and I apologize once more for the lack of an update schedule with this fic! It will definitely not be finished by the time S5 starts next Sunday but I’m hoping to get this and one more chapter up before then, and I’ll keep updating during S5.

The woods really were the best place for her, Lily decided. The air was crisper among the thicket of trees, and there was a softness to the fallen pine needles and leaves that was severely lacking in civilization. She took a deep breath in, letting the afternoon air fill her lungs and not even caring that the overpowering scent of hot chocolate found its way inside her too. 

The two large to-go boxes of hot chocolate, one sloshing in either hand, and the bag of crackers and day old bread rolls Granny had thrown in for free (“Someone’s gotta eat ‘em, might as well be Robin’s people,” She’d remarked.) did nothing to weigh her down or stop the spring in her step as she waltzed through the trees. She felt lighter than she had in days. Maybe it was because she’d actually had a decent meal and a night of uninterrupted sleep, or maybe it was just something in the air. Whatever it was, it was like walking on a rainbow and any second she’d reach the end and find a pot of gold there, or in her case, a troop of Merry Men and a kid missing his book. 

There was some truth to what Jones had said about friends calling on each other, and while they weren’t friends, per se, Lily knew she liked being around Will and Roland a lot more than she liked being around strangers in Granny’s diner. And if she liked Will and Roland and they seemed fine with the rest of the Merry Men then maybe she could try and be civil with the rest of them too. She was sure it was better than eating a burger alone out of spite. 

Lily still didn’t understand where that flicker of hope about meeting people was coming from, but it got stronger the closer she came to the Merry Men’s camp. It grew strong enough to push aside the stampede of thoughts and darkness still swirling in her mind, trying in vain to grab her attention and pull her back. ‘Go back to the diner,’ the darkness urged. ‘Maybe you can get that lying ex to pay for more than just a burger. He said you deserved more than he could ever hope to repay, take him up on it. Buy out the restaurant on his dime.’ 

She forcibly shook her head and cleared the thoughts away, focusing instead on the growing noise just beyond the trees, breaking the silence of the forest with the sounds of people and life. Lily paused behind one of the taller trees to hide and observe the camp for a moment before making her entrance. She could see a group of about six people sitting on logs and stones surrounding a crackling fire. Apparently, it being the early afternoon hadn’t stopped the group from wanting a large fire to gather around. Lily couldn’t see everyone’s faces, nor did she recognize all of them, but she saw Will Scarlet on the far side of the fire sitting next to not-so-Little John, and instantly picked out Roland’s hobbit-like form from behind as he sat scrunched between another pair of grown men and his father. 

The usual butterflies and dread filled her as she stood on the edge of social interaction. The group’s raucous laughter, a sound that usually sent a curl of pain, loathing, and sheer discomfort through Lily, for once was accompanied by a sense of longing. This wasn’t a television family in front of her, or at least, not a conventional one with a picket fence, two and half kids, and a Levittown suburban home. This was a group of outlaws just trying to make their way in the world, people who had made mistakes or had no luck in life, coming together in a sense of camaraderie. Lily could finally admit that maybe she wanted that too. A cookie-cutter family and home wasn’t in the cards for her, not like Maleficent probably wanted, but a rag tag group of misfits that didn’t necessarily belong anywhere might be her best shot at something akin to family. 

Several steadying breaths later Lily felt like she had steeled herself enough for the inevitable onslaught of welcome and social interaction that was to come, and stepped out slowly into the clearing. 

Will Scarlet was the first to spot her. “Lily! You made it! I knew you’d be by eventually!” He cried out as she broke through the tree line. 

Roland twisted around quickly on his seat, bouncing excitedly as he yelled out, “Smaug! Smaug’s here!” 

Lily kept her stare focused on Will instead of the turning heads of the rest of the group, knowing that if she kept looking at a familiar face it would give her enough nerve to keep moving forward. Will pulled himself away from the small circle of people and approached her, a genuine and friendly grin on his face. That grin turned into a smirk when he caught sight of what she was holding in her hands. “Is that what I think it is?”

Lily pressed her lips thinly together to stop her smile. “Hot chocolate straight from the diner. I’ve got some day old bread rolls too, and some crackers.”

His grin only widened. “A right saint you are lass! Come on and ‘ave a seat. Oy! John, clear a spot for the lady!” Will called out. He took the bread bag and one of the to-go boxes from her, glancing at the book tucked under her arm as they approached the circle. 

“Oh, I uh, I have Roland’s book too. He left it at the hospital yesterday,” She explained hurriedly.

Will barked out a loud laugh at that, to Lily’s confusion. “Oh, Robin’s gonna love that! The hobbit was a little hellion last night. He refused to sleep without that story so his dad and Regina ‘ad to act it out! That was blackmail worthy! Gods, if only I’d had a camera!”

Even Lily couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her at the mental image of Robin Hood and the Evil Queen acting out all the parts of The Hobbit. She wondered distantly how they had split up the parts of the various dwarves before forcing the thoughts of a domestic Evil Queen aside. 

“Will, what’re you telling our guest?” Robin chimed in from the circle, turning his head around to face Lily and Will. His presence instantly put Lily on edge and she glanced around quickly looking for a head of dark hair and an evil aura. 

“Nothing but the latest blackmail! Lily needs some ammunition gossip of her own and your shrill turn as Bilbo Baggins is a perfect starting point!” Will laughed. He turned to Lily, expecting to see a smirk on her face, but seemed to catch on to her wandering eyes and discomfort and muttered, “She’s not here, lass. Regina’s still workin’ on that new tracking spell for ya. She’s not stopping by tonight.”

Lily’s shoulders lowered from her ears visibly and Will took that as a sign to introduce her to the group. “Right then, Lily Page, this is everyone, or uh, mostly everyone. Mostly everyone, this here’s Lily.” There were nods of greeting and Lily lifted her wrist in a tired and shy wave, taking in all of their faces and deciding none of them seemed too outright threatening, although she couldn’t be sure of that until she actually talked to them. She knew first hand how deceiving appearances could be. 

Roland was still bouncing excitedly on the overturned log that served as his seat and Lily turned to him. “Here you go, kid. You left this at the hospital yesterday,” She said, handing him his book. 

His eyes lit up like the sun and he grabbed at the book, clutching it tightly to his chest. His father nudged him, his eyes glancing tellingly to Lily. Roland caught the message loud and clear. “Thank you Smaug,” He said cutely.

“Roland, what did we talk about?” His father urged.

“Lily. Thank you Lily,” Roland corrected, cheeks reddening and hands tightening their grasp on the thick text. 

“Oh, it’s fine, really, um…” Lily didn’t know how to say that the nickname still didn’t bother her. In fact, she kind of liked having it, even if it was based on a wormy dragon she wouldn’t want to emulate. Somehow, when Roland called her Smaug it was endearing and the flicker of warmth inside her fluttered happily at the sound. “I don’t mind…”

“Come and sit, lass. There’s room over by me and John,” Will said pulling her around the fire. 

She followed him to the other side of the circle where an empty milk crate sat between two logs. Lily sat down, still a little nervous and fighting the urge to scoot her makeshift seat backwards out of the circle, but she fought to stay still, to let herself be around other people and not worry quite so much what they thought of her. 

Empty mugs were filled with mostly warm hot chocolate, bread rolls were passed around gleefully, and with a fire in front of her and the Merry Men around her, Lily felt more or less at peace for the first time that she could ever remember. She wiled away the afternoon listening to old tales of thieving glory and shenanigans. There were stories like the ones she’d read about in books, about Robin Hood sneaking into archery contests and winning them anonymously, and others she hadn’t heard, about sneaking into the castles of various sorcerers to pilfer gold and magic. 

(“Do us a solid and don’t remind your mum of that heist, lass. It’s not like she needs the gold or that looking glass back anyhow.”) 

(“Looking glass… A mirror? Will, you stole a mirror from Maleficent? Why?”) 

(“Oh, no reason… Maybe I just wanted a regular look-see at my ‘andsome face?”) 

(“Liar.”)

As they talked and Lily listened with open ears, she felt herself relaxing, her shoulders dropped and her stony mask broke enough for the tiniest of smiles to crack her lips. It should have scared her, how easily the band of misfits broke down her stony exterior when she really knew none of them, and it did, it scared her shitless. But that fear wasn’t so insurmountable now, it wasn’t something vast and dark and terrible like her fears usually were, which confused her beyond anything, but at that moment she didn’t want to question it. She only wanted to enjoy this peace while it lasted and maybe have a nice memory for when shit finally hit the fan and reality came crashing down on her like it inevitably would. Because it always did, that was just her lot in life. 

Lily couldn’t be bothered to look at her phone (Although part of her vaguely remembered expecting a call from Maleficent at some point.) or to ask what time it was, but the setting sun and Roland’s continued insistence that his stomach was making “empty sounds” made her think it was close to dinner time. A pot was set up over the fire and Little John retrieved a cooler filled with ice packs and leftover food in plastic bins. He pulled out a large vat of something that looked like stew, and set to heating up the leftover dinner over the fire. She marveled silently at the combination of modern convenience with simpler living, and at the obviously communal nature of their group. It didn’t escape her notice how even though Roland was Robin’s son, everyone in the group played a large role in taking care of the kid. Everyone took care of everyone and everyone lent a hand. 

(She found herself just a little jealous of Roland in that instant, of how obviously he was loved and cared for by so many. It was almost the same way that she had been jealous of Emma when she was brought to Storybrooke and realized her friend had found a family of sorts that cared for her just as strongly. The realization only reminded Lily of the emptiness inside her that had never been filled with that sort of care.)

Roland and one of the nameless Merry Men gathered up eight bowls and spoons to split the stew into, and Lily narrowed her eyes at the extra bowl, counting only seven people around the circle. 

“You’re not saving a seat for Elijah, are you?” Lily asked, only half serious.

“Whose Elijah?” Little John questioned, handing out bowls of warm stew to everyone in the group. 

Confusion was apparent on his face and that of all the Merry Men and Lily struggled to clarify her remark. “The extra bowl, this Rabbi I met once… Nevermind. Forget I said anything,” She mumbled, embarrassed. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know anyone named Elijah, but we do have another guest coming. He should have been here by now,” Robin noted, glancing around the edge of the camp as if he expected someone to pop into existence at that moment. 

“We do?” Will asked. His confusion mirrored Lily’s own and she couldn’t decide if she was appreciative or worried about the shared moment of uncertainty.

“Aye, we do. Roland wanted more practice whittling and insisted on an expert teacher instead of his own father,” Robin added, looking just a little put out and jealous of this mysterious teacher. It was easy to see where Roland had learned that particular facial expression, and Lily had to press her lips flat to keep a smile from breaking out on her face. 

The cheerful moment was short lived, however, when a man’s voice sounded from somewhere behind Lily at the edge of the tree line. A voice that sent chills down Lily’s spine with its smoothened timbre and deep tones. A voice that she had been dreading hearing again ever since it came back into her life just the other day. 

“Well I’m sorry if other people recognize my talents for what they are, Robin. I can’t help it if I was taught by the very best or that Roland wants to learn,” August called out from behind her. 

Lily felt her shoulders jump to her ears as her breath stopped short. Around her, the Merry Men greeted August warmly, and Roland was back to squirming excitedly in his seat at the arrival of his whittling teacher, but Lily refused to turn around to see the man. She could hear him walking toward their circle, could hear his every footfall on the softened leaves that cushioned the forest floor. And because she could hear every step, she knew the instant he recognized her from behind by the silence that suddenly stretched through the clearing, echoing louder than his previous steps had. 

It was too much to hope he would turn around and walk away, and the footfalls started up again, although now with a slight hesitancy to them. Of course, Lily admitted she may have been imagining that, but to what end, she had no idea.

A seat was opened for August next to Roland and as he circled the fire and came into view Lily finally got her first glimpse of the man in more than a decade. The awkward teenager was gone, and in his place stood a man more firmly built, wrapped in a leather biker jacket that had clearly seen better days (It wouldn’t have surprised her in the least if he still had a motorcycle, romantic vagabond that he always thought he was.). The dark curls on his head were the same as they had been before, but the beard was new, and Lily didn’t honestly know how she felt about it’s presence (There was a fleeting urge to trace her fingers through it just to feel if the texture was different from the softness of his hair but she squashed that urge like a bug under foot, just like she squashed the flicker that noticed the years had been very good to August W. Booth.).

As he sat down his eyes fell on Lily, widening slightly in continued surprise. Lily swore she saw him mouth her name in silent question, but she tore her eyes away before her traitorous mind could identify the spark of something warm in his gaze. 

“August! How’d you wind up on that side of the forest? Lose your way, did you?” Robin greeted the latest arrival. 

“What? Uh, yeah, I guess…” August’s had to visibly shake himself back into focus, pulling his attention away from Lily. “Did you guys move camp again?”

Robin stared at him curiously. “Last week. Didn’t I tell you the other day?”

“Something must’ve come up that made me forget…” August muttered. His eyes flickered back to Lily briefly before peeling away. If she focused on his eyes Lily thought she might have seen a tinge of guilt flash through them, but she refused to look that closely. 

“That reminds me, how’d you find our camp anyhow Lily?” Little John asked around a bite of stew-dipped bread, startling Lily. “Did Scarlet tell you where we’d be when he saw you at the hospital?”

“Huh? No, I already- Uh…” Her hands fidgeted awkwardly in her lap around the mug of stew as she realized that no one had told her where the camp was. She only knew because she’d seen it while flying over the forest in her dragon form and remembered vaguely. “Yeah, Will told me…” Lily lied. Little John clearly didn’t believe her but he didn’t question her further, turning back to August to start talking about whittling knives, not that August seemed to be very involved in the conversation. 

“Y’alright lass?” Will nudged her when he saw her hands clenching white around the half empty bowl.

Lily stayed silent, her eyes flicking between August and the crackling fire between them. Scarlet noticed where she was looking but waited for her to say something. “Of all the places in this stupid town, why does he have to show up here?” She muttered. 

“Who, the puppet? He’s everywhere these days, at least since he grew up again. Re-learnin’ the town I guess, now he’s got a bird’s eye view and all,” Will mentioned.

Lily shot him a confused look and Will answered with a roll of his eyes. “I don’t know the whole of it, but word is he grew up in this realm, came to Storybrooke after 28 years when he started turning back to wood, got turned back into a little kid, and then got turned back into an adult a few weeks ago by your mum and her girl squad posse.” A raised eyebrow and incredulous stare was all the response from Lily that Will needed to quickly add that, “Stranger things have happened in this town. Trust me, this is nothin’.”

“But why would Maleficent…?” 

“Information, probably. Puppet boy knows a lot more than he lets on, always has. But I’m guessing you sorta knew that about ‘im, didn’t ya?”

Lily glared at him and scowled, curling tightly inward and silently cursing Will’s apparent ability to read her so well. It was true that August had always been unnervingly good at keeping his cards close to his chest, so to speak. His smiles always held secrets and his words were always chosen with obvious care, but Will Scarlet wouldn’t have had any way of knowing that, and he seemed to be in an inquisitive and stubborn mood now, so he kept at it.

“So what’s your story? You and ‘im?” 

“Nothing worth repeating,” Lily quipped.

“But worth still being sore ‘bout?” He replied, leaning in briefly. “You went white as a sheet when you saw those flowers he sent ya in the hospital, lass. And that note he left said an awful lot ‘bout what probably happened ‘tween you two.”

“You read his note?” She accused, incredulous and just a little betrayed. 

He shrugged. “Occupational habit, lass. And if you’ll recall, Roland read the note too.”

With another glare and another tightening of her arms around herself, Lily watched with narrowed eyes through the fire as Roland showed off his latest whittling creation to August, who oohed and ahhed and heaped on all the right praise for the child. 

Will easily noticed her not-subtle glances. “Stop me if I’m wrong, but I’m gonna guess that you two were together somehow and you liked ‘im a lot back in the day. Maybe you loved ‘im, or maybe you weren’t there yet, but something pulled you two apart that kept you from getting closure. So even though you wanna be angry and probably burn ‘im to a crisp, part of you never got over it ‘cause you never had the chance to. And it had a lot to do with him ending things badly. Am I close?”

Lily’s eyes widened in fear and anger, and when she turned to the younger man expecting a gloating sneer, she was surprised to find empathy and a face that had aged too much in too little time. 

“There really is too much o’ that in this town…” He sighed sadly. “Lass, as someone who was left behind for all the worst reasons and never got me own closure till it was almost too late, and guessing what I have about the history between you two, I’d say you owe him nothing. You don’t owe him forgiveness, and he don’t deserve you after what probably happened. But you owe it to yourself to get some closure on the whole thing, even if it’s just once. After that, at least you’ll be moving on with a clearer head.”

Lily snorted at that. “So what then, we talk and then I just pretend he’s not in town and ignore him whenever we happen to run into each other? This place is tiny, and everyone gossips like a bunch of bored housewives.”

“So you’re planning on sticking ‘round then?” Will asked, amused and surprised. His expression barely waivered when Lily turned sharply on him, but he didn’t push her further on her not-travel plans. “If you wanna avoid ‘im, that’s your call, lass. But you’re right, place this tiny you’ll have to face each other eventually. Might as well be on your terms, yeah? I wish I’d had that luxury.” 

Lily watched a haunted flicker pass over Will’s face and wisely chose not to comment on it. Instead, she allowed herself a brief glance back at August, who had taken hold of Roland’s hands and was showing him a better way to hold his knife when carving the wood statuette in his hands. The sheer domesticity of the moment sent a shiver through Lily and she turned away, eyes gluing back onto her bowl of stew. She had no more appetite, but forced down the last several bites of the meal and wiped the rest clean with a piece of bread. At the very least it gave her something to occupy herself with. 

The laughter and merriment of the meal continued around her, but Lily barely heard it. Earlier the sounds and stories had washed through her, relaxing her and making her feel at peace. But now the sounds were muted and felt as if they were bouncing off of her skin, never quite making it through enough to be felt and experienced. The air of the forest had changed too, even if she seemed to be the only one who noticed. It seemed colder, heavier, more chaotic, reminding her of the night she’d run away from Henry and Jones back to the room at Granny’s. The night she’d had one of her more terrifying dreams about a glittering and clawed hand crushing a heart to dust. The darkness seemed appreciative of the shift in the air, which unnerved Lily and set her on edge. If the darkness inside her was happy about something then that couldn’t be a good sign. 

The growing lack of daylight and the clanking of spoons against empty bowls signaled the end of the meal. Bowls were collected and cleaned, dinnerware was put away, and Roland was ushered off to get ready for bed. 

“Smaug! Read to me please!” Roland demanded, surprising everyone in the circle at his preferred choice in bedtime storyteller for the night. It was more of an order than a request, and Roland’s father tried to encourage his son to rephrase his words more politely, but with little success. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to lass,” Robin told her. “Roland’s never been shy ‘bout asking for exactly what he wants, but sometimes he forgets that other people have things they want too.”

“Actually, I don’t mind…” Lily said, surprising everyone except Will and even August, who looked at her with a knowing and only half concealed grin. 

“You sure?” Robin asked again, a hint of a smile in his eyes. 

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Lily shifted on the milk crate, hands fidgeting in her lap. “Besides, I hear you gave a hell of a performance last night. I’d hate for you to tire yourself out two nights in a row!” She teased, sending the group to laughing and Robin to chuckling in embarrassment. 

“All right then. Roland, Lily’s agreed but you still need to be ready for bed before she can read to you. So the sooner you’re ready, the sooner she can get to the story,” Robin told his son, who nodded enthusiastically. The speed at which Roland ran off to prepare for bed was almost comically fast, and Lily was left blinking dumbly at his enthusiasm. 

“Think it’s safe to say the lad’s excited, lass?” Will deadpanned next to her, another smile on his face. Lily didn’t try to stop the small smile that broke out over her features this time, and she didn’t try to stop the warmth from spreading through her, letting it grow from just a flicker in her heart to a blooming heat in her chest. 

Lily couldn’t begin to describe what she felt in that moment. Sure, there was relief at the chance to leave the circle where August was still sitting, but more than that was the warmth that dared to creep its way through her at being wanted. She’d been asked to do something. Her. Not someone else, and not just because no one else was around to do it. For whatever reason, she’d been chosen, and she was going to make damn sure that choice didn’t blow up in her face. It would be a great way to end an almost perfect afternoon, a beautiful memory to have for the shit to come. 

The mugs of hot chocolate were soon replaced with something stronger, but Lily abstained, deciding she just wasn’t in the mood to drink. Something about the way the evening was turning out made her want to keep a clear head. She couldn’t decide whether that was from the newly found chill in the air or the elation of being chosen for something, but thought it best not to question it. 

As it turned out, she wasn’t only one abstaining. “No thanks, I should really get going…” August answered when he was offered a drink too. His eyes fell briefly on Lily, and she pulled away again, missing the downcast of his eyes. 

Roland came running back to the group, book clutched in his arms, and raced around the circle to where Lily still sat on the milk crate. “Smaug! Lily, story time! Story please!” Roland tugged impatiently on Lily’s hand, and she let him drag her away from the group easily. 

They made their way over to one of the larger tents, presumably shared by Robin and his son if the pair of bedrolls lying on the ground was anything to go by. Roland clambered underneath a set of blankets and looked at Lily expectantly, book in hand and practically bouncing where he sat. 

“Ok, um… Where did you get to in the story?” Lily asked, trying to settle next to him in the small space. The tent may have been larger than some of the others but it was still a little cramped. 

“Smaug left the mountain! And no one knew where he went,” Roland informed her, eyes beaming and still bouncing in place. 

Lily fought the urge to roll her eyes at his energy. She realized that getting the kid to sleep might take a bit of time if he was this excited. “But what chapter is that?”

Roland shrugged cutely, large eyes still staring at her expectantly for his story. Lily sighed and started flipping through the book at random, reading excerpts from the story and looking to the kid for confirmation that he had or hadn’t heard those parts before. “Ok, ‘So Bilbo told them all he could remember, and he confessed that he had a nasty feeling that the dragon guessed too much from his riddles added to the camps and the ponies’-”

Roland interrupted her before she got too much further. “I heard that part already!” 

“You did? Ok, then…” She skipped ahead a few pages. “How about here? ‘As a matter of fact two nights and the day had gone by (and not altogether without food) since the dragon smashed the magic door’…”

“I heard that too!” Roland grumbled. 

Lily shook her head in dismay. “Kid, are we gonna get to the end of this book and you’ll just tell me to read the whole thing again for your bed time story? ‘Cause that’s not happening.” Roland pouted and glanced downward, and Lily immediately felt guilty. “Oh shi-shoot. Roland I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I’ll keep looking.” She flipped through another few pages. “ What about this. ‘Now if you wish, like the dwarves, to hear news of Smaug, you must go back again to the evening when he smashed the door and flew off in rage, two days before.” 

When Roland didn’t stop her this time, and a sideways glance at the kid revealed the curious and enraptured face of a new section of story, Lily sighed in relief. “‘The men of the lake-town Esgaroth were mostly indoors, for the breeze was from the black East and chill, but a few were walking on the quays, and watching, as they were fond of doing, the stars shine out from the smooth patches of the lake as they opened in the sky.’” 

Lily read through Smaug’s chaotic desolation of the town with as much drama as she could muster. Acting had never been her strong suit, and trying to come up with voices for each of the parts was exhausting and just a little nerve wracking (She remembered distantly when August used to read aloud to her from sections of the articles he wrote for small papers, how his voice carried easily and beautifully through a room and kept her engaged even through the most mundane of topics.). 

Roland gasped and oohed and ahhed at all the right points, and Lily could tell he was physically holding himself back from bursting out with questions and worries about the story. But eventually, even the energizer bunny that was Roland Locksley began to tire. His eyes drooped adorably and he swayed where he sat, stubbornly refusing to lie down for fear of missing any of the action. By the time the kid finally fell asleep, the dwarves had locked themselves away in their mountain, refusing the offers of peace with the Elves and the people of the lake town, all sides on the edge of war. 

Ear-marking the page and laying the book down next to Roland’s bed roll, Lily crept from the tent and made her way back to the fire where the rest of the Merry Men were still sitting. She didn’t see August around, and Lily let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding. She walked back toward the fire with her arms wrapped tight around her, moving to sit down once again on the milk crate.

“Thanks for reading to Roland,” Robin told Lily, noticing her return to the circle. “I think he likes having different people read it to ‘im almost as much as he likes the story itself,” He chuckled. 

“It was nice…” Lily admitted. She glanced at the darkened sky, the sun having just finished setting and the only light left being the pink and red hues of sunset striping through the thick trees and the still-burning fire in the pit. “I should get going though. Thanks for letting me hang around today.”

Robin smiled warmly at her. “You’re welcome here anytime lass.” 

“Yeah, ‘specially if you bring food!” Will teased. His expression turned thoughtful a moment later. “You sure ‘bout heading out though? It’ll be completely dark soon, that’s no time for anyone to be wanderin’ the woods.”

“Will’s right, you can stay the night if you want? There’s plenty o’ room,” Little John added. 

“I think we have a spare tent and bed roll,” One of the nameless Merry Men supplied. “We’ll help you set it up if you like.”

“Oh no, um, I really don’t think I should…” Lily protested quietly. 

But the others were already nodding in agreement and Robin started calling out orders for someone to find the spare tent and a blanket and to pick out a spot for the small shelter near some of the other tents. Will pulled Lily over to the new campsite and the group helped her set up the tent, help she didn’t really need but was grateful for all the same. 

Maybe staying around for the night wouldn’t be a bad idea, she thought, staking the corners of the tent to the ground with stones. 

By the time the tent was set up and ready for occupation though, Lily decided she would rather just fall into bed then stay up and watch the Merry Men drink. She’d had enough social interaction for one day and she could feel the weariness overtaking her, preying heavily on her. The group bid her good night before returning to their campfire drinks and she crawled into the bedroll to try and fall asleep. But sleep never came, and Lily was left alternately tossing and turning and staring at the cloth tent above her while her thoughts raced, disoriented and impossible to concentrate on. 

Something was off, Lily decided. For all that the afternoon had been wonderful and delightful (Surprise appearances by lying ex-boyfriends definitely not included.), there was still a chill to the air, and a heaviness that made the darkness inside her gleeful and giddy. Lily shivered at the resurgent thought of her darkness and huffed in frustration. August showing up had thrown her for a loop, yes, but he wasn’t the reason for the strange wave of discomfort and chaos that seemed to be floating through the air. Something was happening and she had no idea what, and given what she’d been told about her supposed magic and the magic in town being connected to Emma, that was probably something to worry about. 

Lily rubbed at the space above her heart, the flicker there fighting against the gleeful darkness. Shoving the thoughts and discomforts aside as best as she could, she forced her eyes shut and tried to let herself fall into something that resembled sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read and Review and drop a line as always!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I may have been a little excited to write this chapter… And I may have rewritten it about ten times whilst writing all the previous chapters. Hope you all like it!
> 
> R&R as always.

Lily never really fell asleep. 

Every time her eyelids fell and she thought her body would finally succumb to blissful rest, something cold and dark shot through her, sending her to quaking among the sheets and curling in on herself. Lily recognized the darkened feeling in the air, it was similar to the darkness inside her, but it felt stronger, more ominous, and old. Really fucking old. It was more like the air from the forest in her dreams; the one where a scaly dragon man had been talking to not-her and the mist surrounding them had been almost drenched in darkness. 

She moved to pull the blanket over her head in an effort to hide away from the world again, only to be met with the sound of tearing fabric. Lily’s eyes widened and she froze, fear gripping her. Her hands shook as she tried to uncurl them, tried to force her fingers free of the fabric, but the talons that grew in her sleep were snagged in the blanket and trying to pull them free only ripped the blanket more. 

Breathe, she tried to tell herself, just give it a count of ten and breathe and maybe the claws will go away. One, two, three. Lily took several shaky breaths, willing herself to calm down. Four, five six. There was nothing out there to get her. She was safe in the camp. Seven, eight. Nothing except the invisible darkness still eating at her that felt stronger than ever for some reason. Nine, ten. With another steadier breath Lily felt the claws retreat under her skin, her nails shrinking down and pulling themselves free of the blanket. 

Fucking great, she sighed, collapsing back against the bedroll. She was still transforming in her sleep. A repeat night of calm like the one in the hospital yesterday was clearly too much to hope for. But at least there weren’t any creeping dreams this time. 

Lily stared at the cloth shelter overhead for several moments, willing herself to try and sleep but knowing it was hopeless. If she had already been up this long and even partially transformed too then there wasn’t much point in trying to sleep again, not any time soon. With a frustrated growl she sat up abruptly and crawled out of the tent, shuddering as the cool night air hit her. Lily shivered at the contact and reached back for the torn blanket, tugging it with her as she made her way toward the remnants of the fire in the center of the camp. 

With the blanket now wrapped around her shoulders she made her way quietly toward the fire, only to stop short when she saw who was sitting there. August was still up, sitting quietly alone by the embers of the dying fire with a wooden statuette in one hand and a knife in the other. Hadn’t he left earlier? Or had Robin and company convinced him to stick around too? 

His hands moved methodically over the wood, whittling away bits and pieces to reveal an image only he could envision. But for all the precision that was obviously going into his work, Lily recognized that he was moving on autopilot, and that something was on his mind. 

Will’s earlier words came to her, about meeting August on her terms and maybe getting some closure. Lily didn’t know about closure, but she saw this opportunity for what it was, a chance to control the conversation and maybe get some information too. Will definitely hit the nail on the head before, August had always known more than he let on, and if she was going to stick around town for a while then she was going to need some information about how things worked in Storybrooke. He may or may not have still been a lying douchebag, but at least with August Lily knew exactly where they stood, and she knew what to look for in his lies. Learning things from him would be a lot easier than from anyone else. 

She took a steadying breath and let her fingers curl around the edges of the blanket, pulling it tighter around her as if it were a suit of armor. “On my terms, this is on my terms,” Lily whispered to herself, trying to instill some confidence in what she was preparing herself to do, and stepped forward. 

Whatever was weighing so heavily on his mind, it kept him from hearing her approach until she was only a few feet away. Lily cleared her throat to grab his attention and fought a smirk when his shoulders jumped up at her arrival. 

“Mind if I sit?” She asked, nervous and scared shitless and half hoping he’d tell her to leave so she would have an excuse not to stay and face things between them. But August said nothing, only looked up at her with wide eyes and his mouth slightly open in awe. Her forwardness at approaching him first had definitely caught him off guard, and Lily mentally preened at catching him unaware. Unfortunately, the self-congratulations didn’t last long when she noticed the hopeful gleam in his eyes at her appearance, and she fidgeted uncomfortably where she stood. 

He gestured to a log next to him and Lily sat on the stump on the other side of that, putting a good four feet of space between them. She adjusted the blanket around her own shoulders, occupying her hands while she thought of how to start a conversation. Back when they were together talking to August had been the easiest thing in the world. They used to make conversations about everything from oddly shaped clouds to plans for the future. But now, ten years and large betrayals later, what was she supposed to say? And why the fuck was she thinking back on all those dumb little things from when they were together? She hadn’t thought about them in years! 

Unnervingly, August seemed content to just sit there whittling his statue. With the space between them and the fire crackling in front of them, it was as if the world could come crashing down on him in that instant and he wouldn’t care because Lily had chosen to sit near him and wasn’t that just fucking grand? 

Lily finally glanced at the statue he was working on and narrowed her eyes at the distinctive and familiar curve of the wood. The arcing shape had been carved to end in several harsh angles that were almost as sharp as the knife that whittled them there, and even colored as it was by the light of the dying fire Lily couldn’t help but picture the wooden wing as being made of darkened leathery skin instead, nor could she help the shiver of fear that crawled through her at the sight of the whittled dragon wing that was a near match for the tattoos on her shoulder blades. 

“I um… You’ve been on my mind lately…” August started lamely, eyes glancing up from the whittled dragon wing nervously to meet hers. 

“I didn’t get that tattoo until after you left,” She accused, voice cold but quiet. 

“I know,” He sighed, putting the knife away and holding the wooden statue in his hands, thumb rubbing over it gently. “The tattoo artist you used showed me a photo of them after I came back to Portland looking for you, but you’d already gone by then.”

Her breath caught in her throat. He’d come back to look for her? If she was worth coming back for then why the fuck had he stopped looking? 

She hated how August seemed so hopeful and resigned at the same time. How he could dream big and then just let things slip through his fingers when push came to shove. Lily let out a deep breath through her nose, trying to prepare herself again. This was her chance to put things in her court, to set the pace for the conversation and control the tone and if she was supremely lucky for once in her life not get hurt quite so badly, not that she was off to a great start. The silence stretched on with Lily continuing to breath deeply and stare at the fire, trying to figure out what else to say. When it didn’t seem like she was going to say anything soon August started to fidget in his seat, uncomfortable and unsure. 

“I don’t wanna put the idea in your head, but I’m actually a little scared that you’re not yelling at me right now,” August admitted. “It’s the least of what I deserve after everything…”

Lily was quick to interrupt him before the conversation could move in a sentimental direction, deciding that maybe she wasn’t ready for that yet after all and some information was all she really needed. “Jones said that when Henry went missing they used Gold’s blood to find him. I know Emma and I have this magic connection bullshit but Regina said you had to be related for that tracking spell to work?” 

No matter how badly she wanted to yell or scream at August, she couldn’t muster up the courage or energy or even the anger to do it. Thinking about him all week had been exhausting and terrifying, but seeing him now just left her feeling numb and confused. There were butterflies in her stomach fluttering around a bundle of nerves that had her partly nauseous and partly terrified. 

August looked half relieved and half disappointed at the turn in their first conversation in over ten years, but followed along easily. “They are related.”

“What?”

“Gold, er, Rumplestiltskin, he’s Henry’s grandfather,” He supplied. 

She paused for a beat. “I thought Prince Charming was his grandfather?”

“You can have more than one. I personally don’t, but I’m told it happens,” August chirped in reply.

“Then whose Henry’s dad? Do you know?” August scuffed his feet against the ground, the nervous gesture too familiar and painful to see again, but Lily pressed on. “August?” 

He smirked at her use of his name, the first time in over ten years, but the smirk dropped into something somber and mournful all too soon. “This really wasn’t how I pictured us talking about it…”

“You pictured us talking about Henry’s dad? Or something else? Like the fact that you’re a Goddamned wooden puppet?” She questioned harshly, eyes narrowing in growing anger. 

He flinched. “So you know about that, huh, my whole back-story as Pinocchio? You know about my nose too? It still grows when I lie so I’ve always gotta tell the truth even though I’m not made of wood anymore-” 

“You’ve always been a fucking creative liar, Booth, always twisting words and telling half truths. The only difference between then and now is now I know how you learned to do it,” Lily interrupted, still angry. “And stop dodging and tell me what you know about Henry’s dad right now or I’ll… I’ll burn your ass. And you know I could now!”

He turned a pleading sideways stare to her. “Just bear with me on this, ok? I promise I can explain everything, but please let me finish, all right?”

Lily looked him up and down briefly, and then settled back on her seat, chin held high as she gestured for him to talk. 

The relief in his eyes was palpable and he shifted in his seat, clearly still anxious. “Henry’s father is Rumplestiltskin’s son, Neal Cassidy.” 

“The Wicked Witch used that name back in New York, something about how she killed him. Emma got pissed,” Lily remembered. 

August nodded at that, and then gulped visibly, steeling himself for something. “Neal Cassidy was the name he chose here. In the Enchanted Forest, he was called Baelfire.”

Lily’s eyes widened in shock and memory, and August knew she remembered the name. 

“All the research you were doing looking for Storybrooke, looking for Snow and David, it led you to other names than the ones you wanted; Cruella, Ursula, Pinocchio, Baelfire. All of us came to this realm through magic at different times and even if you didn’t find our photos you still found our names. You found us,” August tried to tell her, but Lily was still reeling, her mind finally putting together the pieces of the puzzle that had been her revenge from years before. 

“I never told you any of that. I never said anything about my revenge or who I was looking for or who I found. How the fuck did you-?”

“To be fair, you did hide all your research really well,” He admitted. “Which probably had something to do with not having any photos of any of us, but in the ten months we were together I barely knew you were hiding something in the first place, and that didn’t matter to me anyway. I didn’t realize you were even from the Enchanted Forest until the last month when you found Baelfire’s name and a recent photo.”

Lily leaned back, pulling away from him when she finally realized she had been leaning in toward him. “And that’s when you started piecing things together and realized who I really was.”

His eyes darkened sadly and he glanced at her with his head turned downward, fingers still ghosting over the wooden statue. “You mean whose kid you are and how you got here? Yeah, I read all your notes. I read them and I still don’t care that you’re Maleficent’s kid. You’re your own person Lily, nothing’s gonna change that. But looking at those notes I realized something else too, that I was homesick.”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Booth?”

August shuffled his feet again and rubbed one hand along his beard nervously. “Lily, I got shoved here through an enchanted wardrobe when I was five and was basically told, here’s a baby, don’t fuck up. You know what I did? I fucked up. Big time. Emma and I got separated in the foster care system and I didn’t stop it. I wasn’t there for her when I should have been. Years went by and I lost sight of who I was and who I was supposed to be. I lied and cheated and stole and I was an arrogant douche.”

“Pft, At least we agree on that part…” Lily scoffed, arms wrapping around herself under the warmth of the blanket. 

“But when I saw that photo of Baelfire, I thought about home for the first time in years. I thought about my papa, about everything we’d been through together, and why I was in this realm in the first place. Remembering all of that scared me shitless and I just wanted someone to talk to about it all, someone who at least knew about home even if we didn’t know each other there. So I went out one night to find Baelfire, and guess who I found with him?” 

Lily heaved a sigh of disappointment and frustration. It always came back to ‘her’ in the end. “You found Emma.”

“I found Emma. Emma was with Baelfire and they were playing Bonnie and Clyde. That wasn’t who she was supposed to be. She was supposed to be the hero to break the Dark Curse, but my fuck ups led her in the wrong direction. That was on me.”

“We were playing Bonnie and Clyde too, or did you forget that?” Lily reminded him, memories of stolen credit card numbers, fake lottery tickets, and skipped meals flashing through her mind’s eye. 

“We couldn’t make a living on my newspaper stories and your waitress tips from the diner. We were practically kids living on our own. And after a while it felt more like a giant ‘fuck you’ to destiny anyway. In the Enchanted Forest magic and fate are engrained in everything, but here, in a land without magic, without fate or destiny, anything was possible. I could write my own story in life, be anything, go anywhere, with anyone…”

“The train tickets…” Lily realized. “You said we’d make our own destiny,” She quoted.

He sighed heavily. “Phoenix, yeah. I really did want a life with you, Lily. Being with you, no matter how shitty things got, it felt right. But I couldn’t run away from what I was meant to do. I had to set Emma back on her path so she could break the curse. So I could see my papa again, maybe even go home.”

Lily’s eyes narrowed suspiciously in thought. “What did you do?” He didn’t answer, only looked down in guilt. “August, what did you do? You didn’t drive Emma to Storybrooke the very next day. What happened?”

There was another rub of his hand against his covered chin and a heavy sigh. “I confronted Baelfire, told him I knew who he was and that he was leading Emma away from her destiny, that he had to end things between them for her own good, and he did, but…”

“But what?”

“They didn’t exactly break up. Baelfire let her take the fall for a robbery and she went to prison.”

“Let me guess, where she found out she was pregnant,” Lily accused, having heard at least this last part of the tale from Emma before. 

August nodded. “With Henry, yeah. She gave birth, put him up for adoption, and served out the rest of her fifteen months.”

“Fifteen months?” Lily paled, not liking the direction her thoughts were going but asking the question anyway. “Where was she in prison?”

August’s mouth twisted into a humorless smile. “Phoenix,” He said. “Logically she should have stayed near Portland where she was charged and tried, but she was transferred out of state to Phoenix almost immediately. You spent a little over fifteen months in Phoenix, I’m guessing? And then probably about two years in Tallahassee after that? Same as Emma.” 

‘I was waiting for you,’ She wanted to say. ‘I was waiting for you in Phoenix because that’s where we had planned on going together, on making a new life together. How the fuck was I supposed to know you’d go back to Portland?’ Lily physically bit her tongue to keep from speaking, her nerves fraying at the edges as everything came to light. 

“Regina’s right. You and Emma have been following each other all your lives, whether you realize it or not. You’re connected, and that’s why you’re probably the only one who can find her now,” August added. 

Emma. Always Emma. Fucking Emma. 

Even confronting her ex about their past, something she’d had no intention of ever doing, somehow circled back to Emma. Lily couldn’t even have her own tragic back-story without Emma having to be intricately woven into it, could she?

Her fingers clenched the blanket tighter and her breathing quickened in anger. She barely even noticed that she’d started half-snarling under her breath or that the blanket had started to rip again.

“Lily? Lily, your hands,” August tried to say, pocketing the wooden wing statue. 

She glanced down and saw her nails extending outward through the rips in the fabric, growing into the sharpened claws of her dragon form. A spike of fear raced through her at the sight, which only made the nails grow longer, and she panicked. 

“Lily? Lily, listen to me. You’re ok, nothing’s wrong, just breathe,” August tried to soothe her, his voice taking on the slow and rhythmic tone that once lulled her to sleep years before. 

No! Lily snarled and curled inward, letting the cold of the air and panic inside take hold of her. No more thinking of when they’d been together! No more thinking about how every good thing between them was a lie! It was always about Emma, just like everything else, and when Emma’s needs had come up again Lily had been left in the dust, just like always. 

“Whoa! Lily, ok, don’t listen then. Just know that you’re safe. Think it through; you know there’s nothing here to hurt you. Your friends are here, Lily. Will, Roland, and all the Merry Men, they’re your friends, right? Think about them.” August struggled to keep his voice steady and slow, trying to soothe her with the cadence of his words. 

Glancing at him quickly Lily saw him shifting toward her with his hands held up between them. She couldn’t figure out whether he’d done it out of self-defense or as a peace gesture, but she didn’t really care to find to out, not after she spotted a shadow creeping its way out of the trees from well behind August, a low and threatening growl humming from it. 

August noticed Lily’s shift in attention behind him and turned around slowly to face the shadow. As it neared them the shadow took on the shape of a massive wolf with a pair of possessed black eyes, it’s teeth bared and still growling as it stalked toward the camp. 

“Ruby?” August muttered in recognition, a little surprised and a little more fearful. “So she did leave the hospital, but why is she here? And why doesn’t she recognize us?”

Lily vaguely remembered the nurses in the hospital the day before running around trying to find someone who had gone missing in the night. Had that been Ruby? Had she been in the woods since then?

The she-wolf took several measured steps forward and August stood up in a rush, moving to stand in front of Lily. 

“Lily, get back.”

She bristled at his attempt at a macho display, her nails growing even sharper and her vision beginning to shift into a more reptilian gaze. “Oh, fuck off Booth! I’m the one with claws and magic right now. Why don’t ‘you’ get behind ‘me’?”

“Magic you don’t have control over yet! Look, you can rail on me later. I’m not leaving you again!”

Lily never got a chance to respond, because Ruby’s growling turned to loud snarling, the sound echoing across the forest and the camp like a challenge. Soon, the occupants of the other tents were scrambling to get up and see what was going on. 

“Bloody hell!” Robin cried, immediately grabbing for his bow and arrow. “Roland, stay in the tent,” He called back into the shelter. 

“Ruby? Lass, is that really you?” Will Scarlet asked, head poking out of his tent, the rest of him soon following. 

Ruby’s predatory gaze moved over the group, taking stock of how many people there were and, Lily realized with dread, which Merry Man she was going after first. The wolf’s gaze fell on Lily and August by the fire, body crouching and eyes focusing in obvious intent. There was only time to shuffle a foot backward before Ruby pounced and all hell broke loose. 

The wolf sprinted through the camp, racing forward and easily evading the weapons of the Merry Men. Ruby leapt toward them, and August pulled Lily aside with him, arms wrapping around her tightly as they both went hurtling to the ground. The air was knocked from their lungs, and it took Lily only a moment to realize she’d landed on top of August and another moment more before she was scrambling away from him, her heart now pounding even louder (She refused to even acknowledge the look of concern on August’s face as she pulled away). 

The wolf had barely landed when it was shoved aside by Will Scarlet into one of the now empty tents, a move that only made Ruby visibly angry, and she went barreling after Will and the other Merry Men. 

“Get her out of the camp and into the woods! Lead her to one of the tree nets! If we can stop her running or at least restrain her then we can turn her back. August, grab my phone from my tent and call Regina. We’ll need her magic if we can’t contain Ruby ourselves.” Robin called out commands like a general mobilizing an army, and Lily watched in fascination as the Merry Men and August quickly jumped into action, following his direction without hesitation. 

Ruby kept sprinting through the camp, trying to bite at anyone that dared attack her, but the Merry Men were quick and obviously used to dodging attacks like those. They ducked and dove out of the way in the nick of time whenever it looked like Ruby would go for one of their throats. From a distance it looked like a dangerous choreographed dance, with some of the men distracting Ruby up close with long staffs and well-placed jabs while Robin and one of the nameless Merry Men fired arrows in front of Ruby, never hitting her but blocking her path and corralling her toward the woods and away from the camp. 

But their efforts, no matter how valiant and well executed, weren’t enough. The Merry Men’s teamwork may have been enough to take down normal wolves or villains in the past but Ruby was no ordinary wolf, and she wouldn’t go down like one either. She snapped her powerful jaws at one of the men, managing to bring him down by his legs, and when another one leapt on her back to wrap a rope around her she threw him off and straight into a tree. 

Lily scrambled to stay out of the way of the action. Blood and adrenaline pumped furiously through her in time with the beating of her heart and the rising panic in her throat. Her nails were still sharpened to a deadly point and her eyesight flickered between pixilated human and reptilian slits. A growing part of her recognized that she was losing control of her transformation, and that if she didn’t put a lid on things she’d end up going full dragon, putting everyone in danger. She tried to find the familiar faces of Will and Roland, hoping that their presence might help, but she could only see fear and chaos around her, and the sight only made things worse. 

The camp blinked out of color, dulling itself to muted grays of surprising clarity, given how dark it still was, and Lily knew she was almost gone. The best hope she had now was to get to the woods and maybe stay out of everyone’s way when she finally transformed. If she was lucky Ruby might even follow after her instead of wreaking havoc on the camp. 

She caught a glimpse of Robin’s tent where August had run to call Regina and keep an eye on Roland, and gasped when she saw Ruby had noticed the tent too and was already racing toward it. 

“Roland!” Robin yelled from the other side of the camp. Arrows started flying toward Ruby, but they did nothing to slow the wolf down in her pursuit. 

August had just come out of the tent, phone held up to his ear and Roland’s hand clutched in his, when he saw Ruby coming in fast. He dropped the phone and wrapped himself around Roland, shielding the kid from the oncoming attack and putting himself in the line of fire. 

“Ahh!” August cried out in pain when Ruby’s claws lashed at his shoulder, the blood beginning to ooze out of him. But still he held Roland tightly to him, even as they both dropped to the ground and Ruby untangled herself from the dismantled tent, readying herself for another go. 

Lily’s world flashed red and her feet moved before she knew what she was doing. One moment Ruby was in her line of sight, claws and teeth bared and ready to strike again at August and Roland. The next, Lily was running at full speed, flying into the wolf, and forcing her off the pair and onto the hardened ground. Ruby threw Lily off in a second, and she landed on the ground with thud that she swore shook the earth. 

Ruby only considered Lily for a moment but then seemed to be done with her. She began stalking back toward August and Roland, who were scrambling away from the wolf as best as they could. A jolt of anger and heat and righteous fury raged through Lily at the sight, welling up inside her and spreading from her center out to her arms and hands. She scrambled to stand up, the rough landing leaving her a little disoriented, and focused her every sense on the wolf. 

“No!” She screamed at the wolf, throwing her hands out and letting loose a spray of fire that caught Ruby off guard. The wolf snarled at Lily, abandoning its earlier targets to circle back toward her. 

Lily didn’t have time to think (Or question why the fuck she could suddenly fling fireballs), she could only shoot out more flames from her still-clawed hands as Ruby approached. Her aim was terrible, and she never hit Ruby directly, but she did manage to briefly light up the ground in front of the wolf, forcing Ruby to change direction on the fly and keeping her from getting too close to Lily. Unfortunately, this meant pushing Ruby toward the other Merry Men, who were quick to get out of the way but ended up caught behind several of the leftover flames in their effort to simultaneously distract Ruby and reach August and Roland. 

Lily glanced to where Roland was trying to help an injured August stand up, and the sight renewed the burning heat inside her. She shot another fiery assault at Ruby, the edge of this attack catching the fringes of the wolf’s fur and staying lit for longer than the earlier attacks. Ruby howled angrily and sprang forward, leaping through the flames after Lily, who managed to duck out of the way just in time. Ruby skidded to a halt a ways from Lily, and was preparing for another attack when Lily spotted movement from several of the men around her.

“The net! Now!” Someone cried out. As Ruby leapt for Lily’s throat again, several men threw a large net in front of her, bringing the wolf down in a tangle of limbs and rope. It took almost ten men to hold the wolf down, and even then they still struggled over Ruby’s collapsed form, pulling the net tight to keep the wolf restrained. Thankfully Ruby was fast running out of steam and her efforts to bite and snap at the people holding her down were quickly losing muster. 

“Ruby! Ruby it’s us!” One of the men told the wolf, trying to appeal to its human side.

“Lass, listen to us! You’re in our camp, no one wants to hurt you, but you’ve gotta put a lid on it!” Will tried to reason with her. 

It took more pleading and struggling, but eventually the wolf stopped fighting and transformed back into a human. In a matter of moments the wolf’s tail, large ears, and dark fur receded, leaving only the leggy brunette in its place. Ruby’s clothes were torn to shreds and a little singed and she looked like she’d been through the grinder, her eyes human again but dazed and darkened and her cheeks just a little hollow. She was clearly terrified and shrank back as several of the Merry Men stepped near her cautiously. Little John threw a cloak over her and Lily saw her visibly relax. Only then did the Merry Men pull the net away. 

She saw Robin cradling Roland to him, his gaze concerned and calculating as he spoke on the retrieved cell phone. Roland’s eyes met hers for a moment and Lily was struck at the worry and gratitude she saw there. The sight was enough to keep her from noticing her receding claws or the way the fire in her blood began to cool. She collapsed to her knees, drained beyond anything but determined not to pass out this time. Her breathing came in pants and gasps, and spots danced along her vision as her sight shifted from muted and slit to rounded and human. 

Lily thought she saw two pairs of legs approaching her (Will? August? Someone else? Damn it, thinking hurt too much.), or maybe it was one set of legs and she was so exhausted she had double vision? 

“Lily?” Someone asked. She couldn’t tell who was trying to talk to her, but she thought she liked the sound of their voice. Her every sense was simultaneously overloaded and dampened, from the ringing in her ears to the dull throbbing along her skin (Or was that petting? Was someone rubbing her shoulders and back? It felt nice). 

“How are… Did…? Is anyone…?” She mumbled incoherently, not quite sure if her mouth was moving the way her brain wanted it to. 

“We’re fine… is fine and…” The voice said softly. She couldn’t quite hear everything they were saying. “…And you’re fine too. Just breathe, Lily… You did seriously good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been bugging me forever! How the hell did August know who Neal/Baelfire really was in our world when they’d never met before? Baelfire left the Enchanted Forest centuries before Pinocchio et al. were even born, and it wasn’t like people were actively talking about Rumple’s search for his realm-hopping son Bae. Someone had to have figured out Neal’s identity, and I think that was Lily. Lily would have had the motivation to find other residents of the Enchanted Forest in her quest to find information about Snow/Charming/Storybrooke. She would have probably even found out about other people who made it here, like Cruella and Ursula, but since they had nothing to do with Snowing/Storybrooke directly she wouldn’t have given them too much thought. But for a teenaged, potentially homesick August the information might have been worth something a little more emotionally meaningful. 
> 
> Just a thought, anyhow. 
> 
> Read and Review and let me know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Indeed, what better way for August to find the Savior (to break the S1 curse) then to inadvertently get together with the woman who holds her darkness? And worry not, Ruby’s transformation will be explained (Also, whose psyched for Ruby and Mulan to return to OUAT?! And they’re casting Hook’s dad? Calling it now, Hook’s dad will be Davey Jones, a la The Flying Dutchman, carrier of souls lost at sea to the afterlife. We already saw a robed dude in a boat earlier this season that came to take Robin’s soul away. It’s not a big stretch to think maybe there are other ghosts/people who take other spirits away too.). 
> 
> Also, many thanks for the kind words of encouragement! They always put a smile on my face! This story has not been abandoned; it’s just being curmudgeonly and crotchety so updates are a little slow.

Lily wondered resignedly if using magic was always going to feel like this. If it was always draining and exhausting to the point of being powerless and unable to stand, with her limbs as heavy as lead, and her head foggy and dazed. If it was, then screw learning to control it. She’d had enough of feeling powerless and tossed in the wind in her life. 

Awareness came and went for Lily through the rest of the night after Ruby’s untimely arrival. She was aware of all the people moving around her, and how there were even more people in the camp than before, most of them not strictly associated with Robin’s group. She was aware of the rising sun; it’s rays sneaking through the forest to chase away the shadows of the world in streaks of pink and gold that marked the passage of time. She was also aware that she still hadn’t really slept, but at least this time it was more of a personal choice, or at least, a personal fear that something would happen while she was out. 

She was leaning against a tree with a blanket wrapped around her, feeling utterly alone again. Across the camp from her, August was seated in front of another tree with his arm and shoulder wrapped in a makeshift sling, courtesy of Dr. Frankenstein (Victor Whale, Lily reminded herself. The doctor had shown up only an hour or two before dawn and treated as many of the wounded as he could before going to find Ruby.). Roland was curled into his side under the warmth of a blanket, his current favorite book clutched to his chest like a teddy bear. Lily tried not to let it bother her that Roland had curled up next to August instead of her, but the choice still stung. Roland hadn’t seemed fearful of her at all in the aftermath, which was a small comfort, and she tried to justify the kid’s actions by saying he was more worried about his bleeding friend than the miraculously uninjured dragon lady he’d only just met that week who’d burned his home. The justification didn’t stop the heaviness from settling in her heart at the sight though. 

Every so often Lily caught Robin Hood glancing at her. She kept expecting to find some hint of animosity there, of distrust and fear (She’d been throwing fireballs around his campsite only a few hours earlier, after all.), but there never was. Instead, the father’s kind eyes only looked at her in concern, unsettling as that still was for Lily to see, before turning to look at his son tucked against the puppet’s side in reassurance, as if to remind himself that yes, his son was still there and someone was with him. When he wasn’t glancing at his son’s sleeping face or her, Lily could hear Robin talking with the queen, filling her in on what exactly had happened. 

“August said Ruby went straight for Lily, even before the rest of us knew what was going on, that’s no coincidence. She didn’t even look at the rest of us until we rushed her,” Robin told her.

The queen shook her head in confusion. “But Ruby went after Mal first earlier in the week, not Lily, and with no real prompting in both cases. And that doesn’t explain why Ruby came near the camp at all earlier tonight.”

“Perhaps Ruby’s wolf was perceiving the greater threat in those situations and acting in pre-emptive defense? I’d certainly put money on Maleficent in a fight, even with Lily’s dragon present. If Ruby’s wolf thought she was in danger after running into someone like Maleficent, it wouldn’t be the oddest thing in the world that she would try to defend herself,” He suggested.

She pursed her lips. “There’s something I’m missing, or at least not seeing. None of this adds up with what I know so far.” 

“Then perhaps what you know so far isn’t entirely true? There may be a misconception or two trapped in there that none of us realizes. It’s almost like trying to pull off a heist when some of your information is wrong. You might get most of the way through it all but in the end it’s a recipe for disaster.”

“Maybe…” She mumbled, clearly unhappy with the idea that she was wrong about something. Her dark eyes turned on Lily, forehead scrunching in thought. Under the queen’s inquisitive gaze Lily felt a little like a lab rat and she shrank back against the tree. 

She broke eye contact with the queen and turned her focus to where Will and the rest of the Merry Men were rebuilding the campsite with the help of a strangely subdued Maleficent and several wary townspeople. The group worked together to drape cloth over poles and pitch tent stakes into the earth, all by hand, and Lily was admittedly having a little trouble reconciling the sight of Maleficent blatantly forgoing the use of magic for manual labor. Lily was also having trouble holding eye contact with the older woman every time they locked eyes, and Lily lowered hers out of habit. 

Not long after Ruby had transformed back into a human and the initial chaos was dealt with the Queen and Maleficent had shown up in a flurry. The queen went to Robin and Roland looking for answers before moving over the wreckage like a CSI investigator. Maleficent had gone straight for Lily, finding her wrapped up and just a little delirious in August’s injured arms. Surprisingly familiar words were exchanged between the two, to Lily’s confusion, and Lily was soon bundled up in a blanket and deposited in front of a tree, Maleficent by her side with an unsteady and unsure hand on her shoulder. 

Part of Lily was beyond relieved that Maleficent wasn’t outright disappointed in her lack of control or pushing her to talk about what had happened, but a much larger part of Lily’s thoughts were consumed with fear about the inevitability of such a conversation. It was this part that won out when Maleficent’s hand started moving in soothing circles on her daughter’s arm and Lily shuddered and pulled away. She didn’t miss the way Maleficent’s eyes widened in hurt, or the way her lips thinned in resignation and frustration. After a tense moment of silence Maleficent stood and moved to speak with the queen for several minutes before August called the older woman aside to talk with her at his own tree. 

Something about the familiarity between her ex and her mother put Lily on edge. It wasn’t that they seemed particularly friendly with each other, but they had definitely talked before, and if the way they kept glancing toward Lily was any indicator, they had talked about her. Were they giving each other pep talks and advice on how to approach her? Or worse, had August told Maleficent about their romantic history? The thought sent a sickening roll of discomfort through Lily. She didn’t have a lot of first hand experience with parental figures, but even she understood that some things really were better left unknown between parents and their kids. Whatever it was they were talking about now though, they seemed to come to an agreement and Maleficent moved to help the Merry Men rebuild their camp. Cautious and wary glances were thrown at her at first, but the work looked demanding enough that differences had to be put aside until it was done, leading to an air of tolerance among the rag tag group that was still in place hours later as they worked amid the light of the rising sun. It almost reminded Lily of the determined yet melancholy atmosphere that had pervaded the town since Emma’s disappearance, if not for the underlying tension and the smoldering aftermath of a fight between a partially transformed dragon and a not-werewolf. 

Lily let her gaze wander the perimeter of the camp again, her eyes falling on a still terrified Ruby near one of the re-pitched tents. Sitting around the she-wolf was an older woman who Lily recognized as the matron of the diner, along with Victor, and Snow White and Prince Charming, all with soothing embraces and soft words for the brunette. 

Lily watched the small group for several moments, fighting the urge to flinch every time Emma’s parents glanced toward her instead of the brunette; their looks nervous and awkward like bashful teenagers. Since running into Maleficent’s brunch with Snow the other day she hadn’t seen the un-Charmings around town at all. Lily had just assumed it was because they knew she would never forgive what they did to her and they had actively decided to steer clear out of fear or anger. But when they looked at her now there was nothing fearful or angry to them, there was only an awkward discomfort born from uncertainty and Lily had no idea how to respond to that. Just like she didn’t know how to respond to Robin Hood’s not-furious gaze or Maleficent’s attempts at motherly comfort. Fear and hatred she could understand easily; the part of her that still wanted revenge for everything Snow and Charming did was more than happy to hold a grudge forever. Hell, even pity was bearable sometimes. She was well used to that from others. 

But the discomfort in their eyes and in the air between them was almost like a social stalemate. Lily couldn’t move forward and forgive them like Maleficent wanted but she also couldn’t find it in her to whole-heartedly hate them anymore (The growing flicker of warmth in her heart was seeing to that. It couldn’t justify the hatred.). Nothing made sense the way it was supposed to and Lily just wished she knew where those looks on their stupid faces were coming from. If she knew that then maybe she could figure out how to respond… 

“They don’t know if you’re ready to talk to them,” Maleficent supplied as she approached Lily, startling her. When had she walked over from the other side of the camp? Lily turned toward her mother in surprise but didn’t answer, so Maleficent took it as a sign to amend her comment. “Snow and her Prince, they want you to feel comfortable and settled before they try and approach you. That’s why you haven’t seen them of late.”

“Do ‘they’ want me to feel comfortable first, or do you?” Lily accused. Maleficent fidgeted in place. The sight was as unnerving as it was days earlier.

“I thought giving you some space was what you wanted, but now I only… May I sit?” She asked, gesturing to the ground next to Lily. Lily shrugged in allowance, and Maleficent sat down with a regal grace that sent a pang of jealousy through Lily. For fuck’s sake, the woman managed to make sitting in the dirt look dignified. 

“So, did you get booted off the rebuild squad?” Lily snipped, instantly regretting the words the moment they left her mouth.

Narrowed eyes met her and a moment of silence passed before Maleficent spoke. “As a matter of fact, no, I was not ‘booted off.’ I simply understand that these people don’t trust me yet and I’m something of damper on their efforts and mood. They’re not openly hostile though. So it’s a start.”

Lily snorted at that. “You say that like their opinion even matters.”

“It does,” Maleficent informed her, the calmness of her words betraying the seriousness of her assertion. “They need not truly like me, but if I’m to live here among them then I certainly can’t have people running scared every time I step outside. That’s no way for anyone to live. If I can show them they have nothing to fear from me, and that perhaps I can even aid them in times of need, it will go a long ways toward building a new life. So yes, I do care what they think of me, but I care more what you think of me. You’re my daughter, Lily, and yours is the opinion that matters, which leads me to my next question…” Maleficent started to say. 

Lily tensed in readiness, watching Maleficent take a steadying breath in preparation for something that was sure to hurt. Maleficent glanced around the camp, her eyes settling on Ruby and her small group. Lily could practically see the questions trying to form in her mother’s mind, but in that moment they were nothing but a jumble of words and incoherent feelings and fears. 

“About Ruby Lucas, did you happen to meet her before she…” Maleficent trailed off.

“Before she turned into the Big Bad Wolf from Little Red- Oh fucking shit, I can’t believe I just got that,” Lily huffed in annoyance, realization finally dawning on her. She ignored her mother’s pointed stare at her less than appropriate language. “She’s the wolf AND the kid from Little Red Riding Hood? How the hell was I supposed to guess that when she came by the room before with Captain Hook of all people?” 

The smile that made it onto Maleficent’s face was forced. “Indeed. Regina told me many stories of our realm’s citizens have been brought here, and that certain creative liberties were taken with them,” She bit out, clearly unhappy with that particular aspect of leaving the Enchanted Forest. She blinked rapidly in an effort to refocus. “But what do you think of her, as a person? You mentioned she and Hook stopped by your room before? Did you speak with her?”

Lily didn’t want to relive that particular encounter, but thought she had an idea of what Maleficent was trying to find out. “If you’re trying to ask if I hate her for basically coming after me twice in a week to claw my eyes out then you’re doing a terrible job of being subtle.” Maleficent had the decency to look a little chagrined, but her eyes remained steely and determined, another question laying beneath them, and Lily took another breath to try and sort her thoughts. “If what Regina said about us both being forced to transform is true then it probably wasn’t her fault she attacked me and you, so no, I don’t hate her. And I’m not gonna start some ten year hunt for revenge against her either. We all know how ‘successful’ I am at those anyway.”

Her answer didn’t ease any of the tension on Maleficent’s face. “That’s good to hear but… What of her earlier history? Knowing what you do, does that change your opinion of her at all?”

“What history? What are you trying to get me to say?” Lily asked, confused. 

“If my source is correct, then Ruby Lucas was responsible for the deaths of her first love, as well as her mother, among others. Do you-”

“Your source?” Lily’s eyes narrowed as she interrupted. “Fuck, do you mean August? Is that what you two were talking about earlier? How are you two even on speaking terms?” 

“Lily,” Maleficent’s voice snapped Lily from her tangent. “Does it change how you see her, knowing she has that in her past?”

Lily stared at her mother for a hard moment before shying away and tugging the blanket tighter around her. She bit her lip in thought as her mind raced. “I dunno, maybe? Yes?” She didn’t miss slight flinch in her mother’s features at the admission. “She killed people, that’s not something you just look past, especially if they were people she was close to. I still can’t hate her. But I mean, the kid in that story is supposed to be this cutesy little girl, right? Not some leggy wolf ready to go to a club, and definitely not the bad guy. It kinda throws you for a loop, is all.”

“So it’s expected of Ruby to be liked despite her past because her story shows her as a hero?” Maleficent mused, her mood gloomy and sullen. 

“More like a damsel in distress, but yeah, it doesn’t hurt.”

“Then there’s no hope for me, is there? With you.”

Somehow Lily realized the forlorn admission shouldn’t have surprised her, but it did. “What?”

Her mother’s gaze was downcast as she spoke, and her voice melancholy. “I’ve been shown this realm’s colorful iteration of my history and it paints me as a queen of darkness and evil. The specifics may be misconstrued but unfortunately it isn’t too far from the truth. I was hardly a good person, Lily, even on my best days. Having you was supposed to be my chance at a new beginning. When I first knew you were coming into my life all those years ago it made me want to change but now that I know how you’ve learned to see me all these years… Who’s to say you would even want me as a mother, or that I even deserve to be one given what I’ve done with my life?” 

Lily’s brain scrambled to find a way to appease her mother. “I could never hate you, Mal. You have to know that. It wasn’t your fault that we couldn’t be together.” Her words seemed to lift Maleficent’s mood only a little, but it was a start, so Lily kept going. “I mean, yeah, you’re a villain and learning you of all people were my mother was weird. I’m not gonna lie, knowing you probably have a really dark history is gonna affect things between us. But I could never hate you for something that was out of your control. It was Snow and Charming who separated us, and really, it was the Evil Queen who made them think they had to do that in the first place.”

“Snow and Charming? And Regina?” Maleficent questioned, her melancholy transformed into anger. Her eyes snapped toward Lily, no longer downtrodden but fiery and sharp. “Will you pin the blame on Cora too then, Regina’s ambitious mother? She killed Regina’s first love and Queen Ava, and practically forced Regina into marriage with King Leopold, whereupon she was brought more permanently into Snow’s life. Surely she deserves some of the blame in this affair?”

Maleficent’s words were heated and angry and Lily felt her own temper rising. “Well she sounds like she was part of the reason we never got to live our life together so yeah, I guess I can put this on her too,” She answered hotly.

Maleficent lifted her head in affirmation. “Fine then, how about placing some of this on Rumplestiltskin’s shoulders too? After all, he taught Cora and then Regina dark magic. Without him, neither women would have come to power or been an influence in Snow’s life, and therefore in ours. But then who made Rumplestiltskin into such a man to teach dark magic to others? Perhaps we should be looking into his cowardly father, who left young Rumple in the care of two hags with nothing but a sullied name. Can we not put blame on him for being part of the reason Rumple embraced the title of Dark One?”

“It seems like there’s just shit ton of blame to lay around so I might as well spread it!” Lily’s voice rose but she barely noticed the curious gazes of the camp onlookers. 

“You can’t Lily! That’s the point!” Maleficent retorted. “You can’t keep going backwards to lay blame. There will always be something that happened before to make things happen as they did later that was out of someone’s control. That is simply a fact of life, no matter the realm. At some point, someone has to take responsibility and move forward. Laying blame on a succession of people going back to the beginning of time is ridiculous. You might as well be angry at the universe for existing in the first place.” 

“At this point, I think I’d feel totally justified,” Lily seethed. 

Maleficent took a breath through her nose and lowered her voice. “Now, I understand why you won’t hold Ruby responsible for the recent attacks, but the fact that you won’t hold her past against her by virtue of this realm’s misinformed understanding of her history is ridiculous. Just as it’s ridiculous to lay blame on a line of people going back to eternity. You may know Ruby as a character in a story but she is a human of flesh and blood just as we are, and she is accountable for her own errors. Not everything is out of our control and we have to take responsibility for that. Ruby Lucas has certainly managed to, and she still has people in her life who care for her,” Maleficent retorted, hands gesturing to the other side of the clearing where the she-wolf and her group had turned to stare at Lily and her mother. 

Lily’s temper was still running hot but she never got a chance to respond when the queen called out to her. “Miss Page! A word please?” The interruption effectively silenced Lily and Maleficent, forcing them to turn to the queen. “And maybe we could talk civilly before the whole camp decides to treat this like some kind of soap opera for their viewing pleasure,” She added as she and Robin Hood approached the tree. 

Next to her Lily could practically see the fumes coming out of Maleficent’s ears, and she knew her own appearance probably wasn’t much more composed. “What is it, Regina?” Maleficent bit out. 

The queen’s voice was calm and composed with a definitive air of authority that matched the upward tilt of her chin. “Two forced transformations from Ruby in one week and both times she essentially came after Lily. We all know that’s no coincidence. Especially given what we already know and when last night’s incident forced you into seclusion, Mal.”

Maleficent bristled at that and Lily turned to stare at her mother in surprise. “Regina, I told you it was a precaution. You felt the spike in magic just as I did and after my head injury the other day I wasn’t certain I could hold off my transformation-”

“Back up, you weren’t sure you could stop a dragon change? You? The queen of control?” Lily asked in disbelief. “Then how the fuck did I manage to avoid it? I threw around fireballs and shit but I didn’t grow wings this time. I even kind of knew what I was doing.” 

Maleficent’s lips thinned at Lily’s colorful word choice but she shrugged helplessly at the question, her temper finally starting to subside. 

“Well you certainly haven’t learned to control your dragon form to such a degree yet, so I think we can safely rule that out as a reason,” The queen noted. “Now, you mentioned a degree of awareness this time. Walk us through it. Where were you before Ruby arrived?” 

Lily shifted awkwardly on the ground. “I was by the fire. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Another bad dream?” The queen questioned.

“Another?” Lily’s eyes narrowed. She felt more than a little betrayed. “Jones really did talk to you, didn’t he?”

The queen rolled her eyes at the obviousness of the statement. “Did you honestly doubt he would? He learned a valuable piece of information pertaining to Emma Swan and your apparent connection with her, and decided to share it with the people who can find her and bring her back. Of course he told me, and her parents, and Henry. Now did you have another dream about Emma or not?”

“No, ok?” Lily snapped. “I didn’t have another fucking dream because I wouldn’t even call what I did falling asleep anyway.”

“Tell me why not,” The queen pressed. 

Lily’s answering tone was facetious and sarcastic, meant to force the queen into flinching in ignorance. “Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t you try suffocating and sleeping at the same time? Let’s see how well you do with a blanket of darkness on top of you? Or if you can fall asleep with a frozen chill in your bones and a voice in your head reminding you of everything that’s wrong, then please, I’d love some tips.” Instead of the flinch Lily was expecting, her words forced the queen’s dark eyes downward in a haunted glance, one mimicked by Maleficent. Robin Hood noticed the dark haired woman’s shift in demeanor and immediately wrapped an arm around her shoulder, his hand rubbing warmth into her. The motion soothed the queen, who regained her composure but stayed silent. 

It was Robin who addressed Lily next. “The darkness was on top of you? Do you mean it was in the very air of the forest? Because that would certainly explain the restless night my men seemed to have before Ruby’s arrival.”

Lily snorted at that. “In the forest, the town, in this whole goddamn place. It’s like a cold blanket draped everywhere.” 

“And here I thought the melancholy mood of the town was due to our missing sheriff, not a dark magical blanket,” Robin noted as lightly as he dared. 

“So this blanket of darkness,” The queen chimed in. “It woke you up and sent you to the warmth of the fire pit where August was. Can I assume you two talked?” Lily flinched almost on reflex. The movement was too obvious for the queen not to notice and her face fell into a knowing expression that pissed Lily off. “I assumed correctly then. And I take it the conversation wasn’t about anything pleasant?” This time Lily turned her head away, confirming the queen’s suspicions. “What happened next?”

“Ruby showed up already wolfed out. Chaos ensued,” Lily bit out. “Will Scarlet and everyone else were shooting arrows and trying to trap her and I was throwing fireballs at her. I think I remember Robin saying to get Ruby toward one of the nets in the woods?”

Maleficent spoke up before the queen could question her further, her voice just a little awed and hopeful. “Lily, You were able to control yourself enough to partially transform and be aware of your actions?”

“No, my nails and eyes were already changing before Ruby got here,” Lily told them, only realizing a moment too late what she had just revealed. She hadn’t wanted to even mention that her transformation started before Ruby’s arrival, and now everyone was going to question her continued lack of control. Lily shrank back against the tree in preemptive defensive.

“You were already transforming before Ruby’s arrival? I don’t think any of my men really noticed. And besides, you were aware enough to throw Ruby to the ground when she went after Roland and August,” Robin pointed out, a reassuring and impressed smile on his face. “I still haven’t properly thanked you or August for that, for putting yourselves in danger for my son, so thank you.” His words were sincere and shot straight to the flicker in Lily’s heart, making it burn just a little brighter. She glanced quickly to where August and Roland were still curled up on the other side of the camp before turning back to Robin to give him a terse nod of acknowledgment. She could barely handle the random acts of kindness from people like Will and Roland, gratitude from the kid’s dad was definitely well off her radar. 

The queen noticed her glance and shot a quick look of her own back at Roland, her eyes narrowing in thought. “You didn’t happen to shoot those fireballs soon after that tackle, did you Miss Page?”

Lily shifted again, uncomfortable. “Maybe, so what?”

The queen shrugged. “Never mind. It was just a thought. I have a pretty good idea of what happened during the fight itself, or at least what happened that I needed to know. Now then, back to this so-called blanket of darkness. I think I have a good idea now about where it’s coming from.”

“Of course you do,” Maleficent deadpanned. “You need to be the one to figure things out or else you won’t feel needed.”

The comment earned Lily’s mother a glare and tightened jaw from the queen, but Robin ran a soothing hand down her arm again, even as he too glared daggers at Maleficent. 

The queen finally unclenched her jaw enough to continue. “We’ve all noticed the shift in magic these past weeks go from balanced to downright gloomy since Emma was taken. We also know that Emma and Lily have been connected since birth and apparently Miss Page has even had some visions and dreams involving Emma, even though she failed to inform us of them before,” At this the queen looked at Lily pointedly, but Lily refused to cower this time, even as her hands unconsciously pulled the blanket tighter around her. “I think that the connection is the key and that Lily is the source of this darkness.”

“Regina,” Maleficent practically growled in anger and disbelief. Even Robin was looking at the queen with a hint of skepticism. 

Lily stared at the dark haired queen in resigned horror. Of fucking course it would be her. She was pure darkness, why wouldn’t the doom and gloom be because of her? Had her darkness somehow attracted Ruby to her? Was she putting people in danger just by existing?

The queen tried to clarify her statement. “No, no, source isn’t quite right. Lily is the… opening? Gateway? Yes, I think gateway works better. Logically the connection between Lily and Emma should be a two way street. Lily has visions of wherever Emma is and since we’ve had no reason to believe Emma is looking in on Lily’s life, something else must be coming through from Emma’s side. Something powerful. And I think what’s coming through is this dark ‘blanket’.”

“Regina, surely we would have noticed if a veil of darkness had descended on this insignificant dot of a town,” Maleficent tried to insist.

The queen shook her head. “Not necessarily. Especially not when Emma, the source of this dark veil, is cursed with being the new Dark One and the gateway for the veil is already a walking incarnation of darkness. Lily’s heart has been dark since birth, it would have been hard for anyone to notice a real change.”

Lily snorted at that. “So you’re saying I’m just such a Debbie-downer all the time that no one noticed when things went from bad to shitty? Well don’t I feel like a ray of fucking sunshine?”

The queen rolled her eyes again and Lily felt more and more like a child being talked down to. “You and Emma are equal and opposite halves of each other. You’re darkness has balanced her light for your entire lives. But now, Emma is the new Dark One and logically there has to be some consequence to that involving you, Lily.”

“But it’s getting worse isn’t it?” Robin chimed in. “This dark veil, or whatever we’re calling it, it’s darkening or coming through stronger somehow. If it had stayed consistent then Ruby would have likely transformed weeks ago. Perhaps she never would have transformed at all.”

“Most likely,” The queen agreed. “Something’s happening to make this darkness stronger even from realms away, and I’d bet it has to everything to do with Emma.” 

“You think Emma Swan is losing her fight against the Dark One’s curse,” Maleficent stated. 

“I think she’s already had to fight it for too long,” The queen asserted, jaw tight and posture suddenly stiff. “This means our time table for the new tracking spell absolutely has to move up. Tinkerbelle was supposed to call me when she found the rest of the fairy dust we needed but I might tell her not to bother with it. We have the rest of the ingredients and if I don’t get the dust I already have cooking soon then we’ll lose even more time.”

“You know as well as I do that you’ll need all the fairy dust you can get, Regina. You can’t pull this off with a half-baked spell,” Maleficent reminded her, eyes more akin to an annoyed mother than anything else. It was probably the most motherly Lily thought she had ever seen Maleficent look. 

“So what does all this mean for me?” Lily finally asked, pulling three heads to look at her. The queen took charge and answered for them. 

“Lie low for the day until I need you. Eat, sleep, do whatever you need to do, but plan to use a little magic tonight. I’ll still have Henry find you when the spell is ready. He knows where I’ve set everything up,” The queen explained. “Mal, I guess I’ll need your help with something after all. Come with me.” The queen and Robin started walking away but Maleficent hesitated, looking at Lily briefly in longing and guilt before turning away with a sigh and moving to stand. 

Lily’s forehead creased in confusion. Why had Maleficent looked at her like that? Hadn’t they been yelling at each other before the queen and her boyfriend showed up? Where had the anger gone? Maleficent’s anger couldn’t honestly have evaporated in an instant, could it? But the way she looked at Lily just then, especially the longing, it left a bad taste in her mouth and heaviness in her chest. Maleficent’s longing reminded Lily of the look her mother gave her when asking about dragon lessons at the diner the other day. At the memory of that hopeful yearning in the older woman’s eyes even more guilt crashed down on Lily, weighing her down as her sagging form bent forward. 

Maleficent was trying. She was trying to build something with Lily and Lily was screwing it up as per usual. Lily had been given another chance at a civil conversation with her mother and she’d fucked it up again. She really couldn’t do anything right, could she? Not dragon lessons, and not even returning a voicemail her mother may or may not have left her (She hadn’t even bothered to check her phone in days. Fuck, she was a terrible daughter.).

Lily scoffed loudly. She was still pissed at her mother for not seeing things her way, but she hadn’t wanted this. She hadn’t wanted to drive Maleficent away yet again. Maleficent was probably one of the few people in town whom she had hurt that she wanted a real relationship with, and something inside Lily told her that letting her mother walk away right then would be a big mistake. The flicker in her sparked briefly and suddenly Lily knew what she had to do. 

“Hey, Mal!” Lily called out. Maleficent spun around immediately from halfway across the camp, her expression cautiously optimistic. Lily opened her mouth to speak but then noticed all of the people still watching them, their prying eyes glued on her, and she shrank back again. 

Whether Maleficent noticed the stares or just wanted a moment of privacy for them anyway, Lily couldn’t say. She was, however, entirely grateful when her mother walked back to her tree, albeit very warily and slowly, as if she were approaching a skittish animal. 

She reached Lily’s tree, putting a small and silent distance between them. It soon became clear Maleficent was waiting for Lily to speak, so Lily took a breath, and took the plunge. “Do you think we could have that meal we talked about? I know I never returned any of your calls and we were just…”

“Of course!” Maleficent preened, a surprised and pleased smile just breaking out on her face. “Of course we can, and we’ll go wherever you want. Where did you have in mind?”

“Um…” Lily suddenly cursed the fact that she knew almost nothing about the restaurants in town and was forced to fall back on the one place she knew at least semi-well. “I dunno… Granny’s?”

Maleficent didn’t seem to care where they ate, so long as there was a meal with her daughter to be had. “Excellent! I will, uh, meet you at the diner then? Regina should only need me for an hour or two.”

“Yeah, the diner… I’ll meet you there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what to do. R&R


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the length of this chapter makes it worth the wait. Thanks again to Nath8 for the awesome cover art for this story on FFN!
> 
> Read and Review as always you lovely, lovely people!

She was back at the diner, drinking a coffee paid for by someone else, and not just any someone else, but by the un-Charmings, who had somehow been notified that Lily and Maleficent were going for brunch in the aftermath of the Big Bad Wolf’s takedown of the Merry Men’s camp and insisted on paying for their meal.

Somehow Lily didn’t think saying things like that would ever feel normal. It was weird enough that she was in a town of fairy tale characters, but on top of that the people responsible for the downward spiral of her life were treating her to a meal (The foster kid in her was more than happy to take free food, no questions asked, but the scorned adult was less eager to take the pity). Not to mention apparently Lily herself was at least mostly responsible for the current air of doom and dourness draping itself over the town, and said mood was the reason Ruby Lucas was transforming uncontrollably in the first place.

Lily shrank back into the seat, her hands curling around the vestiges of warmth from the coffee mug as she let the inevitable tidal wave of guilt wash over her again. Even when she tried to do something decent, like have a quiet afternoon with the Merry Men, something had to go wrong. Something had to go so stupendously wrong that innocent people were put in danger and Lily turned out to be the center and source of that wrong thing. Maybe it was true that some people just never got to have nice things, like friends or an easy day. 

Her eyes wandered the diner, searching for a distraction from her traitorous and self-effacing thoughts and finding one in the forcibly sprightly waitress giggling cutely at one of the local boys. The waitress, ‘Sissy’, as her name tag so cheerfully declared, let out peals of laughter that were annoying enough to drown out the dark voices in Lily’s head (And also a little forced sounding. Robin’s earlier comment about other people feeling the effects of the darkness around town came to mind, and Lily wondered how much of Sissy’s chipper attitude was normal versus forced for normalcy.). Granny left Sissy in charge of the diner either for the day or however much time the Lucas ladies needed to take off, or so Sissy told her when she’d poured Lily her first cup of coffee earlier that morning. Now mostly through her quickly cooling third cup, Lily found herself inadvertently catching the waitress’s eye, and giving the waitress the false impression that her presence was required at Lily’s table, much to Lily’s dismay. Sissy rushed over, coffee pot at the ready, and Lily tried unsuccessfully to wave off the overeager woman. 

“Ready to look at a menu? Or how about a top off for your coffee?” Sissy asked, her cheeriness more than a little grating for an already sleep deprived Lily. The smile on her face seemed permanent and Lily wondered vaguely if it was carved there. 

The waitress continued to stand there expectantly and Lily sighed, realizing she wasn’t going to get rid of the sprightly woman without letting her do something. “Coffee, I guess…”

The mug was refilled, the steaming liquid of life filling the ceramic with caffeinated survival. “Whenever you want a menu just holler and I’ll grab you one,” Sissy told her before turning sharply on her heel to tend to other customers. 

Lily stared at the coffee in front of her, watching the steam rise and curl on the surface. She didn’t honestly know how long she could stay there, just sitting in a booth and waiting. Maleficent and the queen had said earlier that the remaining preparations for the tracking spell would take several hours, and Lily had told Maleficent she would wait for her at the diner, but that still didn’t give Lily much of a time frame for when her mother was going to show up for their so-called meal. It also didn’t help Lily fill the time. She just didn’t know what to do with herself, and after all, there were only so many cups of coffee a person could drink before they needed to use the caffeine for some greater purpose. 

The bell over the door chimed loudly, signaling the arrival of yet another patron to the diner, and Lily glanced up briefly in disinterest to see if she could recognize who it was. She blanched when she saw August standing in the doorway with his arm in a new shoulder sling. His eyes locked on hers, an equally fearful, albeit hopeful, deer-in-the-headlights look on his face (Lily tried not to be pleased that he was just as scared as she was, but she was too frozen to notice). Maybe she should have chosen to eat and hang out somewhere besides the town watering hole, but she still hadn’t expected to run into him so soon after the incident. For fuck’s sake, the whole thing was getting ridiculous. 

Lily saw the play of emotions rush over his face, the worry and concern, fear and hope. The resignation that came over him in the end had him turning around to walk back out the door, but Sissy the waitress noticed him before he made the turn. The woman seemed awfully eager to throw herself into her work as a distraction. 

“August! Hey! Your take-out’s ready!” Sissy called out from behind the counter. 

Lily easily caught the shift in August’s demeanor from frozen in surprise to masked confidence as he sidled up to the counter to pay for his food (Lily hated that she still knew what to look for to notice such shifts in his behavior, and she hated that she didn’t hate it as much as she wanted to.). Sissy took the payment and ran into the back for his order, leaving August to stand awkwardly at the counter only a few tables away from Lily. His eyes glanced not so subtly to her booth, the glimmer in their brown depths no longer surprising to Lily, even as the flicker of warmth and roll of her stomach at the sight continued to unsettle her. Several moments passed and Lily recognized the tensed line of his shoulders and back, the one that said he had decided something, and she immediately tensed too. Did he want to talk? Was Lily ready to talk to him or practically anyone after last night? Panic rose in her throat when August slowly turned to her and Lily could almost see the words about to fall from his lips. 

“Here you go! One breakfast sandwich and home fries, extra peppers!” Sissy’s reappearance interrupted them, cutting the tension of the moment cleanly in two and pulling the remnants of motivation from August’s gaze. He took the bag of food, sighed in defeat, and started turning the other way, clearly intent on leaving the diner without a word. 

He wanted to talk, but he was scared and giving her space. Considering how well their talk had gone last night Lily didn’t hold it against him. Talking again so soon and somewhere so public was a terrible idea. But part of Lily acknowledged that they probably still needed to talk since he had more answers to her growing list of questions. Not to mention, if she was gonna try and make amends with Maleficent, and she was apparently doomed to see August every few hours in this backwater town, she may as well try and suck it up and see what happened if she talked to him now. 

And pray to God that Maleficent showed up soon. 

“August,” Lily called out quickly. His shoulders jumped to his ears at the sound and he faced her slowly. Her voice decided to fail her in that moment and she was forced to silently gesture toward the seat in front of her. August’s eyes widened comically in surprise, but the way he shuffled toward her said he didn’t want to miss this opportunity. 

“I thought… um, I didn’t think you’d be here…” August started, standing just next to the booth. His eyes glanced downward nervously. “I thought you’d be in your room, sleeping or something.”

“I should be,” Lily admitted, finding her voice. “But I know I’m not gonna fall asleep anytime soon, not after last night, or um, this morning.”

“Right.” August fidgeted, eyes now firmly glued to his feet. “Lily, are you sure this is ok? I can go if you want?”

Lily shook her head fervently. “It’s fine. I mean, it’s not, but… Look, we can’t avoid each other forever in a town this small and we’re gonna have to talk eventually. It might as well be now. So you might as well sit and order some coffee to go with that breakfast. Snow and Charming are paying.” 

He sat down slowly, a contemplative smile on his face as he set the take out bag on the table. “So they really are paying? I’d heard they were, but I wasn’t sure.”

“I think it was mostly Snow who set it up. Something about a mother-daughter brunch date or whatever cutesy thing she probably decided to call it,” Lily told him, looking him over warily. He looked tired and a little like he’d gone through the wringer. The dark circles under his eyes betrayed his need for sleep even as the upward tilt of his mouth spoke to his normally chipper and carefree attitude, the one that intrigued Lily the first time they met. His leather jacket was definitely bound for retirement now that Ruby’s claws had ripped through it, and his shoulder was heavily bandaged while his arm was held steady in a new sling (He’d probably gone to the hospital finally, Lily mused.).

August noticed her brief perusal of him and shook his injured arm a little in demonstration. “It’s not really that bad. Regina helped heal some of the deeper gashing so at least I didn’t lose a lot of blood. The sling’s mostly just so I don’t move my shoulder around too much and rip the stitches,” He told her. “And they’re not Charming and Snow here. They’re David Nolan and Mary Margaret Blanchard, er, Nolan.”

“Just like you’re August Wayne Booth, not Pinocchio?” She countered, remembering their talk from before.

The corner of his lip twitched further upward. “Have you ever actually met someone in this realm named Pinocchio? Besides me, I mean? It’s not exactly a common name here.” 

“Right, and introducing yourself with a middle initial is totally normal,” Lily replied, sarcasm heavy in her voice.

August chuckled at that. “You know, that’s kind of what the old guys at the diner told me when I first got to this realm. I don’t think they understood how exciting it was to go from having one name to suddenly having three.” Lily’s eyes narrowed at that, trying to decide if his slip of information was intentional or not. If the almost bashful look on his face immediately after was anything to go by, then he hadn’t meant to say any of it. He coughed awkwardly, scrambling to move the conversation onward, and flipped the top of the take out bag open teasingly. “So, I seem to remember you liked hot sauce on your eggs and extra peppers with your home fries? That still true?”

“…Maybe…” She admitted, glancing toward the bag of take out, the one she remembered held a breakfast sandwich and home fries with extra peppers. “I seem to remember you hating anything spicy,” Lily countered.

“It felt like fire in my mouth the first time I had something spicy, and formerly being made of wood…” August chuckled and pulled the food from the bag, placing the breakfast sandwich in front of him and the home fries between them, offering some to Lily. “I never hated spicy food, I just couldn’t handle it back then. But now I live for the thrill of the stuff.”

“The thrill?” Lily asked, incredulous as she took several home fries, suddenly realizing how hungry she was. “Are you saying your taste buds get off on being made of wood and surviving something hot and fiery?”

His eyebrows rose at that. “Not exactly how I would’ve said it, but maybe?” He took a bite of his sandwich before speaking again. “Y’know I’ve always liked diners. First place I ended up in this realm was a diner. An old man at the counter gave me a bite of his French toast and I spat it out ‘cause it was too sweet. I’d never had anything like that before.”

The mental image managed to make Lily smile just a little. “Really? I remember you having the biggest sweet tooth and ordering extra maple syrup for your French toast.”

August shrugged. “What can I say? It grew on me, same as spicy food. Apparently the worst thing you can do right after hopping realms is to eat something sweet, but alcohol before a jump is a great idea. Hook told me that not too long ago.”

“And about 30 years too late,” Lily deadpanned. 

“Hehe, yeah, about 30 years too late. I still think that was just really bad French toast, ‘cause the rest of the stuff they gave me was good.”

“What else did they give you?” Lily asked, happy to keep the conversation shallow and simple if it lessened the awkwardness and chances of another partial transformation. 

His good shoulder dropped helplessly. “I can’t remember, honestly. I just remember feeling like I was somewhere close to home in that diner. It felt safe and homey, until child services showed up and took me and Emma away.”

“Could we not mention Emma?” Lily interrupted, already aware of the inevitable angry spike in her magic at the mention of the missing Savior. “For once, could I talk with someone and not have it circle back to Emma fucking Swan?”

He flinched at her outburst, but pulled himself together quickly. “Yeah, course. Um, of course.” August searched desperately around the diner, looking for inspiration, and apparently finding it in the young family several tables away. “Roland was asking for you this morning.”

“Yeah?” Lily’s voice was quieter than she wanted but at least it was an improvement over anger. Roland had actually asked for her? Lily had seen the kid curled up next to August only hours earlier, the memory of which still hurt a little. But if Roland was asking for her then he couldn’t really hate her, right?

August visibly relaxed at her acceptance of the topic. “Yeah, he woke up and you’d already gone so he started wandering around the camp with his book looking for you. He really liked the way you did the voices in his book, especially Bilbo. I mean, he’s still referring to you as ‘Smaug’ but only when his dad is out of earshot.”

Lily chuckled at that, the flicker in her heart warming at the image. 

“And just so you know, I may have mentioned to him that you would stop by in a day or two to read to him again? Was that ok or…?” August looked at her warily, afraid of overstepping some invisible line in the sand. But Lily was just glad to still have someone caring about her. 

“That’s fine,” She told him. “That’s more than fine. I’d love to. He’s a good kid.”

“He is.” August smiled knowingly at her. “You always did have a soft spot for kids.”

Lily didn’t argue with him, only shoved another bite of home fries into her mouth and contemplated how to change topics. There was something she needed to know. “So you and my mother. I hear you two are practically best friends now. How did that happen?”

August took another bite of his sandwich. “She and Regina kidnapped me, tied me to a chair, and held me over a fire,” He said nonchalantly. 

“No, seriously, how did it happen?” She asked again. 

“Seriously. That’s basically how it happened. Oh, I should probably add that I was a kid when they kidnapped me.”

“So this happened back in the other realm years ago? Like, ‘once upon a time’ forever ago?” Lily questioned.

August shook his head, still chewing his last bite and talking through it. “No, no, this happened here a few weeks ago. I was a kid and they kidnapped me and then Gold turned me back into an adult for information. Then they held me over the fire when I wouldn’t tell them what they wanted.” 

Lily stared at him silently, confusion etching itself across her features. There really wasn’t any getting used to things in this town, was there? “You’re shitting me.”

August shook his head. “No shit of any kind, whatsoever Lils. Built-in lie-detector, remember?” He tapped his nose in emphasis. “Actually, after you came to town your mom was more nervous about her and I meeting up than I was, which was actually kind of a relief for me…” 

“And you just, what, invited my mother for coffee one day? Told her we used to be a ‘thing’ and that you knew how to get us talking?”

He had the decency to look guilty about her accusations. “More or less… Look, I knew she’d already gone to Mary Margaret for help ‘cause she and… well, you-know-who had to deal with a similar situation, but I basically told your mom that I was the one she should really talk to. I’ve been in your shoes Lily. I’ve had to build a relationship with my parent as an adult, and I thought Maleficent would appreciate my perspective.”

“And your information,” Lily added in a quip. August’s forehead creased in confusion and Lily was forced to clarify, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “You’ve been telling her secrets about people in town, like Ruby’s gory history.”

August fidgeted in his seat, uncomfortably glancing around the diner to see if anyone had heard them. “Yeah, let’s uh, let’s not spread that around too much… Victor was kinda smashed when he let that slip and I don’t think he meant to say anything in the first place,” He told her in a stage whisper. 

“But you shared that kind of info with my mother?” Lily pressed, taking another bite of the dwindling home fries. 

“Yeah, I did, but Ruby’s back story is probably the worst of it,” August admitted. “Your mom’s trying to live here just like everyone else, and knowing who has a personal vendetta against her or whose not gonna try and run her out of town puts her on equal footing with everyone. Just try and tell me you haven’t been lining people up with their Disney movies since you got here?”

Lily narrowed her eyes at her ex. “There’s something very wrong about sharing people’s secrets without their knowledge,” She decided. “What are you anyway, her personal investigator? Do you test the waters for her before she meets people?”

“Kind of? Maybe I’m more like her social investigator? Hey, that could be a job, actually, professional social investigator.” August tried to smile as he said it, to lighten the darkening tone of the conversation, but Lily’s suspicious expression remained and August cleared his throat awkwardly. “Look, I honestly think she’s trying to turn over a new leaf and I think I can help her do that.” 

“Is that what you’re doing here? Testing the waters for her with me before she comes in for brunch?” Lily accused, crossing her arms defensively in front of her. 

“No,” He said, adamant and serious in the blink of an eye. “I honestly didn’t know you’d be in here and I had every intention of giving you space after what happened at the camp, but then you waved me over and now we’re talking and…” August paused and took a settling breath, the line of his shoulders tensing again to let Lily know he’d decided something important. “I miss you, Lily. I miss waking up next to you, and hearing about the crazy customers you got at the diner after your shift. I miss the way you kept me grounded, and how you made me want to build something permanent when all I wanted to do was run. I’ve missed you since I left that night and if you’ll let me I’ll pay you back for every dollar I took and every sleepless night I caused you since then, starting with helping you and your mom.”

His words stopped her breath and her arms tightened around her. Lily’s thoughts went blank, taking in everything he said, not knowing how to feel in the face of his confession. “August…”

“You don’t have to decide anything now,” He interrupted. “But just so we’re clear, I want to be part of your life again, however you’ll have me. Just tell me what you want to happen between us, and I’ll make that happen. If you need someone to talk to, I’ll listen. If you wanna try and be just friends I would love that more than anything. But if you never wanna see my stupid face again then I can do that too. Whatever you decide, I’ll respect that.”

There was a sad smile on his face as he finished, and Lily stared at him, taking in his appearance again and feeling as if she were seeing him for the first time. His eyes were still tired, but not just from the sleepless night before. They were tired from years of sleepless nights, years of exhaustion and constantly being on the move. She could imagine very easily that he hadn’t spent too much time in any one place after he left her, and the miles of travel showed on his face in the color of his cheeks and lines by his eyes. 

But seeing that in his face, and guessing the anguish he’d probably put himself through over the years, it didn’t excuse what he’d done to her. His suffering didn’t make up for anything, and it sure as shit didn’t make her feel any better. Yes, he’d probably suffered, but so had she. 

The door chimed at the arrival of another patron, but this time Lily didn’t let her gaze wander, instead keeping her focus on August. She only turned to look when she recognized her mother’s form out of the corner of her eye. The older woman entered the diner slowly with her shoulders and head held high in false confidence. Her cautious gaze, searching eagerly for Lily, gave away her nervousness. 

Their eyes met, and Lily saw her mother’s shoulders drop a fraction in relief. Maleficent took two steps forward before being stopped by the same young family that August noticed earlier. The young mother tugged gently on the older woman’s sleeve, apparently startling them both, and almost bashfully started talking to Maleficent, gesturing quickly to an infant in her husband’s arms. 

August noticed Lily’s gaze drift to the young family and Maleficent, and twisted in his seat to glance toward them. His eyebrows shot up at the sight and Lily got the distinct impression that even he was surprised to see Maleficent talking to the young family. 

He turned back to Lily slowly, a contemplative look on his face. “Huh,” Was his eloquent response to the scene. The single word pissed Lily off. 

“Huh what? Who is that?” Lily demanded.

“Someone you’ll recognize. It’s just… It’s good to see them like that, is all…” He replied, cryptic as usual but with a small smile on his face. 

Lily narrowed her eyes at him again, not liking the way he’d phrased his answer. He always was a creative liar. “See them how?”

“Being civil,” He replied, looking at Lily. 

“Lily?” Maleficent’s voice was soft and cautious as she came into view in the corner of Lily’s vision, just behind August’s shoulder. Her conversation must have finished faster than she realized, Lily thought. 

“That’ll be my cue,” August chimed in. He packed up the remnants of his breakfast sandwich and the empty box of home fries, standing up and offering his seat to Maleficent with a gallant sweep of his arm. “Oh, and Lily, I meant what I said this morning. You did seriously good earlier, never doubt that.”

He turned to Maleficent and a knowing look passed between them. Lily tried not to put too much thought into what words were being silently spoken, but found herself blinking back and forth between them anyway. As August walked out the diner he looked back at Lily briefly, a longing smile bending his lips upward, before he pushed out the door. 

Had all that really happened? Had she just had a semi-civil conversation with someone that didn’t blow up in her face? Lily didn’t know what was more unbelievable, that a conversation like that had happened at all or that it had happened between her and her ex. 

Maleficent sat down across from Lily and gracefully folded her hands on the table. Her posture was ramrod straight and Lily found herself sitting up a little taller to match the older woman’s poise, fruitless though it may have been. 

“So who was that? The woman you were talking to when you came in?” The question flew from Lily’s mouth before she could stop herself. 

“Aurora,” Maleficent replied, stiff and nervous at the question. “She asked me to deliver a message to Snow White for her. It seems she’s having trouble with her talking phone, although why she asked me to deliver her message is beyond me. These strange magic bricks are far more trouble than they’re worth.”

Lily’s eyes blew open, turning to stare at the woman at the other table. “Wait, AURORA Aurora? As in the one that-”

“Yes,” Her mother snapped. “That one. I can’t say we’ve moved past everything that happened but at the very least we’re trying to be civil.” 

Lily’s eyes bounced back and forth between Aurora and her mother, who was now fidgeting uncomfortably in her seat. Lily desperately wanted to ask what had really happened between them, and what had led to the infamous sleeping curse, but had to physically bite her tongue to hold back the words. 

“Menus? More coffee?” Sissy’s interrupting chirp visibly startled Lily from the dual staring contest she was having between the two women, and she had to force her shoulders down when they jumped up to her ears. Lily managed to turn down the coffee refill in favor of a menu, using the plasticized paper as a distraction for her hands. Maleficent’s smile to the lively waitress was awkward and stiff, and she took the plastic menu hesitantly. She held it in her fingertips as if it were some bewildering thing she’d been forced to pick up, and looked at it with as much confusion. After Sissy left them in peace, with a promise to ‘be right back in a jiffy’ for their orders, Lily and Maleficent fell into an uncomfortable silence. 

“So… I’m told the burgers are tolerable? Those are the sandwiches, yes? With beef and common vegetables?” Maleficent asked, fingers almost twitching along the menu’s edges as her eyes darted around the diner, glancing over the patrons. 

“Uh, yeah, common, tomatoes and lettuce and onions and whatever,” Lily answered, noticing her mother’s discomfort and silently grateful that it mirrored her own. 

The pair fell into an even more uncomfortable silence as they both stared at their respective menus in distraction, glancing nervously at each other and the surrounding patrons. Lily felt like she was on display, sitting there in the diner with half of the town moving in and out around them. It left her twitchy and anxious to leave, just like when she had run into Maleficent eating with Snow earlier in the week. But then she would glance up and see Maleficent across from her, the woman clearly as uncomfortable as she was, and remember that Maleficent wasn’t the one who suggested they meet at Granny’s. That was all on Lily, so Lily had to see this through, didn’t she?

But the silence became too deafening and the noise around them ate away at Lily just a little too much, and she declared, “This is fucking weird.”

“Language,” Maleficent replied.

Lily’s mouth opened and shut several times before she shook the annoyance aside. “I mean it. This whole meeting for brunch thing is weird. I like diner food as much as anyone else but I don’t even know why I suggested meeting here of all places. This isn’t us at all, and I don’t even know what ‘us’ is.”

Maleficent’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “I agree. This does feel odd.” Lily could practically see the rejection solidifying in her mother’s eyes, the resignation that they would never be able to have a connection, even on a simple enough level to meet for a meal. The sight tore at Lily more than she would admit. But as quick as the defeat flashed through her mother, resolve began to build right behind it, a determination that was still fragile and new but fiery and sure. “But odd or not, I still want this, Lily. I want to know my daughter. We’ve lost so much time together all ready and I don’t want to lose anymore simply because of a strangeness in the air.” 

Lily fought back the smile that threatened to break free, ducking down to the menu in her hands and pretending to look it over. “Maybe diners aren’t for us. We just haven’t found our thing yet; do you know what I mean? We can try something else?” If she could manage to have a civil conversation with her ex, someone she wasn’t keen on speaking to, then she could find a way to make things work with her mother. 

Maleficent nodded in agreement, her mood improving at Lily’s willingness to keep trying. “You should eat something though. You used more magic last night than you’re probably aware. Where else can we find food in this town?”

Lily shrugged helplessly, drawing a blank. “There’s this Italian seafood place by the docks…” She recalled having heard it was a very romantic location, one of the few such restaurants in town, and immediately nixed the idea. She wanted food, not a date. 

“Italian?”

“Um, pastas and fish and clams. It’s actually kind of a date spot, so maybe not the best place for lunch…” Lily struggled for another idea, her mind running through every memory she’d had of the shops around town. There was the ice cream parlor, a bakery, and a pizza shop, but what else? She thought she remembered seeing a small meat market supposedly run by Bo Peep, if the rumors were true. Of course, if those same rumors were true then Bo Peep was actually something of villain, the thought of which only confused Lily. 

“I believe I saw a meat market down the road? Perhaps we should buy some ingredients and put together our own meal?” Maleficent suggested, surprising Lily at the synchronicity of their thoughts. 

The mention of the meat market inspired Lily with another idea. “Actually, how do you feel about barbecue?” At her mother’s quizzical expression Lily elaborated. “Think of slow roasted meats with lots of different sauces. It can get a little messy but if it’s done right it’s really good.” 

Maleficent considered the idea for a moment, but when Lily noticed an upward quirk to the woman’s mouth she knew the idea was stuck, and smiled in return. It felt unbelievably good to see that smirk on her mother’s face, to know that Maleficent wasn’t just humoring her for the sake of spending time together, but that she was actually interested in the suggestion. If this worked and Maleficent actually liked barbecue, it would be something they had together. Maybe bonding over food wasn’t the greatest base for a relationship, but it was definitely a starting point of sorts. Besides, it would probably be funny as hell to watch regal and poised Maleficent make a mess eating barbecue ribs. 

“Is there somewhere in Storybrooke we can go for this barbecue?” Maleficent asked as she placed her menu onto the table. The smirk was still present on her face but it morphed into something decidedly dragon-like and Lily wondered if all dragons had an inherent love of well-cooked meats. If they did, it was probably the first thing about being a dragon that Lily could actually understand and relate to. 

“There’d better be,” Lily replied, a matching grin on her face. She caught Sissy’s eye intentionally this time and called the waitress over. Sissy practically skipped to their table and whipped out her notepad, ready to take their orders, but Lily posed a question to her instead. “Is there a barbecue place in this town?”

Sissy was startled for a moment, but recovered quickly. “Oh! Well, nothing on the main street, but one of our new waiters used to work at a place out towards the edge of town. I think it’s called Three Pigs? Anyways, it’s the old brick place past the pumpkin patch on the way to sorcerer’s mansion. You can’t miss it.”

Lily’s eyes widened a fraction at the directions. “Wait, whose mansion?”

“I believe I know the way,” Maleficent supplied, surprising Lily and Sissy. “Regina took us there while we were searching for the book page with the door where Isaac was trapped,” She explained. 

“Right… Ok, um, just charge Snow and Charming for the coffees I drank and we’ll get out of your hair,” Lily told Sissy as she stood quickly, eager to leave the crowding diner. Maleficent stood and followed behind her after politely thanking the chipper waitress for her time and trouble. 

Lily waltzed outside the diner and as soon as Maleficent had closed the door behind her they were off, walking down the street side by side. Only a handful of people looked at them warily, most simply avoided eye contact all together, something Lily considered to be an improvement even if it still made her curl inwards. Most of the looks were directed toward Maleficent but if her mother noticed the wary glances she did an excellent job of letting them roll off her without reaction, yet another thing Lily was jealous of the older woman for. It wasn’t until they crossed paths with a young child who looked at Lily in fearful awe but looked at Maleficent in learned disdain that a crack showed in Maleficent’s armor. 

“I won’t let them hate you because of me. I’ve taken responsibility for my own mistakes,” She told her daughter, voice definitive and sure. “They have no right to place the weight of my crimes on you, just as I had no right to do the same…” 

“What do you mean?” Lily faced her mother as they walked, taking in the assuredness of her words and the tense line of her jaw. She saw her mother take a breath through her nose and knew she was in for a serious conversation. Somehow, the anticipation of it didn’t scare Lily as much as it could have. 

“Earlier when we spoke of laying blame further and further back in time… I wanted to warn you against my own mistakes. I laid blame on Briar Rose after she bested me so I put the first sleeping curse on her. But King Stefen woke her and they married and had a daughter, Aurora. My revenge failed and I shut myself away. I should have left it at that, but I didn’t and it cost me dearly.”

Lily wanted to ask about Briar Rose and Aurora actually being mother and daughter instead of the same person, but she held her tongue and asked another more pressing question instead. “Why are you telling me this?” She knew Maleficent hadn’t wanted to share details about her personal history before, so why start now?

“I’m your mother, and isn’t this what parents do? They make mistakes so their children won’t have to,” Maleficent replied with a raised brow, but shook her head, refocusing. “In my anger toward Briar Rose I scorched a forest to the ground and one tree was lit aflame with a fire so full of hatred and magic that it burned for decades, even when I myself couldn’t use magic anymore. It wasn’t until Regina came to me years later that I found myself again, that I was reminded of the fire and power that burned inside me.”

Lily remembered Henry telling her briefly about that encounter the other day, and was inspired to ask her mother for the rest of the story. “What happened? Did she help you?”

Maleficent shifted nervously as she walked. “In a manner of speaking. At the time Regina was also consumed with thoughts of vengeance, so while her method of aid was certainly not the healthiest or wisest outlet, for a short time it worked.”

“What did she do?”

Her mother’s eyes turned glassy in memory. “She reminded me that my vengeance wasn’t complete, not while Briar Rose’s daughter was preparing for marriage and King Stefen was knocking at my gates to finish me off for good. At the time I couldn’t use magic, but I was able to draw strength from the flames of that burning tree, enough to force King Stefen from my lands, put Aurora under a sleeping curse of her own, and curse her beloved so he would never be able to wake her.”

“Sounds like some tree,” Lily noted, suspecting that the story wasn’t over yet. 

Maleficent nodded in agreement, but hung her head soon after. “The strength of that magic fled me all too quickly. Hatred and vengeance, no matter how powerful and focused they made me in the moment, could never sustain me for a lifetime. It was an awakening of sorts. My magic and strength had to come from within, from a more fertile and balanced source. It wasn’t until some time after that I began searching for other dragons.”

Lily narrowed her eyes in confusion. “I thought you were trying to find strength from within or whatever? Why go flying off for help?”

“Because I desperately needed help,” She answered sadly and softly. “I had strayed too far from the source of my magic, corrupted it too greatly and lost balance. I needed to find that source again. If I could rediscover what gave my magic power in the first place I thought it would ground me, and I was right.”

“What was it? What gave you power?” Lily asked, more invested in the story than she would have thought possible before. 

She smiled at Lily. “The will to survive. I was forced to learn dark magic as a child to protect myself, but it was more defensive than anything else. My vengeance toward Briar Rose and her innocent daughter were acts of aggression, they were an outward push that needn’t have occurred and had nothing to do with my safety or wellbeing, and so they further corrupted my power.”

“You mean you lost balance, basically?” Lily questioned, remembering her mother’s words from their failed foray into dragon training. “But you found it again?”

Maleficent looked at her in pleased surprise. “Yes, yes exactly, Lily. My magic lost balance. Reconnecting with the other dragons helped me find it again, not to mention it led to you.”

Lily shivered at the thought of her mother and, well, anyone, together like that, human or dragon. “Ok, we uh, we don’t have to talk about ‘that’… I think there’s some stuff that’s better left unknown between parents and kids,” She sputtered. Maleficent chuckled at Lily’s discomfort, and as uncomfortable as the thoughts of her mother with anyone made her, Lily couldn’t deny that she liked seeing her mother at ease enough to smile. “But um, thank you, for telling me all that…” Lily added, a small but genuine smile gracing her features, a smile Maleficent returned in kind. 

They walked the rest of the way to Three Pigs in relative silence, exchanging words on shallower topics like the weather and what constituted good barbecue. This gave Lily’s mind ample leeway to over think Maleficent’s story about pinning blame on successive people. 

The way it sounded, Maleficent had exacted her revenge not once, but twice, and both times was drained dry as a price. Her mother claimed her magic was corrupted by selfish intent that went against the core purpose of her magic, which was inherently defensive and protective, a notion that made Lily pause for thought. Self defense definitely wasn’t something she would have thought of when she thought of dark magic, but given what she could gleam of Maleficent’s dark upbringing it made a strange sort of sense that her magic would respond to such a thing. It also helped explain the way Maleficent first tried teaching Lily to control her dragon, with thoughts of protection and self-defense. 

Lily’s thoughts drifted between her two most recent transformations. The first one, according to Maleficent, had been triggered not just by a need for protection, but also by fear. Lily remembered feeling afraid of some unseen monster well before Ruby’s wolf had shown up. Once Ruby had arrived in the clearing it was only natural for her dragon to go after the wolf in order to flee. Lily also remembered the sheer exhaustion and ache she had felt afterward, and the strange and empty uneasiness that had followed when she woke in the hospital (Was that what happened when she forced her magic to work without a real purpose? Utter and complete comatose-level exhaustion?). 

In comparison, the second transformation had started much the same way, albeit through anger in addition to fear during her talk with August, but had ended far differently. Lily hadn’t lost control that time. Something focused her enough to stay mostly human, but what was it? She replayed the events of the night over in her head, Ruby’s initial bounding toward the campfire where Lily and August sat, the Merry Men’s coordinated assault, Ruby going after August and Roland in the tent…

Lily blinked, remembering the sudden shift in her mood at that point. Ruby had gone after Roland’s tent and Lily’s vision went red. She’d leapt at Ruby, thrown fireballs at the wolf, and had generally done her damnedest to keep the wolf away from the kid (And August too, but Lily refused to think about whether that had been intentional or circumstance.), all while in mostly human form. She’d had more power and more control when Roland was in danger than when she’d been fearful for her life against Ruby alone. Not to mention she hadn’t passed out for several days afterward, she’d managed to stay at least partially awake (How was that self-defense? Wasn’t Lily’s magic supposed to work like her mother’s?).

If Lily’s magic had responded to Roland being in danger, it would definitely explain the queen’s cryptic reply from earlier that day about Lily not shooting fireballs until after she had tackled Ruby to the ground. So what did that mean for Lily’s future magical usage? Could she only use magic when a kid was in danger, or did it have to be specifically Roland that was in danger?

“Lily? Is something wrong?” Maleficent asked in worry, noticing her daughter’s faltering steps and contemplative face. 

She shook her head, aware that her thoughts had drifted. “No, it’s nothing, it’s just… I had a thought, err, a tangent, I guess.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Her mother urged. 

Lily considered sharing her thoughts for a moment, but decided against it. “Maybe later? How about for now we just grab some barbecue? I have a feeling you’re gonna like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unrelated note; I started another cannon-divergent multi-chapter fic… Inspired by the fact that they’re casting for Hook’s dad for 5b and also the title of the 100th episode. I’m calling it ‘Compass (How To Fight For Love)’ and the first 2 chapters are up. Just check out my profile page to find it. I’m pretty excited about it, but I really want to prioritize Tattoo before I put all my free time into Compass, so worry not, this fic will still get a giant chunk of love while I chip away at my new stuff. 
> 
> Read, Review, spread the word hummingbirds.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On with the story! Have some Mal & Lily bonding time! It’s a shorter chapter, I know, but this was the best place to leave it for now.

Three Pigs barbecue was housed in a fort-like, one-story brick building next to the decorative remnants of a straw hut and a partly demolished wooden shed. It was owned by a trio of brothers whom Lily learned were never in fact pigs, but had always been human. They were butchers who were forced to rebuild their smokehouse three times back in the Enchanted Forest after Ruby’s wolf had gone looking for an easy meal and destroyed the buildings in the process. 

“Ruby’s a good friend here though,” The youngest brother, Ulric, had explained hurriedly as he set their lunch orders on the table. “And a damn good customer. It’s a real shame she hasn’t been around lately. We’re hoping she feels better soon.”

Lily fought back a flinch at the comment, remembering the state she had last seen Ruby in only hours before. She instead focused her attention outward, taking in the interior of the building. There were only a few tables, most of the building’s space being devoted to food preparation, but the eating area was comically decorated with various cartoons retelling the story of the three pigs and the big bad wolf. 

“It’s good for business,” Ulric told them when he noticed Lily’s wandering eyes. “Especially when customers see Ruby here, something about the whole affair being water under the bridge, or whatnot. Makes them all feel good and redemptive, I suppose?”

Given the odd mealtime there were only a handful of other patrons, none of whom Lily could recognize and all fully engrossed in their meals, something Lily was grateful for, as was her mother from the look of her. Maleficent no longer cast wary glances around the room searching for wayward eyes, and the tense line of her shoulders eased when she decided no one was trying to listen in on them. 

She relaxed fully after taking her first bite of ribs, surprise overcoming her. “Delicious!” She proclaimed, going in for another mouthful. “This is barbecue? It’s fantastic! The meat practically falls off the bone but is still tough enough to retain such complex flavors! And this sauce, mm! A perfect blend of savory spices!”

Lily chuckled. “I know you’re really into big creative sentences but you don’t have to write our lunch a sonnet.” She didn’t hide her smile at her mother’s delight, pleased that her prediction about Maleficent enjoying barbecue as much as she did was right. “But you really like it?”

Maleficent nodded excitedly. “These are baby back ribs, you said? What about those?” She pointed to one of the side dishes between them. 

“Fried okra,” Lily explained. “And those over there are curly fries. Try them with the sauces.” At the end of the table were a series of bottles containing various hot sauces and barbecue sauces. There were vinegar-based North Carolina sauces, tangy mustard sauces from South Carolina, and classic tomato-based sauces, along with hot sauces made from jalapeños and others from ghost peppers. 

Maleficent wiped the fingers of one hand as clean as she could before she reached for one of the hot sauces. She drizzled a few drops of the liquid onto one of the fries and took an eager bite, moaning in delight at the added flavor. “And they dare call this the land without magic. I’m not certain any magic could conjure something so divine.”

Lily shifted in her seat. “Seriously, you don’t have to lay it on so thick. I’m just glad you don’t hate it,” She admitted. 

But Maleficent shook her head, swallowing her latest bite before speaking. “I’m quite serious Lily, this is delicious. I’m not in the habit of lying just to please others. If this is what all barbecue is like then I shall have to order some more. Waiter! Ulric? Ulric!”

Lily hid her smile in a bite of her pulled pork sandwich and let herself chuckle at the mess of sauce smeared around Maleficent’s mouth, nearly ruining the clean and collected image she usually maintained. But for all the mess that Maleficent was making of her meal, she still managed to have all the poise and practicality of a southern belle in a pantsuit. Lily could practically envision her mother sitting on a wrap-around porch with a yard full of magnolia trees, simultaneously running some Fortune 500 company and enjoying a glass of sweet tea. 

As they ate their meal, stealing bites of food from each other’s plates and ordering side dishes they would never have room to finish, Lily was struck by how much easier it felt talking with her mother this time around. Granted, the topics of conversation had yet to stray too far from Maleficent’s verbose praise of the meal and a few questions about the stranger things her mother had seen around Storybrooke that still confused her (“Lily, there seems to be a great preoccupation with cataclysmic natural disasters in the stories on the moving picture box. Is this normal?”). Not that Lily was complaining though. Chatting with people in shallow conversations was still easier for her than the deeper talks she somehow found herself stuck in time and time again. The fact that she was finally learning to be comfortable around Maleficent even with such trivial topics was another huge step forward in her book. 

“There’s other places that have even better food,” Lily told her mother after Ulric scurried off with their latest meal addition, letting the pull of nostalgia reel her in as her taste buds took a trip down memory lane. “I found this hole-in-the-wall place outside of Boston called Blue Ribbon Barbecue. It always had a line out the door whenever I was there so I would always call ahead and then just pick it up once I finally got there. And this other place near Portland had the best pulled pork. The house sauce they used was really spicy though and August never managed to-” Lily cut herself off, stiffening instantly. 

Lily shifted in her seat, decidedly uncomfortable. Fuck, that was dumb, Lily thought. Why the fuck did she have to go and bring up her ex unprompted? She and Mal were having such a good go of it before she went and screwed it all up. Maleficent stared at her daughter, waiting almost nervously for her to continue instead of trying to change the subject. Did that mean Mal actually wanted to talk about August? Lily couldn’t understand why that might be, but now she was curious and more than a little wary, especially given how August had reacted when confronted about his association with Maleficent. 

“So um… You and, uh, ‘him’…” Lily trailed off, voice uncertain and a little accusing. 

Maleficent’s eyes dropped to her food, the bones picked clean by this point (Were the air between them as light as it had been only moments before Lily would have commented about the cartoonishly clean way her mother had managed to eat everything off the bone. Maleficent would have likely pointed out that Lily’s were picked just as bare.).

“He’s been a kind, if rare, face in this strange town, and he approached me, oddly enough,” Maleficent started. “I was unsure what to think at first. After all, it had not been long since Regina and I-”

“Kidnapped him?”

“Yes…” Maleficent fidgeted a fraction in her seat. “I told you before that I spent years simply wondering what became of you, Lily. Learning your name made you real, but seeing you? Being able to speak with you? The prospect was too daunting for words, so I sought help. I had already reached out to Snow White and when the puppet actively approached me not long after that, saying he understood your perspective in all of this and that he knew you previously, it was too good of an opportunity to pass up.”

Part of Lily recognized what it meant for Maleficent to admit she needed help and for her to seek out that help from someone like Snow White. Help from her fellow dragons or the Evil Queen was one thing, but help from a shining hero was an entirely different sort of risk. It was almost as risky as accepting offered help from a voluntary source, like August, and trusting that she wouldn’t get screwed over. But they were all risks Maleficent had taken to further her relationship with Lily, and that was something worth remembering, something that made the flicker inside her grow just a little bit more.

But a question burned on the edge of Lily’s lips, one she was scared to ask, but knew would find it’s way out anyway, so she let it. “What did he tell you about me?”

To her credit, Maleficent’s voice remained as neutral and steady as if she were recounting some basic fact, like how two plus two was four or that she was a dragon. There was something oddly comforting about it. “He told me that you were adopted by the Page family and named Lily, but you never felt as though you belonged. That despite all the comfort they provided you ran away from them time and again and eventually ran into Emma Swan. August did not specify too greatly about those encounters but I was under the general impression they did not go well.”

Lily snorted at that, silently grateful that some things really had stayed private. “Understatement of the year,” She deadpanned.

Maleficent glanced at Lily with cautious and curious eyes, gauging her reaction. “He said he met you not long after your last encounter with the Swan girl.”

Lily stiffened once again. “And what did he tell you about me and him?”

“That you were together and for a time content, even as you searched voraciously for the whereabouts of Snow White and her husband, and for answers to the questions meeting the apprentice inspired in you,” She answered simply. “Although I was rather more intrigued by what he wasn’t saying.”

“And what was that?” Lily questioned with narrowed eyes. 

“That he still loves you.”

Lily quickly turned away, her eyes finding knots in the hardwood floor while her mind replayed her earlier conversation with August. It wasn’t like she hadn’t guessed he still cared about her, he’d made that clear back at the diner and she already had her suspicions when she overheard him and Henry several days earlier. Hearing it from Maleficent though left Lily feeling like a giant spotlight was being shone on her suddenly, with an audience of strangers waiting for her to answer an unanswerable question. 

“For someone who talks about living for the now and the future, you’re pretty eager to dig up the past,” Lily deflected, defensive and tense. 

Maleficent’s shoulders sagged even as her stare was lit aflame. “Is it so wrong that I want to know my daughter? There is nothing I regret more than the fact that we never had our life together, but even so there is no use trying to live in the past. Every effort I’ve made to learn about you has been to learn more about the woman you became, the woman I’m trying to build a relationship with now.” 

Guilt hit Lily at her mother’s words but she fought off the instinctive flinch. 

Maleficent sighed. “I suppose there were some unintended and helpful consequences of my public appearances with Snow and the puppet though. Seeing me with their heroes in polite conversation means the townsfolk haven’t treated me with as much disdain of late.”

Lily perked up a little at that; glad to hear at least Maleficent was being accepted, even on a small level, by the people. 

Her mother continued. “Even so, I’m still a villain. That’s how the people of this town will likely always view me. But I meant what I said before about wanting to stay here without trouble, to start a new life amongst these people, and for that new life to work I’ll have to be on good terms with them. August and even Snow White have helped me find some semblance of a place in this town.”

Lily fidgeted and raised timid eyes toward her mother. “Mal, what I said before about you being a villain and it changing how I see you… And about how it was weird that you of all people were my mother? I just want you know that I’m actually kinda glad it’s you and not some bright and shiny hero.”

That got Maleficent’s attention. “I don’t understand?”

Lily took a steadying breath, putting her thoughts in some kind of order. “I guess it just sort of made you more real to me too. If the apprentice had told me I was Sleeping Beauty’s kid I would’ve never believed him. But after everything I’d gone through in life by then, it just made sense to me that I was your kid, or at least someone like you.” 

“But what do you mean, someone like me?” Maleficent questioned, shaking her head and leaning forward, as if the proximity would bring her closer to an answer. 

“I’ll never be a hero, I’m just not that good of a person, and if my parents were heroes I’d never be able to live up to that. I think that would’ve hurt more than never knowing where I came from.” 

“Lily,” Maleficent said, hand reaching out for her daughter’s in an attempt at comfort. Lily surprised herself by letting their hands meet.

“But learning it was a villain, that it was you… I mean, you had to fight for what you wanted, and people saw you as this dark and evil thing that they wanted nothing to do with. I could relate to that on a certain level. And if you somehow made a name for yourself, even an infamous one, it was actually kind of hopeful for me. It gave me hope that maybe I could do something with myself too.” Lily looked up at her mother and held her gaze. Her mother’s sagged shoulders straightened and her face brightened considerably. 

“Perhaps you’re right and it’s indeed for the best that Aurora isn’t your mother.” A hint of a smirk made it’s way onto her face, and she glanced quickly over their now empty plates. “She probably wouldn’t appreciate this barbecue as much.”

Lily laughed at that, the tension broken. “No, probably not!” 

Maleficent’s laughter joined Lily’s and soon they were both doubled over in laughter, the other restaurant goers staring at them in confusion at their strange euphoria. For once Lily didn’t care that they were staring, didn’t care that they would probably tell other people about the strange laughing fit she and Maleficent had in the restaurant. All that mattered to Lily was that she and her mother had shared a heart to heart without it blowing up in her face. It felt like she was actually making progress and it was the best feeling Lily had had in a very long time. 

Ulric approached them once their laughter began to die down, on the pretense of cleaning up their plates. There was cautiousness in his every step and Lily could easily see confusion in his face as he eyed the mother-daughter pair. “Did you, um, did you enjoy the food?” He asked nervously. 

Maleficent clearly noticed his nerves but she did nothing to acknowledge it (Something Lily had begun to notice was a habit of hers, or maybe a coping mechanism of some sort.). “It was marvelous! I can’t remember the last time I ate such perfectly cooked meat! I doubt even dragon fire could make something so delicious!” She declared. 

Ulric’s nerves eased just a little and he preened at the unexpected compliment. “Oh, that’s very kind of you to say. Um, would you like a doggy bag?” 

“Pardon?” Maleficent’s eyes narrowed in confusion and she turned quickly to Lily for an explanation.

“It’s for the leftovers, in case we want to eat them later,” Lily explained hurriedly. “I don’t think we have enough to really justify it though.” Despite her earlier worries about ordering too much food Lily and Maleficent had somehow managed to polish off everything on the table. Ribs were picked clean, platters of fries and fried okra were empty, and even the bottles of sauces were noticeably lighter than before. 

“Ulric! Hurry up! We have a delivery,” Another waiter (one of Ulric’s brothers, Lily thought.) called out from behind the counter. 

“Edmund we don’t do deliveries? And we’re still short-staffed, I can’t just up and leave.” 

His brother replied emphatically. “I know, I know, but it’s for Ruby.” 

An understanding nod was Ulric’s reply. “Give me a few minutes, then I’ll take it over. What’s the address?”

The exchange continued but Lily only half listened to it. Maybe it was the rush of a decent encounter with her mother, or maybe something in Lily really was changing, but inspiration struck and she made her decision before she had a chance to talk herself out of it. “Hey Ulric! We’re headed that way. We can take Ruby’s order down there for her.”

The surprise on the brother’s faces would have been comical if it didn’t put Lily on the spot once again. She cursed inwardly at her latest dumb idea of the day, wishing she had just kept her mouth shut.

“Should we perhaps send word we’re on our way? I find that when someone in my position arrives unannounced it tends to go poorly…” Maleficent cautioned, a strange smile on her face at her daughter’s offer. 

“One, um, one moment…” Ulric raced behind the counter and dragged his brother with him into the kitchen to meet their third brother. Lily could hear them arguing in hushed and hurried voices, but could not make out what they were saying. Other restaurant goers were whispering amongst themselves and watching the exchange with interest, their gazes flickering between the kitchen and Lily’s table. Lily tried to comfort herself mentally by noticing that none of the other patrons seemed openly hostile, but she fidgeted in her seat nervously anyway. 

Several minutes later Ulric came out with a small bag in hand and approached the table. “It’s all paid for and we’ve called ahead, so Ruby and her Gran know you’re on the way,” He explained, placing the bag on the table. He stood there anxiously for a moment, an awkward silence filling the space between them. “Ruby’s fine with it, by the way. Or at least, she said it was fine, erm… Have a nice day then,” He finished lamely. He scurried back to the kitchen where his brothers were waiting for them. 

Maleficent wiped her hands clean and stood from the table first in one smooth motion (She could have easily been standing up from a throne, Lily thought belatedly.). Lily slowly followed suit, took the to-go bag in one hand, and kept her eyes focused straight ahead as she walked out of the restaurant, refusing to catch the eye of any restaurant patrons as Maleficent trailed behind her. 

The walk to Ruby’s place was quiet and uneventful but Lily swore she could feel the eyes of every townsperson they passed watching her like a hawk, just looking for a reason to chase her out of town. It felt like a test of some kind, like if she successfully brought Ruby her meal and Ruby didn’t die of magical poisoning because of it then the locals would accept Lily. Logically she knew that probably wasn’t true, but it didn’t stop her traitorous thoughts from thinking it anyway. 

It probably didn’t help that Maleficent was oddly silent the entire time and kept throwing curious glances at Lily, glances Lily did not return, for fear that she would lose her nerve. 

When they reached the brick building that held Ruby’s apartment Lily was slow to walk up the stairs, but she managed to put one foot in front of the other until she stood in front of the wolf’s door. Maleficent stood a short ways off several doors down the hallway, somehow wordlessly realizing that Lily wanted to do this herself. Raising her hand, Lily hesitated only a moment before knocking lightly on the door and moving several steps away, her back colliding with the opposite wall. 

The door opened moments later and there was Ruby leaning tiredly against the frame, dressed in sweats and with dark circles under her wide eyes. “Lily? So ‘Ric was telling the truth, you really did stop by Three Pigs.” Inside the apartment Lily caught sight of the widow Lucas watching their exchange warily, her eyes staring her down from behind her innocuous glasses.

“Your um… Your food,” Lily answered dumbly, thrusting the take out bag in front of her with rigid arms, refusing to leave the solidness of the wall behind her. 

Ruby stepped out of the apartment and into the hall to take the bag hesitantly, a question on her face and in her voice. “Thank you?”

“Mal told me using magic takes a lot out of a person and since transformation is a kind of magic I just thought… It was good barbecue and it helped me today so…” Lily shifted on her feet, her thoughts everywhere at once and pouring from her mouth with no filter. Her earlier zeal was gone and now she wasn’t sure what had prompted her to play delivery girl in the first place. “I mean, we were headed back into town anyway and I just thought I’d see how… Fuck, I dunno…” 

“Barbecue is the best thing to have after a transformation,” Ruby noted, and Lily snapped her head up to meet the brunette’s eyes. “It’s kind of like having something sweet after going to the gym. It just tastes so much better after a workout, like you’ve earned it.”

Not sure how to respond and in a futile attempt to save face Lily took several steps down the hall and slowly turned to walk away. Her hands formed nervous fists that she hid in her jacket pockets. 

Ruby called out to her before she went too far from the apartment, “Hey Lily? Seriously, thank you.”

Lily glanced back in time to see the wolf smile and returned it with a small one of her own before walking away once again to rejoin Maleficent down the hall. Her mother remained silent until they finally stepped outside the building, their feet hitting the pavement with a decisive thud that audibly broke the silence between them. 

“May I ask what prompted all this?” Maleficent questioned softly, voice genuinely curious. “This desire to see the wolf?”

Lily shrugged. “I don’t know, honestly. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I’m just glad it didn’t blow up in my face somehow.”

“I think it was a good idea,” Her mother agreed with her. “If we’re to find a place in this town then it’s wise to be on good terms with the people who live here. I mentioned that the locals don’t seem to be running for the hills in my presence now that they’ve seen me with Snow and the puppet?”

“I guess…”

“But also, as your mother it’s nice to see you reaching out,” Maleficent told her, a smile on her face. “It’s good to have friends.” 

Lily thought about that for a moment. Friendship was something that had never come easily to Lily, if at all. Whatever was happening between her and Will Scarlett and Roland Locksley was certainly the start of something, but the tumultuous not-a-friendship she had with Emma was probably the closest she ever came to one, unless she counted her relationship with August as a partial friendship (And somehow she just couldn’t. He was a shoulder to lean on and an invaluable listening ear but friendship didn’t seem to adequately cover everything August had been to her.). Lily and Ruby weren’t friends, although the thought of being friends with the she-wolf didn’t seem entirely impossible now. She smiled to herself at the realization.

“Hey, do you wanna walk around the woods for a bit, just do something low key?” Lily asked. Part of her wanted to go back to her room at Granny’s, to end the day on a high note before she could jinx it, but the ever-hopeful flicker in her insisted she could keep the goodness going for a little longer. 

“That sounds lovely,” Maleficent agreed, letting Lily lead the way out of town and to the forest. 

The further into the woods they walked the calmer Lily felt. She let the earthy air fill her lungs, let the sounds of forest life punctuate the occasional comment between her and her mother. As she relaxed, so did Maleficent, the tension in her jaw long gone and the steel in her gaze softening. They eventually reached the playground where Lily had met with Henry days earlier, the wooden towers still as spiked and foreboding as she remembered. 

“Henry said the evil queen had this place built to look like her castle in the Enchanted Forest,” Lily remarked. 

“How very like Regina. I can practically see where she would have kept her stable and her throne room in such a place,” Maleficent snorted before her face softened in time with her voice. “At least here she could have children running around her castle.”

Lily wanted to ask about the sudden softness in her mother’s words, but thought against it. If it dealt with the evil queen she wasn’t sure she really wanted to know. 

It was late by the time they thought to check their phones. Lily and Maleficent ended up spending so long at the playground sitting in amicable conversation that they were able to watch the sun begin to set through the trees. The streaks of gold and orange shot through the branches in fiery beams, reminding Lily of the sunrise she witnessed just that morning. Maleficent pulled her new phone out of her pocket and stared at it in dismay for several moments, sighing as she turned it over in her hand. 

“The talking phone continues to elude me,” Maleficent said. “I was supposed to receive a message from Regina some time ago about the state of her spell. I hope nothing’s gone wrong…”

Lily narrowed her eyes at her mother’s phone in thought. She picked up the phone, testing it quickly. “Um, Mal? You’re phone battery’s dead.”

“Impossible, I fed it yesterday.”

“And has it been powered on for the last forty eight hours? ‘Cause some phones can’t stay on for that long,” Lily noted. 

Maleficent took the phone back from her daughter and examined it, frowning as she did so. “So it is. You have a talking phone as well, yes? Perhaps we could use yours to contact Regina? She won’t know we’ve left the diner and even if Ruby reported back to the barbecue restaurant, as I suspect she did, no one will know we came out to the forest.”

“Oh, um, sure? I don’t have her majesty’s number though.” Lily thought for a moment and groaned as a thought came to her. “I have someone else’s number… Hold on a sec.” 

She sorted through her phone’s contacts until she reached the J’s and pressed ‘call’. He answered after several rings. 

“Jones, it’s Lily.”

An accented voice crackled through the phone. “Lass! We’ve been searching for you. Regina’s spell is ready. I thought you were at Granny’s, where are you?”

Lily bristled a little at the knowledge that apparently everyone in town knew she and Maleficent were supposed to have a mother-daughter brunch today, but pushed the feeling aside as best as she could. “Mal and I left Granny’s a while ago. We’re down at the park in the woods, the one with the playground that looks like a spiky castle?”

“Do you mean Henry’s castle? I know the one. I think Henry’s closest to you by now, I’ll call him and send him over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all have no idea how happy I was to finally be able to write this sort of exchange/encounter for Lily! It only took 13 chapters to get there, but things are moving forward for her! 
> 
> Read and review as always!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIVE!!!!!!!! No excuses for the radio silence except to say life got in the way. This chapter is long though, and a lot of ground is covered in it. 
> 
> Also, thank you to everyone who left messages and reviews when I was essentially AWOL from writing. It means a lot to know people read the fics even when they aren’t being updated regularly.

“Are we really doing this in a graveyard?” Lily questioned Henry, the sunset giving way to night around them and adding a cliché, haunted air to their walk. 

“It’s where mom’s vault is. She keeps all her magical artifacts there. Where else would we do this?” Henry explained, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

Lily’s foot caught on the corner of a gravestone and she stumbled briefly before righting herself, silently bemoaning the dimming light. “Oh, I dunno, maybe somewhere I don’t feel like a living sacrifice in a witch’s stew? Why aren’t we doing this at her house, anyway?”

Henry gave her an odd look. “Mom doesn’t really like bringing magic into the house. I think it’s something about ‘not shitting where you eat’ or whatever? You should’ve seen her when I brought the storybook home before the first curse was broken. I’d never seen her face get all screwy and pinched up like that before.”

“Perhaps she was concerned about leaving magic where a child could stumble upon it,” Maleficent added from behind Lily, her voice thoughtful.

“Yeah! A kid like Roland could get hurt if he thought something like a cursed knife or amulet was just a cool looking toy,” Henry agreed, walking ahead and practically bouncing with every step. 

Lily was tempted to point out that Henry was a kid too, given his young age as well as his sheer giddiness at the chance of the latest tracking spell somehow working. Instead she held her tongue. 

“I meant it more as a danger of worlds colliding,” Maleficent said under her breath. She spoke so quietly that Lily only vaguely realized she was being spoken to. 

“What do you mean?” Lily questioned just as softly, guessing that Maleficent didn’t want Henry to hear for whatever reason. 

“Henry’s parents may hail from the Enchanted Forest but he is very much of this world. He’s one of the few people in this town who never experienced the Evil Queen at her worst. Magic was never supposed to be part of his life and I imagine separating him from magic gives Regina hope that she can move past all the wrong she’s done. He’s her clean slate, so to speak.”

“Her second chance at not fucking up?”

Maleficent’s mouth twisted before tipping upward in agreement. “Yes. Just you watch, she’ll want Henry out of the chamber for the spell, if only to preserve the image in her mind a little longer.”

“I thought he was the ‘Word Wizard’ or ‘Author’ or something? Doesn’t that mean he has magic?”

“He has one sort of magic now,” Maleficent agreed. “But he’s also Regina’s son. And that will always come first in her mind where he is concerned.”

Something about Henry and Maleficent’s words stuck and Lily’s mind began replaying her recent encounters with the Evil Queen, a pattern slowly taking shape as she compared them. There was initially meeting Regina Mills in Maine with a darkening Emma and a gun, compared to the lonely Storybrooke bus bench where the Queen stole some of Lily’s blood for Isaac’s curse. There was Lily’s hospital room from the other day where the Queen didn’t discuss the darker magical aspects of Lily’s condition until Roland was out of earshot. And there was the story Henry just added about bringing the storybook of the Evil Queen’s greatest hits into her magic-free home. If Lily let herself really examine those encounters she started to see a picture emerge of two distinct women, or at least, of one woman trying separate her past from her present. 

In front of people she cared about, and especially in front of children, she tried to be simply Regina Mills, but in front of those she deemed a threat or in need of intimidating she was the Evil Queen. She didn’t want those worlds mixing for fear of being branded as evil through and through, similar to Maleficent’s reluctance to share her own dark origins (In Lily’s mind Regina Mills was still and probably always would be the Evil Queen no matter how many PTA meetings she attended or potholes in the streets she filled. Probably, anyway…). Regina Mills, adoptive mother and town mayor, lived in a house. Meanwhile, the Evil Queen, collector of hearts and dispenser of curses, worked shut away in a crypt. 

On second thought, maybe crypt was too generic and not grandiose enough of a description. Henry had described the place they were going as a vault, but the marble structure lording over the greenery and tombstones was more of a mausoleum built with weathered stones, somehow managing to look ancient and new all at once and very much like something straight out of the Evil Queen’s castle in the Enchanted Forest (The thought crossed Lily’s mind that all of Storybrooke was just an elaborate replica of the Evil Queen’s kingdom, complete with various architectural tributes in the graveyard and playgrounds and who knew where else?). 

The entrance to the vault was flanked by a pair of smooth columns and overhead was a seal with symbols Lily couldn’t make out from the ground. While not physically very tall, the building was unique in the cemetery and imposing enough to stop Lily in her tracks for a moment as she took in the heaviness of the surrounding air, the invisible and chilling fog that seeped into her bones. Lily quickly found her legs and neared the door where Henry and her mother were heading inside. 

Distantly, Lily wondered if there was even a dead body inside the damn vault to validate it’s placement in the cemetery, or if it was it all for show just so Her Majesty could justify having a really big stone building somewhere inconspicuous. 

(A less distant part of Lily wondered how dangerous this tracking spell was going to be, and if the distance between the vault and Lily’s final resting place was a lot shorter than it should be for so early in her life.) 

Climbing down the vault steps behind Henry and Maleficent, Lily could hear several voices inside, all chattering nervously in hushed tones too soft to make out, but loud enough for her to recognize the owner’s of those voices. Lily swore she felt her hair standing on end in anticipation of meeting those people again, and had to force her feet forward. As she landed on the final step, the first thing that Lily noticed was the presence of a stone tomb in the center of the chamber, the name ‘Henry Mills’ engraved on the immovable lid. 

‘The Queen’s father,’ Lily remembered. A chill ran through her at the sight and she didn’t stop the involuntary shiver. 

The next thing she noticed was a trio of heads swiveling toward her, three pairs of eyes locking onto her and freezing her movement further. In the crowded vault amongst the entombed remains, stone shelves, and various bubbling magical accoutrements stood the Evil Queen and the un-Charmings, all three of them oddly chipper for such a dour setting.

A question about just how much time the group spent in the eerie vault for them to be so at ease replaced Lily’s earlier notions about the once questionable presence of a body in the stony tomb. 

“Glad you could both show up,” The Queen intoned. She turned to Maleficent, her next words dripping with annoyance. “Mal, do I have to teach you how phones work again? This is twice in a week I’ve called and you couldn’t be bothered to show up on time.” 

“I’m not one of your subjects to be summoned on a whim, Regina. We’ve been over this. And I’m told my talking brick needs to be fed. Why do these bricks require such constant maintenance? I never had such troubles with my ravens,” Maleficent commented as she stepped further into the chamber, moving carefully around the stone coffin. 

The Queen rolled her eyes. “You sound like Hook.”

Lily found her voice and asked, “Where is Jones, anyway? I thought for sure he’d be here.”

Henry jumped in, obviously excited. “He and Belle found a way to cross realms without magic beans, something about the apprentice’s wand? They’re still working out the details but they’re really close!”

“And their progress will mean very little unless we can glean Emma’s location from Miss Page,” The Queen reminded her son. Gesturing to a chair set up by the wall next to a folding table she locked eyes with Lily. “Sit, please.” 

Lily moved off the step and into the vault chamber but remained resolutely on her feet next to the chair. She crossed her arms uncomfortably as she eyed the crowd of people still inside the vault with her. 

“We’ll get out of your hair for the spell. I know David and I are probably the last people you want to see,” Snow White started to say, noting Lily’s discomfort. “We just wanted to say thank you in person first.”

“But I haven’t done anything,” Lily fidgeted. Her feelings about the too-noble couple were far from sure anymore and she didn’t want to feel like she owed them something by being thanked. 

Prince Charming shook his head, adding, “Yeah you have. You stayed. And I know it was probably for your own reasons but you could’ve skipped town ages ago. With you here now we have another shot at finding our daughter. So thank you.”

Lily had no words, something she hated herself for in that moment. She wanted to stay angry with the Evil Queen and the un-Charmings, wanted to cling to her unrealized vengeance against them because without it she was lost and adrift without a purpose. Angry was all she knew how to be toward these fairy tale characters, toward these people. And maybe that was part of the problem. They weren’t just abstract names on a bulletin board of fairy tale vengeance anymore; they were real people with real world problems. People with groceries to buy and taxes to pay and families they wanted to look after. Families they wanted to reunite. 

It wasn’t the first time Lily was faced with the realness of the characters in front of her, but this time Lily was reminded of Maleficent’s comment regarding names and how Maleficent learning Lily’s name made her real, not just a distant figure. The memory of that conversation only further reminded Lily of the struggle her mother had gone through trying to reunite with her, and the damnable flicker of warmth in Lily’s heart clenched in guilt as it compared Maleficent’s struggle at reunion with that of Emma’s parent’s. The flicker clenched further as it silently reminded Lily that she and Maleficent had only been separated once, while Emma and her parents had apparently been separated multiple times. 

“We’ll get going,” Snow finally said. “Regina, we’ll be at the library with Belle and Killian when you find something.”

“You’re my first call,” Regina assured Snow. 

Once the pair left the vault Lily felt the tension leave her. Maleficent noticed her change in demeanor and offered her daughter a hidden smile that Lily struggled to return. 

Regina turned to her son and, just as Maleficent predicted, said, “Henry why don’t you go with them?”

“Mom, I want to stay,” Henry insisted with all the non-authority of a teenager. 

“Henry…”

“It’s fine,” Lily interrupted, surprising them and her. “He can stay. So how’s this spell thing work?”

Regina struggled to answer, her eyes flickering between her son and Lily. In a moment of conviction, the Queen straightened her shoulders and pointed to a fog-filled sphere on the folding table. “You’re going to find Emma’s location on that globe. This is essentially the same spell that Gold used to lead us to Henry in Neverland, but I’ve taken some liberties to give the spell a little kick since you and Emma are connected by your hearts.”

“A kick?” Lily’s eyes dropped to the folding table where the foggy globe sat next to several steaming cups that looked deceptively like brewing tea and some jars of dried ingredients. “With a bunch of kitchen spices and weird smelling tea?” 

The Queen added, “Hardly, Miss Page. The entire town has been working to find all the necessary ingredients and your own mother helped me brew these intermediate potions. I’m not adding a dash of cinnamon for flavor.”

“Or eye of newt,” Henry chimed in jokingly, bouncing on his toes and eager to see the spell start. His mother’s neck snapped comically fast toward her son, who only shrugged at her pointed stare. 

“It’s just some basics and some rarities that should strengthen the spell. Some crushed mermaid scales in water, the shell of a used magic bean,” The Queen listed as her manicured fingers daintily picked up a jar of dirt and held it proudly to the dim light in the chamber, “And to top it all off, fairy dust. Re-crystallized and purified from it’s raw form.”

“That’s fairy dust? Shit, Ruby wasn’t kidding about it being nondescript,” Lily muttered. She heard Henry snort under his breath at that and ignored the pointed look Maleficent shot her. 

The Queen ignored her and began carefully pouring out ingredients into an empty bowl, mixing them together into a sloshing, muck-colored brew that looked and smelled anything but magical. Lily fidgeted as the Queen worked, and wondered aloud, “So it looks like you’ve got everything covered here. What exactly do you need me to do? Chant something over the magic mud?”

The Queen pulled a small knife from the table and sauntered toward Lily, who immediately tensed and rushed backward. At Lily’s skittishness the Queen’s face twisted into a mixture of exasperation and annoyance, and in another context Lily would have thought the Queen were reprimanding a teenager for some petty nuisance. “I need your blood, Miss Page. You knew this would require blood going into this whole thing. Don’t try and tell me you forgot that.”

“Yeah, but there’s no way in hell you’re cutting me open!”

“I’m not- We only need enough to fill a small vial. We’re skimping down on the spell as it is,” The Queen tried to explain. 

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“Yes it is, Miss Page, along with the fact that the blood has to be willingly given, so you’ll be collecting it yourself. Mal, hand her the vial. We’re wasting time.”

Lily’s eyes flashed to her mother, who held a small glass vial in one hand. Maleficent’s features flitted quickly between the Queen and Lily, a deceptively neutral expression carefully arranged there. She extended her hand out to the Queen. “Hand me the knife, Regina.”

The Queen blinked in confusion before understanding dawned on her and she complied. She took an exaggerated step back from Lily and Maleficent, joining her son against the wall. Maleficent handed the vial and knife to Lily, who took them slowly. “No one is going to force you to give blood or participate in this spell or do anything you don’t want to do, Lily,” Maleficent told her quietly, searching her daughter’s face.

“Not like there’s a hell of a lot of choice here,” Lily retorted. “I’m the only one who can find Emma, right? If I don’t bleed then this whole thing is dead in the water.” 

Lily had spent so much time lately actively not-thinking about the tracking spell that she never got around to considering whether she actually wanted to help find Emma at all. Obviously it was the ‘right thing to do’ but being used as a tracking beacon for Emma was just another reminder that Lily’s presence in Storybrooke was tolerated for the sake of the goddamned Savior. Lily wanted to be needed, yes, but not as a tool that would be tossed aside once the job was done. 

No one wanted Lily for Lily. Maybe she should’ve gone back to Granny’s after all, ended the day on the high note she so rarely got. 

Where Lily normally expected to feel the cold blanket of her darkness reaffirming the knowledge that she was well and truly alone in the world, she was instead faced with the voice of the flicker of warmth that had grown inside her all week. 

‘Not true,’ The flicker insisted, growing steadily stronger. ‘You are wanted.’ The flicker flashed images of Roland, Will Scarlet, her mother, and even Ruby, Henry, and Jones through her mind, growing warmer as Lily let herself mull over their faces. More images passed through her mind, of Henry’s offering of company and sandwiches in the woods, of all the Merry Men by the campfire, of Robin’s gratitude, of the beginnings of Ruby’s acceptance. Every image played before Lily’s mind’s eye like a mini movie and she was helpless to stop the tumultuous wave of warmth that swept over her, her arms wrapping around herself in a need to hold something solid as the unfamiliar emotions surrounded her, threatening to overwhelm her. 

Henry stood next to the Queen, the jovial and eager air from earlier vanished and replaced by a strange expression. “Lily, please? You’re right; we can’t find my mom without you. We need your help.” 

‘This is the right thing to do,’ The flicker reminded her. 

In a final push to quell the rising warmth, and dare she say, optimism, Lily told the others in the vault, “For the record, I don’t like this plan. Shit happens when my blood is involved. You remember Isaac’s fantasy world. And don’t forget what happened when I used my magic earlier this week. I’m a supposed ‘gateway of darkness’ aren’t I? Everything I do goes from bad to worse, no matter how good my intentions are. What if this goes sideways too?” 

“It won't,” Henry told her, gaze steady and sure as it locked onto Lily. "I know you can do this."

Lily sighed, not in defeat, but in a strange sense of relief. A weight was lifted from her shoulders, lightening the dark load Lily carried with her. She eyed the knife. “This thing’s clean, right?” At the Queen’s look Lily muttered ‘never mind’ and brought the blade to her skin, the sensation pointed in the moment and stinging in its aftermath while she filled the vial. Once the small vial was full Lily snatched a cloth bandage from her mother’s hands and wrapped it around her palm. A dull ache throbbed from the wound where she applied the needed pressure. 

“Stir it in with the rest of the ingredients,” The Queen reminded her. 

“Why can’t you do it?” Lily questioned.

The Queen’s response was impatient, annoyed at having to explain every step of the spell to Lily and no doubt frustrated with Lily herself. “This has to be done willingly, which also means it has to be done by you. Now stir it in. Slowly.”

Lily hesitated but took the vial in hand and tipped it into the bowl. The murky slosh glistened at the contact and the immediate change surprised Lily. She swore she felt a pulse of something radiate from the contents of the bowl and assumed it was magic, and glancing at the other occupants of the room she realized they felt it too. 

Lily tried to stir the ingredients with her one uncut hand, but quickly realized that two hands were necessary and her cut hand was in no mood to do any more work. She grit her teeth clenched the edge of the bowl with her injured hand. It was a struggle to keep the cloth bandage in place, a pulsing pain radiating from the shallow cut as Lily tightened her grip and steadied the bowl.

“So what now?” Lily questioned once everything was mixed and glistening. “I say some magic words?”

Maleficent replied, “You’re going to pour the contents over the globe, but while you’re doing that you need to concentrate on Emma. Try and grab onto that connection between you two. Follow it like a string that leads somewhere and don’t let go until you reach the end of the line.”

“Grab how?”

“With your magic,” Henry chimed in. “You had those dreams and visions and stuff about her, try and think about those.” 

“With my-? I’ve never ‘followed’ that link before. It just kinda happens,” Lily tried to explain. “And I’m usually asleep for it anyway. How am I supposed to hold on to something like that when I’m awake?”

“By trying,” Henry told her, adamant and hopeful in the way that Lily just wasn’t, even with the newfound layer of warmth that was growing around her heart. 

“Lily, remember when we practiced transformations the other day?” Maleficent asked her.

“When I lost control and sent us both to the hospital?”

Maleficent’s jaw tensed briefly. “Yes. That. You told me you couldn’t recall the sensation of having claws but you remembered the feelings you experienced that led to the transformation. Try focusing on a feeling that accompanies those visions of Emma.” 

Lily nodded, not sure if it would work, but glad to at least have somewhere to start. She thought of Emma using magic in the forest, of the creepy dragon-like man with the taunting chirp for a voice. Lily thought of the warmth she felt in her limbs and how it turned cold but explosive, a frozen burn that left her angry and frustrated at her lack of control. As Lily felt for the familiar pull of darkness in the magic Emma used she felt the darkness inside herself spring forward, eager to latch onto this unexpected crack in Lily’s demeanor after being shut away. She focused harder on the warmth she first felt in that dream, before it turned cold and dark and so painfully familiar, an effort that left Lily gritting her teeth in concentration. 

Taking the bowl in stiff hands Lily poured it over the foggy globe. The glistening muck didn’t surround the globe like Lily thought it would, but instead was absorbed into the sphere, turning the inner white fog into a glimmering dark pool of swirling magic. Again, Lily felt the pulse from before radiate from the globe, but this time she didn’t let it slip past her. She imagined herself snatching the pulse of magic with an invisible hand, grabbing tight and letting her eyes slide closed and her real hands come to rest on either side of the globe. 

She could feel the energy in her palms; feel the pulse like a rope that was pulling her through murky and treacherous waters. Following that rope felt like pulling her way through a swamp, the air around her thick and muddy and she struggled to breath. In the space of an eternal moment she felt herself swallowed whole and spat out on the other side. As she looked around she saw a line of massive trees with shrubs and fog shrouding their trunks. She was running through them, desperately following after someone. Or was she chasing someone? Why was she chasing them? A spark of blue flashed before her and a flurry of red hair followed after it in her mind’s eye. The taunting chirp of the dragon man whispered in her ear but Lily couldn’t hear him well enough to make out the words beyond ‘Dearie’, ‘kill her’, and ‘necessary’. She recognized the darkness that seeped from those words, but something about it seemed distant and removed. It was still familiar in the way the darkness always had been to her, but the flicker in Lily’s heart twisted against it, not wanting to stay so close. 

‘Emma’, Lily realized dimly. ‘This is what Emma’s seeing right now. What she’s feeling.’

“What Emma’s seeing? Tell us what you see, Lily. We can’t see anything from here. What’s happening?” A voice, the Queen’s, pulled Lily half back from the edge of the image. It took her a moment to remember that she wasn’t actually running through a forest, that she was standing in the Queen’s vault with her hands on a globe. Her mind was the wanderer here, not her body. The realization didn’t lessen the clarity of the image but it did dampen the realness of it, to Lily’s relief. 

The relief was short lived as a force pushed Lily out of the forest, sending her shooting upward until she was flying overhead, the great trees below now little more than twigs on the ground. Lily tried to swoop back down below the tree line but met resistance in the form of an invisible shield, one that she couldn’t find her way through. 

“Something blue… Red hair… I don’t know, I’m being pushed back,” Lily struggled to explain, holding onto her awareness in both realities and refusing to let go of the rope binding her and Emma together. “There’s something stopping me.”

“A barrier of some kind. Try and break through. You’ve looked through whatever this is before,” The Queen urged.

“I was asleep and I still got kicked out!” Lily reminded her, frustrated and fading fast.

Maleficent’s soothing voice focused Lily. “Don’t worry about the barrier, Lily. Just tell us what you can see from wherever you are.”

Lily fought to hold onto the magical connection tying her to the sphere and supposedly to Emma, trying to keep her grip long enough to see something useful and not let this entire spell be a waste of everyone’s time. “I see a forest,” She started.

“Helpful,” The Queen deadpanned. A flash of shame burst through Lily briefly and she tried to shove it aside. When she couldn’t will it away she settled for letting it perch on the edge of her awareness like an impending storm cloud. 

“Regina!” Maleficent hissed. 

Henry chimed in. “Lily, what else? Do you recognize any of the types of trees? Are there any landmarks near you, a mountain or a castle? What about a river?”

“They’re the same kind of trees as the forest here,” Lily told them, feeling helpless at how little she could glean from the scenery around her. Her eyes caught sight of a small clearing a short ways off and she shot toward it, an unknown instinct telling her to go there. “I think there’s a stone circle… It kinda looks like a super rustic Stonehenge in the middle of the woods. There are some weird symbols carved into the rocks.”

“Ok! That’s great! What else?” Henry’s excitement was electric and a small part of Lily was glad that this spell wasn’t a complete waste. 

Regina’s excitement was less obvious than her adoptive son’s, holding herself in check and demanding more specific answers. “Keep going, Lily. What else can you tell us about this stone circle? How big is it? What shapes are the stones it’s made out of?”

The nearer Lily got to the stone monument the more she struggled. The barrier that kept her from flying back into Emma’s vision was keeping her from getting closer to the stones. Lily struggled and fought but the barrier only grew stronger. Dimly she realized that the barrier must have been coming from Emma and that as Emma neared her final destination at the stone monument, the barrier would only get stronger. 

Like hell Lily was gonna get so close only to be shoved aside at the last minute. 

Lily focused harder on the barrier, determined not to let it stop her from getting the information needed to find Emma. “I think I can break through this barrier, I just need to…” 

If the barrier was determined to keep her away, then maybe she could use that? Maybe she could trick her dragon into thinking the barrier was being more aggressive than it actually was? Trick her dragon into thinking Lily needed more magic to defend herself? 

Lily surged forward into the barrier, letting it shove her conscious around like a leaf in the wind, and was rewarded with a burst of energy from within her. It sprang to life, fiery and eager, and it took all of Lily’s concentration not to let it overtake her completely. But she couldn’t stop the magic of her dragon from lengthening her nails or shifting her vision even through the scope of her mind’s eye. Nor could she find it in her to care that she was teetering on the edge of control, her growing nails scraping harshly against the glass sphere in the Queen’s vault and the colors of the forest around her no longer visible to human eyes. 

What she was doing was working. Letting her dragon’s magic run just a little wild was working. She could feel the barrier shifting beneath the weight of her magic, struggling to hold together under the assault and a thrill of pride surged through Lily. 

‘No way Her Majesty stays unimpressed after this,’ Lily thought, her inner voice sounding rougher, angrier. ‘This’ll show her.’

She could bring down the barrier, could break it down under the might of her dragon’s magic. She could get back into Emma’s head and find out exactly where she was and prove to the Queen and to all of the fairy tale things in Storybrooke that Lily Page was more than a tracking beacon for their precious Savior, more than an ominous cloud of darkness over all of their heads. 

‘More than a waste of magic and potential,’ She thought distantly, the thought touched with the cold of her darkness sneaking its way back to the front of her thoughts. 

Maleficent’s voice cut through the anger and the cloud of pride swirling through Lily’s head. “Lily, that’s enough. Don’t worry about the barrier. Just tell us what you see and we’ll-”

“No! I can do this. If you want to know where Emma is then I have to do this!” Lily imagined her growing talons clawing at the barrier, beating down its defenses. The barrier shifted and struggled against her, refusing to budge. Lily grit her teeth and tried to push through the walls holding her back, letting the darkness inside her lend it’s power to her attempts, but as hard as she pushed she couldn’t break through. The more she pushed, the heavier and more drained she felt, and she soon felt her mind’s eye pulling back from the other realm all together.

‘No! Not yet! I’m so close! I can do this!’

“Lily, please! You’ve done enough. I need you to be safe. Just let it go!” Maleficent insisted, voice cutting through the dark energy infecting Lily’s magic. Lily forced everything from her mind except her mother’s voice and the barrier. She let them both focus her and with a final push Lily threw her dragon’s remaining magic at the barrier, listening to it crack apart beneath her as it crumbled to nothing in the other realm. 

‘I did that,’ Lily thought dimly in the weightless aftermath, too sapped of energy to do anything else. Lily’s mind suddenly went blank, her head empty of all thoughts and control over what remained of her magic, and in a rush she felt her mind being pulled back through the swampy muck it first traveled through to find Emma, landing with a thud back inside her body in the vault. 

Lily felt her legs give out from under her and collapsed to her knees on the stone floor, her arms clinging to the table in a stubborn refusal to fall unconscious this time. She couldn’t stop her vision from going dark completely, and when she came back to awareness she was panting heavily with a light sheen of sweat covering her forehead and her gaze glued to the floor. A distant part of her was pleased to have at least remained mostly upright this time. 

“I broke it,” Lily muttered, her mouth fuzzy and cotton-filled. She barely registered her mother’s hands on her shoulders. 

The Queen’s voice broke the sound of Lily’s continued panting. “The globe? Yes, you did, but it’s Gold’s crystal so I don’t particularly care about-”

“Wha- No,” Lily shook her head once, her vision swimming briefly and head flashing with pain. “That thing stopping me from seeing into Emma’s line of sight. I broke the barrier.”

Her own voice sounded in awe of itself and from the silence that followed Lily guessed that the there were three equally awed faces around her. She didn’t honestly know whether she was pleased to have rendered them all speechless or annoyed that they didn’t think she could do it in the first place. Mostly though, she felt too bleary and drained to think about it further and only wanted to finally move from the hard floor. 

Lily groaned in complaint as she tried to pull herself to stand. Ignoring Maleficent’s attempts to help her. “I’m getting really tired of being this exhausted every time I use magic,” She wheezed.

“I’ve got an energy bar in my bag!” Henry exclaimed, running for his faithful backpack in the corner of the vault. 

Maleficent helped Lily stand from the stone floor and sat her in the neglected chair. The Queen hovered uncertainly to the side. Once settled, Maleficent pulled Lily into her arms. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Maleficent whispered into her ear, her embrace tight but warm around Lily who was too tired to return the hug. “Not only did you break the barrier, but you fought back against both your darkness and your dragon trying to take over and you kept more of your control.”

Lily returned Maleficent’s smile with a hesitant one of her own, letting a small bit of pride warm her at the knowledge of all she had done. 

Henry rushed to Lily’s side with his backpack and a granola bar in hand, offering it to Lily, who stared at it longingly. “Kid, you’re gonna have to open that for me. I don’t think I could even pick my nose right now. Seriously though, am I gonna be this drained all the time from magic? ‘Cause it sucks.”

Henry chuckled at her but obliged, ripping open the wrapper and letting Lily take slow bites from the bar, the contents far too chewy for Lily’s current mood. For fuck’s sake, how could she be too exhausted to even chew a damn bar? 

“Using magic is a lot like using a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. But you’re going to run through your magic and your energy very quickly until you build up that kind of endurance,” The Queen told her, looking at her oddly. “I will say, however, that it is commendable how far you’ve managed to come in barely a week.”

Lily paused at that. “Did you just give me a compliment?” 

“It wasn’t a compliment,” The Queen bristled. “It was an acknowledgement of your magical growth and tolerance. You still went into magical debt again.”

“You said I went into magical debt back at the hospital too,” Lily said around a mouth of granola. 

“You did. And you’ll keep going into magical debt for as long as you keep over-taxing yourself and your powers. It’s unhealthy and a terrible thing to do to yourself, so stop doing that.”

Maleficent interrupted before Lily could speak again. “I think what Regina means is that you should take smaller steps with using your magic until you build up the strength to use it with such…” Maleficent struggled for the word, “Gusto again. Perhaps try those partial transformations I told you about before?” Lily nodded in agreement and Maleficent smiled at her. 

The Queen’s voice pulled Lily from the heartfelt moment, bringing her back to the reason she was in the vault in the first place. “Now then, if you could tell us what else you saw, Miss Page. You said it looked like the forest around Storybrooke? That can’t be the exact forest you saw. We already know Emma’s in another realm.”

Lily shrugged. “It wasn’t this forest exactly. I mean it kinda looked like a cross between Scotland and the forest here. Or what I think Scotland looks like. I’ve never been there, I’ve just seen pictures.”

“Did you see Emma?” The Queen asked, insistent. 

Lily shook her head. “That’s not how the connection thing works. I never see her. I just see things through her eyes. So for a minute or so I was seeing what see saw before I got pushed behind that barrier, and what Emma saw was the forest rushing by while she ran through it.”

Henry interrupted. “She was running? Why? Was she being chased?”

“No I think…” Lily struggled to remember. “I think she was chasing something, or someone.”

“You mentioned a flash of blue light and red hair,” Maleficent added. “Was that what Emma was chasing?”

“I think so? I didn’t see a face or anything distinct, I just remember feeling desperate and knowing I needed to find whatever or whoever it was I was chasing after. That if I didn’t find them something bad would happen to me.” A shiver crawled up Lily’s spine as she remembered the feelings that accompanied those visions from Emma’s sight. “I felt the darkness. It was everywhere but it was… I dunno, it was different somehow, not totally dark like normal. I think I was feeling Emma fight the darkness, but she was so desperate too. I don’t think she’s gonna last much longer against it.”

Silence fell over the group at Lily’s claim and Lily felt the temperature and the mood in the room lower. A surge of guilt barreled into her at having been the cause for the dour shift in the room. 

“Wha-what about that Stonehenge thing you saw? The one you thought you were running toward?” Henry asked in avoidance, a tremor of fear in his voice that Lily couldn’t ignore. “What did that look like?”

“Um, I didn’t get super close but the stones looked as big as those Easter Island statues, just these big rocks all standing upright in a circle,” Lily tried to tell them. “I think I remember a few of the symbols carved onto their fronts, though?”

“I’ve got paper!” Henry offered, eagerly busying himself with his backpack. He yanked the bag open and started rummaging through the contents, throwing books and school supplies to the ground along with spare clothes and toiletries, the sight of which made Lily narrow her eyes. 

“You’re a regular Boy Scout, huh? Ready for anything,” Lily muttered.

Henry ignored her quip and handed her a notebook and a pencil. Lily scribbled down the strange symbols she had seen; trying to remember the order they were carved in. The symbols were like nothing she had ever seen before, but then again, since they were from another realm she couldn’t be blamed for not recognizing them. It wasn’t as if the symbols would pop up on Jeopardy anytime soon. She handed the paper to Henry when she finished, and the kid looked over the drawings in confusion. The Queen’s confusion at the symbols lasted only a moment before a hint of recognition settled in her gaze. Her eyes flickered briefly between Henry and Lily before she came to another decision and turned to her son. 

“Henry, in Gold’s shop there’s a large book with a collection of symbols used in several northern kingdoms; In Arendelle and the Clan Lands and such. Would you grab it and bring it to the library? Hook and Belle should be able to help you identify these symbols,” The Queen requested. 

Henry didn’t seem convinced that this book was necessary, but seemed to recognize something in his adoptive mother’s gaze and grudgingly collected his jacket and backpack before heading up the stairs and out of the vault. Lily was surprised he didn’t put up a single word of protest, wondering what he knew that she didn’t. As soon as Henry left the air rushed out of the room and Lily was even more worried. If the Queen wanted Henry out of the vault for something then whatever it was couldn’t be good. 

Maleficent apparently agreed. “What is it Regina? What did you not want your son to hear? Was it something about those symbols? I vaguely recognize them, but only insofar as their origins.”

“It’s not about the symbols, although I have a pretty good idea which of the realms Lily was looking in on. There’s just something I need to confirm first… Mal, would you grab that looking glass from the shelf?” The Queen requested, cryptic. 

Maleficent’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, and she grudgingly left Lily’s side to collect the mirror. As she moved away the Queen stalked forward and Lily tried to scoot impossibly backwards to escape, the wall behind her halting her efforts. 

She didn’t like the way the Queen was looking at her, eyes narrowed with intent and concentration, clearly preparing for something. It was a repeat of the Queen’s earlier approach with the knife, only this time the air around her was darker and more concentrated. A sudden dark pulse of energy burst through the room as the Evil Queen plunged her hand into Lily’s chest, through her ribs, to grasp her heart. Lily gasped at the shock of the intrusion and brief pain. She lurched back against the chair as the Queen yanked her heart from inside her, holding it in her manicured hand. 

“Regina!” Maleficent cried out, eyes suddenly glowing in anger and rushing forward with a fiery ball of magic in one clawed hand. She stopped short as the Queen’s fingers closed ever so slightly around the heart, leaving Lily to groan at the flash of pain.

“I shouldn’t have been able to do that,” The Queen answered too calmly, gaze locked on the exposed organ. 

“You’re right, I should have burned your hand off and then there could have been two handless wonders in this town!” Maleficent snarled.

As the two women argued Lily found she didn’t particularly care what they were talking about. No, that wasn’t quite right. She cared, but everything was muted, dull, even the cold that clung to her and the darkness that normally spoke in her head were silenced, as was the flicker of warmth she had grown reluctantly fond of. It wasn’t peaceful, but it wasn’t terrible either. It wasn’t anything at all. What was something was the beating heart in front of Lily, pulsing in various shades of purple with nearly impossible to spot bits of black and bright red. Lily couldn’t take her eyes off it, and neither could the increasingly frustrated Queen. 

“Will you just listen, you overgrown lizard? Lily’s heart is no longer pure,” She insisted over Maleficent’s continued snarling.

“Pure? What are you talking about?” Lily asked, finally pulling together enough sense to speak. 

“Explain, Regina. Now.” Maleficent’s eyes had lost most of their unearthly glow but her nails were still lengthened into sharpened talons.

The Evil Queen rocked back on her heels; the heart held in front of her like a carrying tray that she was modeling. “Do you know the reason Emma Swan’s heart could never be removed from her?”

Maleficent snorted at the question. “She’s the product of true love, gifted with light magic. Her newborn brother will likely be the same.”

“I used to think so too, but that’s wrong. If true love were the only requirement there would be other children whose hearts aren’t removable and who could wield powerful light magic. But there aren’t. I haven’t seen Snow’s baby or even Aurora’s son do so much as levitate a tea cup,” The Queen informed them. Lily didn’t miss the way Maleficent’s eyes narrowed at the name Aurora, but found she didn’t care enough to comment on it.

“Fine, there are other requirements apart from true love. Give me Lily’s heart first and then finish your little speech.” Maleficent thrust her hand out expectantly, jaw tense and twitching just like Lily remembered it had when they walked to the clearing the other day.

The Queen actually had the nerve to smirk at Maleficent’s anger and distress, but ultimately reached out and gave Maleficent the heart (It occurred to Lily that she was being given a glimpse of the Evil Queen, of the shrewd and calculated woman that once ruthlessly lorded over the Enchanted Forest. Even through such a small display, it made a lot more sense to Lily why Regina Mills would want to keep the Evil Queen hidden from her son and the other children of Storybrooke.). As the heart met Maleficent’s bare skin her nails shrank down and the red spots on the organ glowed briefly, lighting up brighter and then returning to their earlier dark hue. 

“Don’t put it back just yet. Tell me what you see first,” The Queen instructed, a knowing smugness still present in her eyes.

Maleficent narrowed her eyes at the Queen but turned her gaze toward the heart. Lily watched her mother scan the heart, eyes widening then quickly narrowing again. She ran a hand above the organ, and Lily swore she felt a gentle brush of magic course through her, inquisitive and searching. “But, how…”

The Queen didn’t seem surprised. “You see it too.”

“See what? What’s going on?” Lily’s voice held none of its usual bite and she struggled to understand why.

The Queen addressed Maleficent as she spoke. “Emma Swan’s family tree is hardly magical in origin. The combination of a purely light heart and her birth as the product of true love is what gave Emma her light magic. On the other hand, Lily comes from at least one magical bloodline, yours. She would have had a propensity for magic no matter what. But combine that with her heart being purely dark at birth and not only would it have given her more powerful magic, it would have actually protected her heart from ever being removed, just like Emma’s, but at the opposite end of the spectrum. But look at her heart now. Does that look purely dark anymore to you?” 

“No. No it doesn’t,” Maleficent muttered to herself, half in awe and half bewildered in silence. “The question now is why.”

“What are you…? What’s going on?” Lily asked, entirely lost. The question pulled Maleficent from her captivated gaze on Lily’s heart, and she reached forward, cupping her hands around the heart and placing it on Lily’s chest. With one solid push, Lily watched in muted awe as the organ magically re-entered her chest, filling her with a rush of sensation and weighted emotion, fear and confusion at the forefront, followed closely by relief. 

The Queen barely acknowledged what happened, something that worried Lily greatly and made her question just how often she removed people’s hearts from their chests. Instead she picked up her phone as it started buzzing in her pocket, a flurry of emotions flashing across her face as she took in whatever message she had received. Most notably among them, elation followed quickly by confusion and outrage.

“As much as I would love to stay and chat about this, I’m needed elsewhere,” She told them abruptly. 

“What is it, Regina? Have your son and the others translated the symbols already?” 

The Queen grimaced. “Henry must have sent pictures of the symbols to Belle and she translated them. So now we know more or less where we’re going and how we’re getting there…”

Lily narrowed her eyes at the Queen’s annoyance. “I’m guessing there’s a ‘but’ here?”

“We know where we need to go to find Emma but now I have a baby blanket to grab, a wicked sister to re-capture, and a certain pirate to track down and absolutely throttle for the mess he’s made in a few measly hours,” The Queen listed off with a sneer as she punched out a reply on her phone. 

“I’m taking Lily somewhere she can rest,” Maleficent said.

The Queen waved Maleficent’s plans aside, already on her way out of the vault and muttering darkly to herself in contempt. “Why would that one handed drama queen possibly think going after my sister was a good idea? She’s the last person to be trusted with anything! And Henry should know better than to get involved with something so dangerous.”

Lily watched the Queen saunter away, the woman’s disdain for whatever was happening with Jones, her son, and apparently her sister pulling the energy and life from the vault. In its place was a vacuum of stillness, giving Lily a new understanding of the phrase ‘quiet as a tomb’. 

Lily turned to her mother after several moments of silence. “Should we be worried? She sounds… ” Lily couldn’t find the right word and let the pause do the work for her, expressing her discomfort and uncertainty with the situation and the woman trying to put herself in the center of it all. 

Luckily, her mother understood. “Probably,” Maleficent admitted with a shrug. “There’s nothing else we can do tonight. We should get you somewhere quiet where you can rest. That’s the most important thing right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologize for the delay and I hope the length of this chapter at least partially makes up for it!
> 
> The magic thing has actually bothered me for a really long time. There are so many True Love kids on the show but Emma is the only one that we know for sure has magic. Aurora and Philip have a son, but he has no magic (That we know of) and Emma’s baby bro hasn’t shown a hint of being able to use magic either (Unless it’s too soon in life? Idk). The only thing that separates Emma from those other True Love babies is her pure light heart. That has to count for something more than we realize. 
> 
> Read, Review, and keep pestering me for the next chapter!


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